I cannot make it simpler, plainer, flatter:
do not mistake my words for salesman’s patter:
‘direct’ is not the same as ‘idle chatter’.
You own a thing you never ought to shatter –
you got your Constitution on a platter,
and ‘peace’ beats ‘bleeding’. Never opt for spatter!
The former’s better (trust me) than the latter.
It’s fish that’s nourishing – ignore the batter
(the only thing it does is make you fatter).
We Europeans know. We have the data.
When enemies come challenging, don’t scatter.
Repose is better for your soul than clatter,
the dormouse wiser than the loony Hatter.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
I was sitting on the wall
And I suffered a great fall
Stupid horses came around
Couldn’t see me on the ground
Then of course, Kings men attend
None of them knew how to mend
They kicked off my pieces, scattered
Left me lying ruined, shattered
Then Mad Hatter picked my bits
Took me home in paper sheets
Glued me thoroughly, with care
And his company, March Hare
Treated me with jasmine tea
Which the Dormouse brewed for me
Sitting in a comfy bowl
I won’t try another fall
I’m recovered from that stroke
But those Kings men, what a joke
I was lucky to get Hatter
With the mind that’s over matter
Now I’m living like a king
Chapped, but still a precious thing.
There was a little dormouse
Who lived outside the house
He slept inside a small shoe
waking in the night
To find his dream had come true.
camouflaged nature
cornfield dormouse sleeping sound
silken web shimmers
There's this nasty lady living right
by ours
A cranky old mare holed up next to our house
Her garden is minging and her blinds
are a lot worse
She acts dead weird, I reckon she's proper mental
Her knees are knobby and her walk is
a bit wonky
The foreign woman next door has no right to be here
She doesn't fit in so she stays out of sight
She has no mates, always mutters to herself
We want her out, she's not one of us
Let's egg her house for a laugh and scare the pants off her
So they pelted my door with rotten eggs then posted dog poo through the mail slot
While I remained quiet as a dormouse
and prayed they would just let me be
The natives glozed over their mean deeds
And claimed they meant no offense
My hands were tied, what with being odd man out
So I chose to feign indifference, and passed the baton to the Gods of karma
While I laid back to feast on a larger slice
Of this local brand of hospitality
A SIGHT FOR STRAW EYES
I have a little scarecrow friend,
To his eyes I must attend,
The straw is poking through you see,
So I see him, he can't see me.
But when I saw him just last week,
I heard a tiny little squeak,
Upon my further investigation
I found a Dormouse in location.
A cosy little nest she'd made,
And there four tiny babies laid,
I made my vow to let them be
Now my scarecrow would not see.
I turned and headed for the stile,
Something wonderous made me smile,
It was a whisper on the wind,
I turned around, my scarecrow grinned.
Thank you Sir for doing right,
Mrs. Dormouse she got such a fright,
You see my eyes are her safe haven,
From wind and rain and crow and raven.
A tear rolled down my dusty face,
What magic was there in this place,
My scarecrow gave his eyes you see,
A greater love there cannot be.
I did return and he spoke to me,
And through my eyes I let him see,
A family of Dormice having fun,
Scurrying, laughing in the sun..
A SIGHT FOR STRAW EYES
I have a little scarecrow friend,
To his eyes I must attend,
The straw is poking through you see,
So I see him, he can't see me.
But when I saw him just last week,
I heard a tiny little squeak,
Upon my further investigation
I found a Dormouse in location.
A cosy little nest she'd made,
And there four tiny babies laid,
I made my vow to let them be
Now my scarecrow would not see.
I turned and headed for the stile,
Something wonderous made me smile,
It was a whisper on the wind,
I turned around, my scarecrow grinned.
Thank you Sir for doing right,
Mrs. Dormouse she got such a fright,
You see my eyes are her safe haven,
From wind and rain and crow and raven.
A tear rolled down my dusty face,
What magic was there in this place,
My scarecrow gave his eyes you see,
A greater love there cannot be.
I did return and he spoke to me,
And through my eyes I let him see,
A family of Dormice having fun,
Scurrying, laughing in the sun..
The boy was hopping
The girl was skipping
The baby was bouncing
While the man was kipping
The cat was pouncing
The dog was dancing
The music was bobbing
The sound was throbbing
The dormouse slept
When a lion leapt
As a pig walked by
With a blinking eye
Away he crept
Somewhere else
Nobody's sure where
A gymnast vaulted
Straight up in the air
This nonsense poem
Has been hard work
Carelessly written
By a complete and utter jerk
Alice in Unreality Land
Tweedle Dee was acting frivolously dumb,
Whilst Mock Turtle’s face sullen and glum.
Not unusually White Rabbit was late,
Alice grew large compressed in a gate.
