Deteriorates Poems

I made you look

I do not want to turn on the radio because I do not want to hear about more Palestinians starving in Gaza

I do not want to satisfy the growling in my stomach because I do not want to feel full when so many perish, even as food deteriorates at locked boarders 

I do not want to watch television because I do not want to see the calamity of weaponized famine 

Yet 
my ears can not unhear 
my hunger can not go unsatisfied 
my eye can not unsee 
the brutal horror of vengeance 
unchecked 

I dare not tune out the collective moans of a starving nation 
I dare not think of my momentary lack when so many have suffered to the bone
I dare not watch when 
targeted aggression goes awry
and innocents die 
and the Red Crescent is no longer a symbol of piece, but a target for chaos and destruction

No I will not watch the world watch,
in silence

Not Your Great Pretender

Not a great pretender
So, I quit; a weakness?
So, I rethink; heavy weight
Should I go? 
             - what's waiting on the other side?


Unaffirmative, constant anger, 
What's the problem?
For we do the job you asked; why the furious?
— now I think, did I do something wrong
Call us out, call me out! 

My mental health is at stake
I am not your great pretender
Look at  my expression; the face says it all! 

90 more days: believing faith —
Blindfaith, stagnant
Change: where is? 
Running to the crowd? Hiding away?
I'm sick in the head, is there a funeral?
Send me away, no changing a mind


A cabinet! One day I cleaned
You hear no complain, fine
Like everything else

What else? To do? 
The angel would be mad if we not do something 
You'd say
Give us something for never have we complained
And you're still mad

I do not understand! 
My mind is tired! 
A change of heart! 
A hope I admired 
Never acclaimed 

I thought before my impulse
Hoping! Indeed
Tired, in my mind
My emotions asleep
It does not care but my brain does - every bit of it 
Indeed deteriorates 
You in my mind! I hate

Screen of Awareness

This poem is the result of damage to neurons in the frontal and temporal lobes of my brain. My intelligence deteriorates daily – By Poet.

Through my inner being,
I grasp my primal consciousness.
Where thoughts are filtered, 
The deepest seem hidden even from me,
Only accessible to my subconscious,
The misted screen defies entry.
I yearn for the clarity within.
Do my dreams simulate this awareness?
Do they lift the veil of protection?
Or do they serve to create this confusion?
Searching my tempestuous mind,
I reach the intangible. 
I strive to procure a sieve,
That will once again release awareness, 
To my demented mind.

Sponsored by: Unseeking Seeker
Contest Screen of Awareness Poetry Contests
15th May 2023

I Just Needed To Get This Out

Regret has become a vindictive old friend
We’ll go hand and hand until my cold bitter end
And as hard as I try to fake and pretend
These holes in my heart I’ll never fully mend
All these men
They feel free to mistreat my body
In the mirror, I can’t see the carefree girl I used to be
SET ME FREE
LET ME FLEE
TO ESCAPE
TO RELIEVE
I don’t believe I’ll see days 
where I’m not bogged down in a haze
I just crave a safe space
Some peace thru this unending pain
Everyday it’s the same
People don’t seem to change
I’m estranged
and deranged
My brain it daily deteriorates 
But still, can’t complain
Got a roof when it rains
And the bills they get paid
While single mothers they slave
Slave away, for better days 
Can’t even get to a place
to put some savings away
Why this world just breeds hate
They’ll even spit in your face
This human race 
I’m displaced
Can’t find a trace 
of some kindness or faith
Can I leave? Is this a dream?
OH PLEASE, GOD. 
WAKE. ME.

When the Summer Rained

Hot air causes me to sweat 
Stress causes me to cry 
There’s nowhere to hide from my emotions
But I still try
Food hates me 
Weight loss deteriorates me
They ask me what’s wrong but I have no answer
Confusion and anger cloud my judgement 
I want to move forward but I have no legs
Life moves around me as I stay stagnant
Regret from past future and present chain me to the floor 
And when I look for understanding there is no more
I search for my purpose to no avail 
I work so hard only to fail 
I pick up my pencil and I cannot focus 
I use my words but I cannot speak
Loneliness in a crowd of people keeps me quiet 
So many emotions and I just wanna hide it 
How do you handle loving a lover who’s heart is your no more? 
How do you stand when you want to fall on the floor? 
I try to be strong and just have patience
But my patience is breaking me to the core
My desperation for love is my demise 
I swim in a sea of whys 
I suffocate waiting for true love to find me
I just wait for true love to try me

Cruelty of Devilish Enmity

Never fan enmity as it is dangerous
It may lead to severe blood -shed
Instead use kindness to forgive
That alone is the safest action

Anger is not at all a good trait
As it will destroy a whole clan
It will annihilate peace of mind
Affecting the future generation

Killing, injuring or taking revenge
Will extremely extend the issue
Never will it restore noble mirth
As it paves a route for disaster

Humanity must be ever merciful
As that will promote happiness
Hatred in any form is a hindrance
Allow not that devil in your path

Enmity deteriorates our health
By inflicting badness in brain
Love and affection kindly heal
Bestowing health as a bonanza.

