Funny Cow Poems

Hillbillies got a dairy cow and trained it up right
It mooed and bellowed all through the first night
Drank some moonshine and did a crazy petootsie...

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I watched the peaceful cattle stroll
around the pleasant field.
We gain from them both food and milk, 
such benefits they yield.

However, when they eat the grass,...

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I am a cow 
Of course most of you reading this are also cows
But I have heard a rumor that those creatures
Who walk on two...

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Poised on a farm in Carolina
Not labeling yields “made in China”
There lived a cow and goat
With milk they couldn’t promote
Because their best milk caused angina




Funny,...

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Chickens clucking, pecking paths in the dust
Cow bawling for the calf who loves her bust
Turkeys gobbling, heads nodding 
Cats purring, dogs applauding
Farmers heeding, flapping hands...

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Christmas Cow wanted to be a reindeer for sure.
He had a special hat made, and he made his heart pure.
His neighbors thought it was hilarious...

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My chicken has been flickin'
Her feathers in the hay
The cattle waged a battle
In their field the other day
A turkey feeling perky
Jumped up and ran away
Feeling...

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Betsy was quite fickle
A cow who loved her pickle
She ate it with corn
As her calf bawled, forlorn
To be left with only a trickle
Of milk not...

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Crow just flew by
With a cow in its beak
I was afraid to say hi
Afraid of what would happen
It if tried to speak
The cow looked at...

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I went out hunting with my bow 
One day in late September 
It's hard to recall all my trips 
But this one I remember 

Sitting...

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She was faster than a rattlesnake
She could split a log in two
She was better than any hand
I think I ever knew

She was famous all throughout...

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A Cow Entered Politics,
Retired as a Buffalo.

A Cow Entered Pakistan,
Ended up Cooked.

A Cow Entered America,
Her Visa Revoked.

A Cow Entered North Korea,
Kim Jong-un Drank all the...

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I think my MOO MOJO has let me down
that HE bull, Morris, just grunts and frowns
he doesn't even glance around
when I pass by, I'm just...

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We bought a cow at the state fair 
and loaded her on the truck
to take her home, but halfway there
we had a stroke of good...

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Lazy Cow
Dr. James E. Martin
©May, 2013

The cow loved to chew her cud
As she lay in the cooling mud.
She was lazy you see,
As lazy as could...

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