It was constipation, you know
All of the bananas she ate were alarming
Then a bit of cheese, brought her to her knees
All the little faces she made were so charming
It was constipation, you know
Eating all that sugar and fast food will do that
And too much white bread, brings it to a head
It got to the point, she was ready to chew fat
It was constipation, I know
I was staying with her and that’s all she fed me
Drinking all that cow, played a part and how
Now I guess we both better lay off that red meat!
Heed the words I’ve said, we are both half dead
and now constipation lies ahead
To the tune of ‘Fascination” by Nat King Cole
Categories:
constipation, food, fun, humor, parody,
Form: Lyric
More blockage from the king of thrones.
A pencil needed to clear those stones.
My good friend Jan she can relate.
Her toilet hack will sure negate.
Plugged up tighter than a drum.
He screams in pain for everyone.
The drama from the porcelain throne.
Please shut the door to be alone.
Privacy now is yours to have.
Behind closed doors the bitter half.
A pencil slid under the crack.
Tread lightly for the next attack.
Up yours friend to find relief.
More roughage is a fine belief.
An apple a day or so they say.
Will keep your constipation at bay.
Categories:
constipation, humor,
Form: Rhyme
A professor has published his thesis
On removal of impacted faeces
Use the end of a pencil
Or a kitchen utensil
to dislodge clumps of faeces in pieces!
Told you it was a crap poem!
05/14/20
Categories:
constipation, body, humorous,
Form: Limerick
have you seen the new movie
Constipation - yet?
of course not, it's not out yet
Contest No 470
Sponsored By Brian Strand
7-23-2018
Categories:
constipation, humorous,
Form: Senryu
I'm on a roll, no stopping me now
It would give me a hernia, holy c-c-cow
Stuff would seize up
My butt would slam shut
Poetic constipation it would surely fall-ow
Categories:
constipation, poetry,
Form: Limerick
Constipation is an extremely shitty word
I don't usually use it, I usually use turd
Must keep it sophisticated
Some might be listening
To this conversation besides the P-Soup herd
Categories:
constipation, silly,
Form: Limerick
Pregnancy is constipation
enjoyable and admirable
monopolized by women
never sharing by men
no bribery to get one
a cool sickness it is
no bacterial infection
In nine months of constipation
victim replicates happily
own piece of wriggling flesh
and the constipation vanishes
Constipation comes with choice
but can be imposed as well!
eating through test-tube it comes
the potential patient feels good
asking for more, more and more
But when the time comes to rid it
lamentations, curses, regrets are heard
patient weeps without tears
when done, celebrations erupt
Categories:
constipation, life, metaphor, social,
Form: Free verse
An alter in an altercation? No. That is merely the result of a lemon fruited display of a quite fruity pie. Or could it be an orbital orange? Or lake of lime? In time digestions of peas is quite charismatic when absorbed with the milk of a leaf. But categorizing caterpillars is just not wise. Wood pigeon wood pigeon woo woo woo. And the clap of a shaft from an otherwise dormant cave. Fringe of a bag is the shroud of a hag and a hag is neither a coat, nor a cousin. Nor is it a beetle belly flopping in a nine acre pond. Dip dab dip then. Erotic notifications of a zenith steel stew. Such rambunctious ramifications and a ram baaa baaaa baaaaaa. Wow. Quite fascinating isn't it? Really. Compose not a compost. And graze no gravel. How eradicated. How interesting. Hahahahaha carrots can can . No hahaha but hahaha to frozen flowers imported from Dubai. Capital airport with a p y q. Under umbrellas view. Style. Xxxxx constipation z c v b z z z m
Categories:
constipation,
Form: I do not know?
Constipation!
Such consternation
A work in progress
So much left unsaid…
Fragments of angst
Long standing wiles
With nothing but cold tiles
But when it works
All progress is swift
Everything said, comprehension is clear
Tension is freed and
All qualms ignored
Bodily function is restored
Lambs flinging about in joy
Hallelujah!
22 Nov. 2014
Categories:
constipation, fun, giggle, hope,
Form: Free verse
On our first serious date; he grew excited
and I was primed to knock my guy off his feet.
Spending hours on the right dress, all horrid
Till a feathery wardrobe popped from the closet.
Yes! This dress will hit the roof…top-rated;
lined with plumes from neck down mid-thighs.
Upstairs, my mood claimed I must stay decorated
trying latest trends in beauty makeover,
armed with lipsticks, false lashes and gloss shaded.
The long wait made him quite frustrated
so, Mom served cream pie to ease the tension.
Forcing him to nap while I polish a vogue look,
never wore make-up, now I was fully painted.
I stepped down with new face truly elated
he woke up from my “hello”, and trembled.
Gee, I knew the male Richter scale zoomed 8!
Flaunting my hairdo, thick with mousse… inflated.
“I’m sorry, Ted, for being late, you really waited.”
He froze. He croaked, as if he saw an ostrich,
Squeezing his arm to ensure our date well handled!
“But, I can’t go, the burps; errr..the pie,” he cited.
“My tummy‘s acting up; I’m constipated!”
Vienna's Smile , You're In Candid Camera
by nette onclaud
Categories:
constipation, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend,
Form: Rhyme
Without any hesitation
I must reach my destination
I don't have an explanation
No time for conversation
I'll need all my concentration
As I plan my evacuation
With just a minor complication
I'm in need of medication
I'll need all my dedication
To ignore this aggravation
But out of desperation
And hours of deprivation
I come to the realization
That it's only constipation
Categories:
constipation, funny
Form: Monorhyme