When you tell me your doing
something, and don't
Is that a lie?
I feel deceived, in not what you
did
But in what you failed to own.
Feeling hurt, I wonder why
Was that the truth,
Is that a lie?
Deserving more than in my
youth.
Are you unthoughtful, can that
be?
I've been here waiting
Were you here, is that a lie?
Are you my friend, or are we
dating?
Understanding escapes me now
Your hiding something I feel
Thinking you wanted me, is
that a lie?
Promises you never broke, or
was that the deal.
A loving person, I think you are
But you never used that word
Saying things about marriage,
is that a lie?
Listening to you, I feel absurd
I have two things to give to you
My heart and my time
Did you waste both of them, or
is that a lie?
You didn't ask for either of
them, what did you find?
I ignored a few small signs
Thought nothing of them
Is your deception real, is it a
lie?
Omission is no small sin.
how can simplicity, be
complicated
how can strain, be loosened
how can hurt, be made to feel
good
how can you cry, and turn into
a monster
how can you say ''i love you'',
and dump me
how can you live, when your
dying inside
how can you expect me
to know you, without
communicating things to me
how can i open up to you, when
i think you'll be disgusted and
run
how can intimacy be achieved,
when your true self is locked
away inside you
how can you want me and say
you don't want a relationship
with me
how can we be soulmates,
without a solid frienship
how can you know these
things, when i can't figure
myself out either
how can you just give up on us,
when you never gave us an
honest chance
how is all i wanted, to know
Some things are sent to try us
That's how the saying goes
But some things like to try too
hard
And so the problem grows.
A problem shared is a problem
halved
Another timeless one
But what to do, when you feel
bad
And all the sharings done?
God give me strength
Is one that makes me laugh
Because wouldn't it be nice
If we only had to ask?
So how do we deal with
problems
When we can't see the wood
for the trees?
Do all the bad things, like the
good
Always come in threes?
Good things in small packages
So bad things in the big?
You'll only get in deeper
If all you do is dig.
Don't fix it if it's not broken
But your broken isn't mine.
How do these sayings work
If we don't fall in line?
All we need is people
Those that really care
Because then you don't need
cliches
Just a moment that is spare.
Where is the part that I've loss,
Was it real or was it false.
Could it be me or another lie,
It's eating me till I wish to die.
A sad shadow of what was,
I tryed but it wasn't enough.
Claiming what is left of me,
Always fighting to be free.
The truth is the emptiness
Within that causes me to miss;
A kiss, and the bliss of love.
An all to known part of;
A root, a part of my heart;
Drops and falls to peices.
Hope, a vellain to the crisis.
I'm lost in the dark, alone
With the silenced cries, moans;
Flown away with what was best.
See this is all that was left!
Attests to another test from God,
Wasn't passed on, so spoil the rod.
I confess the rest, till I regress,
But this pain never seem to be less.
I guess, I'll suffer and never be free,
This world took the best of me...
As camera's flashed my flesh; behind she sat,
Looming grooming, haunting the picture took.
Seducing shadows everywhere I'm at,
Shown as a shadow in my picture book.
My dreams are dark, dire, distant and damned,
With her persona passionate thine plague.
My pulse the pressure on my pillow jammed,
Her voice the whisper pushed pressing thine leg.
Moon marriages across stars mystic map,
Moves me under this atmospheric night.
Haunted by horrors my heart hurts to clap,
To free fears forces forbids me to fight.
My life a passage passing prying poles,
Seeking to not subdue to Satan's soul's.
To my eyes that befriends assumptions art,
Of seeing what the mind wants me to see,
Blink now and tell me that my lover's heart,
Will not wander and walk away from me.
Bitter beyond beliefs, her heart I blame,
Of breathing thoughts; romance with other men.
Giving my all, gambling this guilty game...
A sin with-in I'll never seem to win.
Flowers of April showers fall to grass,
As franticly I frown myself the fool.
Yet after years would grow upon the glass,
She would reveal her dark unfaithful wool.
Now numb and void, I always will perceive,
To be or not to be what I believe.
Sleep
Another night another sleepless
night,
But sleep is only so far away
right?
Sleep! I desire you come close
my eyes.
Deliver me to extacy! I'll fly!