Spiritual Matters-

"Thus the natural matter way
 is not the weight.
As time is not over it is heavily spent 
carnality is not spirituality
 spiritually last forever 
why the cardinality fades
 deteriorates goes back into crushed rock
 distraught clay disintegrated turning to dust
 melting away alas the farmer plows the clay
 the dirt the wind comes forth soon blows
 .blows it all away as the spirit reigns
 Float On eternally floats always
 the spirit shall never fade"
As shown in this spiritual pot



12/22/21
Written by James Edward Lee Sr. 2021©

The Day Death Will Knock To My Door Second Part

The day death will knock to my  door
                              to take me with him
don't repent day and night along
        in delirium and  lament.
The heart and mind stay in rhythm
                      in service of human
nothing is there in life in thought of wealth
              at the end all it goes down.
It makes human a demon
                      if the fragrant of love dies
inferior qualities kills the heart and
             it deteriorates in its price.
Heart and soul is the absolute treasure
                    don't kills it with such inferior qualities
be initiated to destroy those who deceive
           be bright and glorious with this.
In the way to life which I trodden
                       the work which I left behind
please do not give it up 
              keep it in practice, after my end.
The day death will knock to my  door
                 to take me with him
don't repent day and night along
          in delirium and  lament.

Before and After

Before and after 
May show a positive difference
Like a weight loss program
That deceives and soothes people's eyes
But never time and aging
Time comes and goes
Aging lingers and deteriorates
And both of them leave or linger
Without any concrete reasons 
And of course
Without your permission 
And of course 
Without the control of man

Nobody Dies Forever Tribute To Carolyn Helen Devonshire

Let everyone be aware
of this prominent truth :
There is no eternal death,
no one dies forever!
If the body deteriorates,
the flesh of the spirit
it doesn't even putrefy in ground dust,
neither with time!

Old-Rose

a wilting flower’s qualities
are just as admirable
as that of 
a freshly bloomed rose

unlike their sprightly counterparts,
shriveled flowerheads project wisdom
experience
and growth

their browning petals dangle 
with a lifetime’s worth of memories 
as their stem grows weary
from withstanding the windiest of storms

their lifeless leaves
once fed the hungriest bees
and their roots still venture 
beneath the turning soil

although their physical beauty 
deteriorates against the test of time
their memory lives on with each grain of pollen 
whisked away by the breeze 

drooping stems are a mere glimpse 
into the progression of nature
for the death of one flower
leads to the blossoming of another

Incertitude

New stage begins
Where I have to beseech 
everything included, not just
Money, food, job, compliance
But even sex! 

What is this phase?
Which is too hard to live on
What is this chapter?
Of my life, which crumbles me, 
Deteriorates me into pieces
And even restoring it's shape 
Will be hard to recognize myself. 

You say, it is the very end
To the state of being drained
Into the books, you say,
Its the time I repay you all
Back, oh really!!
Reckoning all of this
Makes me go crazy!!!

Where is my life?
Where can I rummage it?
In that particular profession!
Or in another phase of my life!
Drenched in Incertitude
And you say "life is how it is"?

I salivate to turn it over
I lust for creating my own world
Where I can flaunt whole world
Meeting everyone green-eyed,
Just to live my world, and
Bawl on top of my lungs
That "life can be different"
And it counts on yourself.

Winds of Change

Humanity trudges an abject path,
falters and deteriorates with wrath.
Whirling winds press us onward to the end,
destroying our dreams, too mangled to mend.

Our goals once optimistic, full of hope,
now cast aside; we’re unable to cope.
Thrumming winds thrusting us roughly along,
hopelessly to where we ought not belong.

What power can fetch us from our foul fate?
What champion can engage and abate
whooshing winds that boldly bluster full force? 
What hero will accept our deep remorse?

God can whisper the winds to alter course.
The Winds of Change – He is our saving source.

A Photograph

A Photograph
By: Miracle Man
August 19, 2020

Each picture, is a record of a moment in time,
that likely we’ll share, as our life unwinds.
Though physical presence deteriorates by grime,
it’s securely tucked away in our minds.

Goodbye

How do I decide when it’s time to say goodbye?
 The rose tinted contacts of love
Stain my vision as I struggle to decipher
The difference between what I want, 
And what I truly need…

Am I really ready to say goodbye 
To the warmth of his touch,
Or the feeling of eternal attachment
That plagues my heart everytime I see him? 
Would I be ludicrous to walk away
From the peaceful time we share under the sunset
And the unparalleled content his presence gifts me?
The internal highs just embroider my soul
With everlasting joy,
and really makes consider
If it's really the time to say goodbye…

Maybe it’s time to say goodbye,
When the highs aren’t high enough
To balance the overwhelming grief
Of the lowest lows.
The consistency of his hurtful words
Slowly chip away at the shield of
My blind infatuation,
And deteriorates the seemingly imperishable adoration
I’ve felt up until this point.
So although there will always be love
That will last the test of time…--

I Think it's time, I finally say goodbye… :/

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