After a lifetime of others
telling me not just what to do
but in the same breath without rest
exactly how where and when too
plus prior to crossing the finish line
while swimming upstream or going out on a limb
having the rug pulled out from under me
when skating where the ice is thin
what with those such disappointments
much to my disillusion and dismay
disheartened yet not depressed
but betrayed all along the way
don't know how long I can go on
or is it insanely irrational
for now overcome by total inertia
hopefully tho' it's not terminal
as averse to being bossed double-crossed
yet contrary to popular rumour
all that keeps me safely on kilter
is my in-built sense of humour
so much pain in her eyes
yet she didn't realize
that his heart has stopped
for he loved her so
much enact.
evening ties
the daylight sunrise
pull up
sub nauseous
just so hypnotic
Distress and disheartening
7/16/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr 2021
Although I am grateful, doesn't mean I am free.
For even when a slave is relieved of their hunger,
They are still very much enslaved to their master.
Although I have tendency for guilt, doesn't mean I am obligated to help.
For even when someone considerately offers,
Their efforts can only be so easily dismissed.
Although I am so fortunate, doesn't mean I feel fulfilled.
For even when one has all the riches in the world,
Even their own loved ones can make them feel so alone.
Disheartened
The Dutch tourists have left
and last year’s cherries
hang unpicked as do almond nuts
that are also full of worms,
and who says the grass isn’t sweet?
The sun is a yellow ring
on a blind sky,
disillusioned.
As a 30 watt bulb in a room
with faded wallpaper,
at a rundown hotel
which calls itself Bellevue;
last stop before sleeping rough.
Nothing is more abject
then an out of season tourist town,
worried shopkeepers and tarts
even the flowers are grey;
except for a couple of retired seagulls,
birds have flown to Africa
and will not return
before the rain stops falling.
O, the disheartened poet
that cannot be the end
And that never the end.
You still have ink in your pen
and strength in your hand,
control the destiny.
The earth hails spring in full choir
and the winds kiss the perfumed
garments of the earth.
Trees still have leaves on them
as one falls, the another rises.
The night has fallen
but the morn is not far behind.
So all is not lost till it’s lost
and till then let there be hope.
Feel the spirit of the lovely spring
With dreams to live up, after wintry rest.
We have only one life to live.
This life isn't Dress Rehearsal of a drama
+++
December 9, 2014
Form: Free Verse
Third Place win
It was so uncomfortable,
The tension: Like two strangers
Just waiting to step on each others toes.
Don't put your face so close to mine
I wouldn't want you
To do me any favors!
It's been almost a week.
I'm getting angsty, I'm getting anxious,
I'm getting frustrated.
I need a cigarette!
Maybe I should listen.
Maybe they're right.
Did I impose myself here?
They couldn't be any further from the truth.
I'm not holding on to anything.
How could I? It was never mine in the first place.
Today I decide and tomorrow I wait.
It's not just another Saturday
No, this one has some weight.
Stupid? Not for long.
Friends? I won't say goodbye.
I wonder how long it will take to realize I'm gone.
I wonder if you'll call.
Head downcast, left out
No sign of happiness there
Depressed, disheartened
Sadness reigns within his mind
Hurt man, a destroyed ego
Russell Sivey
a disheartened beast
on the golden field of life
mate didn't show up
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