Till morning light breaks my
curtains small gaps
Waking my cat so she leeps
from my lap
Causing me to stir and wake
from my peace
But in order to get there
thoughts must cease
And I just might finally get
some sleep.
Rose
I loved you with my heart and soul,
You gave me your heart for me to
hold,
I cherished you && needed you,
when I called you always came
through,
but it wasn't so perfect because I
had a temper,
I took my anger out on you from
what I had remembered,
The last had destroyed me so hard
&& I couldn't risk me whole,
yet I tried && I didn't want you to
let me go,
Sadly you did && I was miserable,
it took me this long to realize I was
terrible,
I apologize over && over trying get
words from you,
You moved on && I'm trying to too,
I quite happy again now but I
sometimes ask myself why,
if it hurt so deeply why couldn't I
cry?
God only knows...
Though some were shocked, inclined to scold,
“The dress you wear is much too bold.”
My Grandma smiled and calmly said,
“Grandpa liked me dressed in red.
This is the day we honor him.
Forgive me if I scorn the prim
and proper way in mourning dress,
though you may not agree, I guess.
I like the way It makes me feel
as my true colors I reveal.
Today I wear this scarlet hue
for Grandpa and self and not for you.
He has no vote now that he’s dead,
but Grandpa liked me dressed in red.”
Is there such thing as happily ever after?
What a mess I have created
Is this mess worth the price I'd pay
to find happily ever after
Already proved I ain't much of a father
Can I just walk away?
Can I live a life
with only seeing half of you play?
Only see you on the weekends
would you still love me the same?
So scared if these feelings
Might be nothing more than pain
Is there such thing as happily ever after?
What a mess I have created
Is this mess worth the price I'd pay
to find happily ever after
Sick of getting kicked in the teeth
even if its to put me my place
Some times I take out my pain
Can't stand to look at your face
All these years of biting my tongue
All these years of holding back
All this time spend wondering
Can I keep this train on the track
Is there such thing as happily ever after?
What a mess I have created
Is this mess worth the price I'd pay
to find happily ever after
fester-whatsoever, was that,
my pen wasn't that ken,
many a times I stand to write,
but weak I feel and felt no to..
days came with no words
I slept all night thinking;
and yet couldn't see.
why was I a poet,
by the way I failed English;
you made me a firm, when you knew me not.
what good have I wrote you see right,
was that by words, I mean by such in your sight
I lamed by you if could make be, in my dream.
Look at me
Look at me in your moments of despair;
Look at me in your moments of loneliness;
life is not easy life is not fair
I can bring you peace and I can bring you happiness
Look at me in your moments of sorrow;
Look at me in your moments of joy;
I am yours today and i want to be yours tomorrow
life is also worth to be enjoyed.
Look at me in your waking hour,
Look at me playing in the rain,
I will be your humble tower.
I'm alive thanks to you releasing my awful pain
Look at me when your in need
as i will be there to help you lead
So I hummbly ask of thee
to accept this poem as one's victory
grandmother
if there are roses in heaven
will you send one down just for me
so i can hold it close to my heart
where you will always be
i will lay it on my pillow each night
as the angels tuck me in
i will now that you are near me and feel your pressence once again
i am thankful for all the years you were there to help me through
Yesterday, yes; yester-day
A poem paid me a brief visit
It was the greatest poem that man ever wrote and read
Greater than Desiderata and The Path Not Taken
It’d have made you cry and laugh in painful pleasure
It’d have negotiated with my gnawing poverty
It’d have endeared me to my future mother of our children
It’d have fetched me modest and kind In-laws
Off it flew!
And left me with vague shadows
Of skeletal memories
The fire is burning deep in my skin
but it don't hurt
I feel the warmth but it's not fun
wanna tear my skin
take it off
cool off in this ocean of souls
one was enough but I don't know how many
Now it's wearing me out
until I'm gone
I wanna do it again, well for now
I'm falling deeper and deeper in hell
but it's a hell I love and a hell I'll keep
for it loves me and I it
getting out will drag me down
Losing all is fine
The Dolls I have to keep
summer loves me best
sweating out the moon
at night creatures crawl
talking in there tongues
all I understand
as ghosts wait to go to sleep
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