Absent minded Dodo, helpful so polite,
Gryphon has wings but cannot take flight.
A Cat from Cheshire grinning ear to ear,
The Queen has a King, so kindly my dear.
Remover of Monsters our Lizard man Bill,
Caterpillar smokes Hookah with obstinate will.
March Hare so ridiculous, loudly insane,
Dozy Dormouse in Teapot doesn’t complain.
Unbirthday parties of a Hatter so mad,
Duchess is curious, neither good nor bad.
Lewis Carroll wrote a surreal world of confusion,
A curiosity tale filled of unreality and illusion.
Written 8.10.18
Daisy Dormouse
My dearest Daisy Dormouse,
will you invite me in for tea?
I seek your hand in Marriage,
what will your answer be?
Dear Sir, my heart you flatter,
but I cannot marry you,
Mother say’s you’re a Rat
and betrothed to Chantelle Shrew.
The idiosyncracies of a diary entry is a zone of unauthorized review. And subsequent beatings of coconut trees can be viewed as no sport. But leaning heavier than most on a barrier is most definitely a sign of acute tiredness. Yet the tendency to kneel by a fountain and taste cooling air is akin to rubbing one's brow with an ink blot. It is to be said that when the meals gather its supersonic time for the racing of the graters,peelers and knives. Twirling a lethargic disco ball. Taming a bud. Unhesitatingly unwittingly under unison. And a clever coin smiles. Great. Good news is not a dog nor a kitten. It is wise to take in shrew juice when bathing in rivers and rock pools. Never shout dormant to a dormouse. And clinging to ivy os not wise when swinging over the houses. Interesting igniting inching. And a very large ball of dough grinning. At lengths. At widths. And commentary is not a fable playing with a dramatic pin board. Hahahaha and a misty mountainous mouse moving. Hahahaha and the turtle having a sunbathe wearing Bermuda shorts. Hahahaha equatorials' equalling xxxxx gestational Z
A high speed race with a puff ball is very very exciting. But kissing a bead is not that good if one has allergies to plastics. Links then. Importance of clasps'. Over importance of gilded crests. And excessive amounts of currency in a single 1milimetre jewel. Ravishing radiance ridding ridiculous rats. And a curd party forms. Would one care to partake in a gold crested bullfinch parfait? Oh how simply exquisite the tongue of fox. Served with jus. Constructed from heron. Wonderful. Hohohoho houses of zeroo domestic chores. Hohoho polo,croquet,shooting shows. Hohoho and a little dormouse cleaning and cooking. *** genealogy z
A dormouse in a field bucket is very very happy. Such important information gained from the stale water and a legal beetle is buzzing in a furry pair of trousers. Oh look the leap of leaves. Bumping into a glamorous mermaid in an ocean scene. But scent of scenarios are not very scenic. And glowing goblets grabbing giblets is entertaining and exciting. Exotic playing pea pies are waving in a jelly cake. Whilst a radioactive isotope is kicking around in a jar. A pea pod could often resemble the face of a horse. But horseshoes could never resemble restricted fibreglass blankets. Hahahaha bin ban bomb *** hahahaha and a fruit singing to a sofa. Hahahaha charismatically xxxx
As the weather softly turns
Beckoning in the Equinox
Clusters of colourful bulbs
Dance and sway in the breeze
Eagles swoop up on thermals
Flying high until they are specks
Golden feathers gleaming amid
Heather glowing white on the hills
Indigo skies with puffy clouds
Jutting into various shapes
Kale drift by lazily snapping flies
Luscious grasses adorn the meadows
Mushrooms appear nestled under trees
Nightingales sweetly sing in Spring
Osprey dive deep for fish
Plunging in time and again
Quaint old fashioned flowers
Radiant with rainbow colours
Spread rampant in the beds
Tulips dip and bow in greeting
Under the hosta's a dormouse lives
Velvet nose twitching the air
Watching out for birds of prey
Xanado bathed in sunshine highlights
Yellow buttercups which coat the ground as
Zenith of Spring soon now will fade away.
Timid Timmy dormouse had a lovely home
But he was so sad and lonely; he didn’t want to be alone
He did some spring-cleaning so the house was really neat
He went and brought some nuts and some tasty things to eat
Put up a lovely poster inviting people to tea
Thought it was a good thing to stop him being so lonely
Visitors from far and wide came knocking at his door
Timmy was so happy he’d never had good friends before
He saw the cutest little dormouse in her pretty dress
Stood out like a shining star, he fell in love I do confess
Now Timmy and his ladylove have set up home together
Happy and so much in love, together forever and ever
Jan Allison 16th July 2014
Written for Animals Alive Contest.... but withdrawn in favour of Poor Peter Penguin Poem
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