If,
And only if,
I find the courage,
To bare feelings for,
You,
I would hate,
Myself,
Cut my wrist,
Left,
To write,
Until the blood,
Until the ink,
Bleeds,
Spills,
On the paper,
That I express my feelings on,
The paper,
Where people shall soon read,
And judge,
The paper,
That will hold my last period.
Where am I? Where do I begin?
Every day I seem to have a sin
Where am I? I ask you now
How do I replace my body and face somehow?
I cannot look in the mirror cause all I see
Is this blob and ugly all around me
I just close my eyes and put my hands on my face
Tears is all that I do replace
I keep quiet and let people run my life
I really want to be someone's wife
But my illness gots a hold of me
I just hope my man and I can be
Where am I? Why do I hide?
I know I got him by my side
Where am I? What do I do?
I just got to stop and think through
I got to look deep inside my heart
somethings missing but where do I start
How do I change to get the strength
Should I turn my heart to faith
I keep quiet and let my feelings burn
I know someday that I will learn
I keep my feelings locked in a shell
Why do I feel low and cannot tell?
Where am I? Why do I hate myself for real?
I know somehow I coup and deal
Where am I? I hope to face
My depression I wish I could erase!!
Rachel Thibeault
Jan. 2011
I live with a needle and thread
U live with a gun to your head
I try to keep my feelings outside
And you put your feelings in suicide
My life has just begun
And yours has ended with the rise of the sun
Angels watch over me today
While they come here to take you away
You chose dark
And i chose light
You chose sad
While i chose delight
Ive wanted to be gone
And not to return
But i never chose it
For i have learned
If i die nothing is solved
Because my life would soon evolve
But if i take this ugly rope
To show i have lost all hope
Nothing will change for me
I would hurt my friends and family
I chose strength
While you chose weakness
I see the sun
And you see darkness
My hopes for this letter
Is something good
To make someones choice a little bit better
Because you know i would
Dont think for a second, i dont care
I may not know you
But ill always be there
No matter what you do
So this poem isn't about you
what do you do
when your world is falling down
when you have nothing to do
and no purpose for anything
and smile only
to hide your feelings
2 steps forward
3 steps back
washing your feelings away
in a long endless bath
no i dont do anything bad
except in my thoughts
but im a good person
except my feelings are raw
i can take all the pain
but only for so long
yes im a good person
still my feelings remain raw
~Brittany Amsden~
Feelings mute soul torn my heart can tell a million stories my mind only a thousand
No one Knows the sorrows of my soul, pain, anger, and frustration building up inside with out
a soul knowing the feelings i have.
The things i feel the things i think about no one will ever know, to the grave i will take
them. Not wanting people to know about me, through my writing is the only way you will
seek my true soul.
Rummaging thru a shoe box filled with paper, each page a note of thoughts and feelings all
jumbled together. I pick thru them looking for one good feeling, one ray of hope, but
thoughts are in bold blood red letters triggering a cascade of feelings of dread and dispare,
so many negatives so few positives. I begin to feel hollowed out this is to much of a task to
file each one away, unable to get away from the terror of myself.
There's so many words
That describe how I feel.
Pain, love and hate
And the crying is all real.
My feelings everyday
Are lost and loneliness.
Invisibility
And hollow emptiness.
I'm misunderstood,
Unwanted and unloved.
I'm waiting here for you
To finally show me love.
I'm hidden in the dark.
Wounded and confused.
Broken and betrayed
From all their misuse.
I'm inadequate
To everyone around.
Bleeding form the hurt
And dying in the ground.
I'm stupid and forgotten
And most of all I'm dead.
These feelings everyday
Are mostly what I dread.
©2009 ~FR34K0N4L345H33
Sometimes I wonder why I am here,
I grow tired of the fighting to survive.
Death is something sometimes I don’t fear.
There is pain inside,
But I don’t want anyone to see.
To myself my true feelings I confide.
A fake smile takes the place of the emptiness,
That way no one will know.
I surround them with pleasantness.
Overwhelming feelings make me want to explode,
They rush in like a flood,
I try to stay rationale, but the grip I can’t hold.
Nothing is done right,
Guilt, Shame, What else do I have to face?
Just wanting to disappear to some other place.
Taking something sharp across the skin,
Pain takes over and the blood runs.
Sorry but this is the only way that I can win.