Criminal Record Poems | Examples


I Wish

Wish I was rich,with a family,a wife,no criminal record,no guns,no knives..2 point 4 children,drive a nice car,no dealing in alleys,no propping up bars...family outings,trips to the beach,I feel like im falling,outwards I reach..oneday ill be diffrent,a Completly changed man,no worries,no cares,my life I will plan..
Form: Rhyme

John Doe

Im so tired of being here,walking the streets for cash,people walk past you in a mad dash...you can read their minds,know exactly what they think,I sit on the pavement,in my own thoughts I sink...why do I carry on like this? My family dont care,dont even want me,they dont even miss...sleeping in doorways,without any cover,wet from the elements,no family,no mother...im just a " John Doe"if I end up on that slab,need some more cocaine,just one little dab..wish I was rich,a family,a wife,no criminal record,no bringing my family no strife..Things will be diffrent,I hope and I prey,if not tomorrow,then maybe today!
Form: Rhyme


I'Ll Be Here All Week

*And then, I am finally free from house arrest 
- Which is better news for me than it is for you and your family*


...I am bloodletting
All of my frustration
With a wee-bit 
Of Danbert Nobacon...

...This is what usually happens:
Whenever someone listens 
To the "Unfairy Tale" LP
Backwards 
While sensually drunk 
On homemade LSD...

?...This is also how 
I mistakenly met 
George Harrison 
And Graham Chapman 
While undertaking 
My most recently failed suicide attempt....
...And both they, and Lenny Bruce agreed: 
I probably should have aimed to succeed
If I really wanted anybody 
To ever take my career in comedy 
Any more seriously 
Than my 'highly-underrated' 
Criminal record...
"...Whatever..." I calmly stated 
Before soundly adding 
For all intents and purposes:
"Everyone always neglects to mention:
My criminal record 
Has already gone 
Triple platinum 
In Japan and Sudan"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take the Lead

A girl I know, tells her mother
you destroyed my life
it's all your fault
Argument after argument

Destroys their relationship 
yet her mother 
did not give her drugs
a mother dreams of your success

Her mother did not 
have her break the law
granted her mother
had a drinking problem

That created arguments 
Between parents
Arguments that as a child, 
interfered with her life

Her mother was not perfect
but she herself 
decided to take up drugs
she decided 

To get pregnant 
and have a child
she decided to walk 
away from education

Everyday, she could decide,  
to improve her education,
she could decide to become a nurse aid
she could decide to become a nurse

Granted with a criminal record 
getting work becomes a problem
but her mother did not tell her 
to break the law and destroy your life

Everyday you have the ability 
to change your life
there are people waiting in the wings 
willing to help

but you need to step up and take the lead
get off drugs become clean
build your education and find work
stop blaming others and take the lead
Form: Narrative

Premium Member Fingerprint Failure

Applying for teacher certification
I caused one technician much consternation

My fingerprints had simply not registered
Again and again the test he administered

“Guess you could have had a career in crime,”
He retorted reapplying ink grime

He said this had never happened before
But the results he surely couldn’t ignore

He sent me to an experienced tester
Who made many cracks, joked like a jester

He claimed my blank prints were quite unique
Turned over my hands just to take a peek

The delicate lines could scarcely be seen
And the fingers themselves were awfully lean

“What work do you do?” he asked with a scowl
As he removed the ink with a towel

“I now type 82 words per minute,
Most of my life I’ve been immersed in it"

My helpless fingers were worn to the bone
And my tester let out a mournful groan

Apparently pounding on my keyboard
Had produced an undesired reward

Faint thumbprints revealed no criminal record
And I won an overachiever award

Typing is essential to the work I do
Next time they need prints, I’ll remove my shoes


** True story for the Finger Frenzy contest
Form: Couplet


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