Fingerprint Failure

Applying for teacher certification
I caused one technician much consternation

My fingerprints had simply not registered
Again and again the test he administered

“Guess you could have had a career in crime,”
He retorted reapplying ink grime

He said this had never happened before
But the results he surely couldn’t ignore

He sent me to an experienced tester
Who made many cracks, joked like a jester

He claimed my blank prints were quite unique
Turned over my hands just to take a peek

The delicate lines could scarcely be seen
And the fingers themselves were awfully lean

“What work do you do?” he asked with a scowl
As he removed the ink with a towel

“I now type 82 words per minute,
Most of my life I’ve been immersed in it"

My helpless fingers were worn to the bone
And my tester let out a mournful groan

Apparently pounding on my keyboard
Had produced an undesired reward

Faint thumbprints revealed no criminal record
And I won an overachiever award

Typing is essential to the work I do
Next time they need prints, I’ll remove my shoes


** True story for the Finger Frenzy contest
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010


Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Date: 8/9/2010 8:24:00 AM
Hey Carolyn, so this means I've got to watch my typing speed as well and stay away from my pc as often as possible? Just kidding, this was an awesome one to discover, made me :) enjoy the rest of your Monday, love Wilma
Login to Reply
Date: 6/17/2010 8:30:00 PM
Sounds like a good one Carolyn. Haaaaaaaa! Good luck in the contest, my friend. Agape, Moses
Login to Reply
Date: 6/17/2010 4:56:00 PM
What a fabulous write. Never knew that would do it. What a fast typist too!
Login to Reply
Date: 6/15/2010 8:10:00 PM
That is priceless! What a funny story- I even read it outloud to my husband- You had us both rolling!~Tirzah~
Login to Reply
Date: 6/15/2010 5:21:00 PM
funny poem!!
Login to Reply
Date: 6/15/2010 2:01:00 PM
Very funny Carolyn ! I like this very much ! james
Login to Reply
Date: 6/15/2010 9:03:00 AM
Wonderfully funny write! Congrats on the win. Dan C
Login to Reply
Date: 6/13/2010 7:19:00 PM
" Delicate lines" actually sums up my image of you in my head. Astral projection or fond whimsy?! You did a good job on this and I actually laughed at the life of crime line. Good luck! Regards, Gerard.
Login to Reply
Date: 6/12/2010 6:09:00 PM
82 wpm!! Amazing Carolyn! Haven't done any fingerprinting lately, but mine could be as worn as yours...never knew they could wear out, you know? 60 is my top speed and I can imagine how our fingers complain! Also love the bit of humor at the end!! Another great entry for the "Finger Frenzy Contest! Love, Audrey
Login to Reply
Date: 6/12/2010 5:55:00 PM
oh wow, Carolyn! that's really something I can only hope to even type 40wpm!!! and your last 2 lines sure made me laugh--what is your work btw?? sending you soupmail after this ;) --congrats on your win!--nikko :)
Login to Reply
Date: 6/12/2010 8:45:00 AM
The last line is a beauty Carolyn, what a picture that would be. Many congrats on your win >> James
Login to Reply
Date: 6/12/2010 8:16:00 AM
I would have placed this one higher on the winner's list, Carolyn. I love that last line!!!!! ps....many thanks for the 2nd place in your limerick contest........that was a fun contest, and provided some lighter moments on the Soup page!! thanks so much!! Love, Carrie
Login to Reply
Date: 6/12/2010 6:40:00 AM
Really, what a funny story, Carolyn!!! First my congrats to you on your win. You'll need fingerprints just for a simple application??? That would be impossible here in Germany and nobody would hagree to that. The issue nuew Passports here but a fingerpring is only made if you agree to that! Thank you again for your kind comments...Love, Gert
Login to Reply
Date: 6/11/2010 11:29:00 PM
I liked this one from the beginning. Congrats on your win.
Login to Reply
Date: 6/11/2010 10:58:00 PM
Congrats on your success in my contest with this true to life story .. appreciate your support of my contest.. with luv.. Linda-Marie..
Login to Reply
Date: 6/11/2010 2:59:00 PM
Haha, what a cute story. Got a good laugh out of that one. Best of luck in the contest.
Login to Reply
Date: 6/11/2010 10:30:00 AM
I just love it. Some of those testers need to be tested themselves. They should be given one of a different kind; if you know what I mean? Great job! Joseph
Login to Reply
Date: 6/11/2010 3:49:00 AM
Dear Carolyn, Great Write, YOUR POEMS are always so addictive once YOU start reading them YOU have to read it again GOOD LUCK in the contest YOUR Liege ALWAYS...HG
Login to Reply
Date: 6/10/2010 7:00:00 PM
unusual poem .......interesting!
Login to Reply
Date: 6/10/2010 6:13:00 PM
VERY good one, and hey, guess what? In CA, they could not get MY prints either. I had a bad case of exzema. It had somehow made it impossible for them to get a good print on one or two of my fingers!! this was funny for sure!
Login to Reply
Date: 6/10/2010 3:24:00 PM
I understand that the big toe will give you away every time. I'll have you know that I can type 85 words a minute and with only 45 mistakes. Great write, Carolyn. Love, Dave
Login to Reply
Date: 6/10/2010 2:10:00 PM
Excellent Write! Thanks for commenting on my poem "A Tale of the Helpless Child"....well, I agree with you but this event is true and unfortunately, I am the victim...hahaha.... I can't forget that goddamned day... I thought I would die, I was just 5 or 6 years when that happened....I couldn't come out of it for years and I didn't tell that to anyone...and sometimes, your childhood haunts you, no matter how hard you try....so, it came out in this way... :) May God bless all the children!
Login to Reply
Date: 6/10/2010 11:20:00 AM
go ahead, do it. im not a premium member, i dont have the money for it. but i want to spread the word about this child.
Login to Reply
Date: 6/10/2010 10:39:00 AM
I like the last line best. Charles Soup mail back at you
Login to Reply
Date: 6/10/2010 10:35:00 AM
lol.(: thats amazing, you had to be pounding hard for that to happen! i've met someone like you. i swear, this girl beats the keyboard with her fingers like she's angry.haha.i don't think she realizes it. -Always&Forever Lynette
Login to Reply
12
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter