Absolute
by Frank Daub
I have always dealt -- in absolutes.
I was educated in this way.
The greatest Man who ever lived
knew NIGHTIME -- from the day.
An absolute stands timelessly
above the doubt –
and tall.
Yet those who will not understand
Reject truth as a wall.
On a pedestal of likes and fame,
She built her own, perfect game.
She curates a world of flawless grace,
A single smile on a perfect face.
She wears the crown of filters and light,
The final girl in a digital night.
She scrolls through screens with practiced hand,
And sees the users across the land.
But feels no joy, no true delight,
Just coldness in the pale blue light.
For in her heart, polished stone,
She thinks she did it all alone.
The mirror's glass, a phone's bright gleam,
Shows the star of every stream.
She cannot falter, cannot fail,
And won't engage in a real-world tale.
She builds her brand with every post,
And scorns the ones who matter most.
But in her soul, a hollow ache,
For all the realness she won't take.
The empty comments, the silent scroll,
The woman who has lost control.
The queen of feed, and yet of none,
Beneath a cold and lonely sun.
The mirror used to be my friend;
Alas, those days have reached the end.
I see my face and can’t pretend
I’m anything but old.
I guess it’s me beneath the skin
That wrinkles somehow settled in
And make-up couldn’t quite begin
To spin this straw to gold.
My earrings still remain in place
And, just like always, frame my face,
But time will not let me erase
Its firm, relentless hold.
Yet I’m still in the living game.
The hand that I’ve been dealt I’ll claim
And, though I don’t look quite the same,
I’m not prepared to fold.
We all must play the hand we’re dealt
And many folks’ve surely felt
That most unfairly they’ve been whacked
By cards that somehow have been stacked.
Still, there are those that rise above
And focus on the things they love,
While others flounder first, then sink.
(There must be more of those, I think.)
Yet as the game of life plays out,
The future always filled with doubt,
Some winners lose and losers win,
For that’s the way it’s always been.
'Foggy' location seeds were from, curiosity won
Five months later, wanderer from roof tall trellis hung
Violet globe pods were bitter but oddly addictive
Several dozen daily dose, sour juice inflicted
Soon supplied smoothie zing, purple milk vibrant
Irresistible, the youth inducing effect they provided
A year after planting, I'd positively lost ten
Face entering wrinkle free twenties again!
Friends amazed by results of youth fruit blessed
After eighteen short months, I appeared adolescent
Freely sharing my vivacious treacherous discovery
From her desirable rewinding hand, no recovery
Benjamin Button's slow motion journey ridiculed
- My eight year old routinely tucks me into bed!!
9th August 2020
Obeying any moral law,
reason wills unto itself
To play the game the way its staged
—all freedom thusly dealt
(Villanova Pennsylvania: May, 2019)
I ain’t no phoney
Just full of bologna (E)
Doing the fifth step
Will keep me Kept
Doing inventory
Kinda like a story
Humbling myself
Feels like nothing else
Asking for help
So I can play the cards Dealt
People tell me to try and be happy
and for them I try
yet how can I
What ways can I
I'm drowning in the cards
Karma dealt to me
I can't drown out the noises, the voices
the candle that burned out
from the overdose of a thousand lies
The wind can't appreciate a moment alone
the last night I had to say goodbye
I had to close the wounds before
the drainage started
Forget everything
Yours to hold, nothing more than a misconception
Agitation of the abbreviations
my reward for sacrificing myself
putting everyone else first instead of myself
My reward is a chain of misery
pain and suffering
I can hear the talk
but I'll walk over the edge
without a splat cause I hate it like that
Trap me in a room with anybody that hates me
and I'll be an animal in a cage
full of rage and hate
Too late for me to change
can't hold me
Rather be under a shady tree but shady made me
Despite the hidden rain
despite the look in my eyes
I'm dying on the inside
Diving into the space after midnight
The place where minds are dark and cold
In the moment of true happening
Reality of life with our soul
Finding time to contemplate
Overpowered, a raging of distrust
Holding on for each and every ending
Aware of our own finale of dust
Seeking a soothing to anoint us
To save from inexplicable pain
More time needed in forgiveness
Ourselves as others much the same
I wish that I could find answers
Explanations of all I have felt
This journey that always in struggle
As I wrestle with all I have been dealt
back to all the yesterdays
back to the stack of love letters
written in night's sorrows
to all thouse lovers left behind
back to simple truth of it
back to the one true heart and the knowin
back to your beginnings
play the cards dealt
play like you love the game
even though its the hardest thing you've ever done
play like you believe that romance is a means to an end
that the heart can be brought and paid for
like your true heart can be one of them
cause they will hurt you if you stand apart
if you show your true nature
so play like you love the game
play the cards dealt
it will be in the moonlight
of some none too distant night
you will come upon another soul that sings
come upon another heart that breaths like you do
and you will know
see the truth in the lovin
that its more than some hearts game
that its more than some adventure in the sheets
you will know the hearts song
Everything takes a getting used to
And I’m used to not getting used to things
Almost like things to know I knew
Almost like sleeping... in control of dreams
To be the jacks of all trades
And kings of nothing in all
Rather a king to modestly rate
When jacks of everything were in store
Complaints and grievances are advancing
Given any new way to inevitably expect
As people to be made in narrowed advertising
Did we not but begin to question what is lack?
They do not see but felt
They only feel when its seen
They do not work but its dealt
Who is hardworking... who is keen?
Everyone knows... someone knew
If we only know it all yet... never more
Is there something you’ve gotten used to?
Or perhaps a card already you stand for?
The second time we met, I call him Bob
Just call me Robert was what he replied
We shared model plane flying with the guys
And we all had fun, that can’t be denied
There were words of wisdom, he spoke one day
He didn’t mix words, that’s just how he felt
He was already under Hospice care, when he said
“You’ve got to Play with the Cards you’re Dealt”
A pilot during WW2
His memory was sharp, his recall was clear
He shared past history, during our visits
Occurrences from his Marine career
When those challenges of my life occur
Should thoughts of ‘giving-up’ be sometimes felt
That phrase that Robert said will come to mind
“You’ve got to Play with the Cards you’re Dealt”
Every day’s a card game
And so there’s always hope
Each shuffle of the deck may bring
Just what we need to cope.
Though life is never easy,
People’s challenges may vary
And the cards we’re dealt may seem
Unfairly arbitrary.
There’s comfort, though, in knowing
Others grapple with their hand,
Possibly in ways which we
Could never understand.
Life’s a fickle dealer
So we take the cards we get
And when the deck’s been good to us,
It’s still not safe to bet.
For aces do not guarantee
That things will go our way.
A good luck streak will never keep
Adversity at bay.
We play the hand we’re given
And resort to strength within,
For at times we may get lucky
And just possibly, we’ll win.
I’m rather disappointed with the hand I was dealt
When I was a child the choice was a stick or the belt
I know today that these were just tools
Wisdom can come from the mouths of fools.
It seems today I’ve placed some cards down
Change has arrived without making a sound
The more you have lost the more that can be found
My feet seem to float up right off of the ground.
I don’t know why changes comes so hard
The road should be smoother once it is tarred
The more things remain the more they need change
Even though at first it feels rather strange.
It’s been going so good I think I’ll put down some more
What I don’t know is what the future has in store
To feed all the hungry and give to the poor
This is the kind of change we should endure.
The peace that I feel was always inside
The fear in the world made peace want to hide
It grows like a flower opening up for the sun
As I look at what change really has done.
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