The Foreigner Next Door

There's this nasty lady living right by ours A cranky old mare holed up next to our house Her garden is minging and her blinds are a lot worse She acts dead weird, I reckon she's proper mental Her knees are knobby and her walk is a bit wonky The foreign woman next door has no right to be here She doesn't fit in so she stays out of sight She has no mates, always mutters to herself We want her out, she's not one of us Let's egg her house for a laugh and scare the pants off her So they pelted my door with rotten eggs then posted dog poo through the mail slot While I remained quiet as a dormouse and prayed they would just let me be The natives glozed over their mean deeds And claimed they meant no offense My hands were tied, what with being odd man out So I chose to feign indifference, and passed the baton to the Gods of karma While I laid back to feast on a larger slice Of this local brand of hospitality