Clem Poems | Examples

I Saw God But Now What

That hot afternoon when the winds were shy, 
The Earth froze and the birds refused to fly, 
I sat on the soft cold cushion of the green, 
Looking on and on...The scene, so serene,
The trees drooped, bowing to a mighty being,
The birds, in their nests, as if to wait and sing, 

The clouds cuddled and a light pierced them,
Two eyes, the figure spoke, made me clem,
I remember darkness and a sudden light,
I woke on the same hillside, asked my sight,

"
Was it? 
Rather a figment of my deepest dreams,
Or an unimaginable, haunting reality?
No it can't be..... No it can't be! 
No it can't be......... NO IT CAN'T BE!!!!
"

Today I still sit here on the barren hillside, 
Waiting and waiting and waiting.......
If it was true, 
To witness it again and,
If only a dream ,
To prove myself wrong and be free,

But as I wait I still got nothing,
Only thought still resides,

"
I met God and I saw his face, but 
Now What?
"

Oddest Cats In Church

They are the oddest cats in church the toms agree
We secretly nicknamed them the fluffy high-haired three 
Their hair is odd, cotton-candy fluffy, colored like spun sugar too
They stand around giving us come hither looks said Tom named Lou

I was highly interested in knowing which ones they were said Clem.
When I turned I instantly understood which ones were them. 
They looked like they had cotton candy stuck all over their heads. 
This guess was made by my outgoing cousin Fred who takes meds.

Maybe a Christmas Story

Spook settled in for an October night
It was brisk and breezy; it felt just right
The pumpkins were sitting within sight
A scary story! Said the littlest, Light.

About carving pumpkins? Spook asked them.
No! Much too scary said his cousin Clem.
About witches and bats? And ghouls then?
Maybe a Christmas story said scaredy cat Mim.

Nothing Good Ever Happenss

Mistress Clem collected a variety of rose quartz.
She knew the value of the gem’s properties.
Rose quartz will bring you love and family.

Did It work?
Of course not! She snapped at me.
I never expected it to.

I thought you had a date.
He would not have worked out.
I cancelled it.

Nothing good ever happens to me.
People are always doing me wrong.
My life is a swirl in God’s toilet bowl.

I wondered if rose quartz had ever worked this hard in her life.

Lucinda Is Ready To Party

Lucinda dressed up in her fanciest bluest most satiny dress.
It had flounces and ruffles, creases that gave her a caress.
She was in her party finery, sitting still, waiting for her guest.
Her collie, Labrador and Scotty dog gave barking a small rest.

They will be here any second, she assured her puppy friends.
The doggy brigade sat patiently, doing cartwheels and knee bends.
Lucinda was disappointed, for no humans appeared that day.
Each had an excuse about why they had to go away.

It’s those dogs, her mother said. No one wants to be around them.
Lucinda did not understand this, so she spoke to cousin Clem.
Your pups don’t like us, he told her. They only like one person – you.
No one wants to eat with dogs, it makes us nervous, Lu.

Interviewee In Trouble

A question like a ramrod
Could an interviewee hit like rod:
For The Recklessly Unprepared 
And the sure disaster prepaid…

As question waits for the rare gem,
Heard slight noises a big problem,
The smashed fist on his face Emblem, 
At long last, Gem turning a Clem 

“God, why didn’t I a lot read?
On me interviewers’ eyes feed!” 
“I know there is Morocco 
But funny it sounds: Sirocco!”

Only able to keep his smiles
But soon they read into it wiles.
Just for eyes no longer focused 
A mind wrestling With The Discussed…


“Thank you, Young Man; you’ll hear from us 
And make sure you try The Best Bus.

Five Haunted Men

Like The Cows in Joseph’s Dream
That garroted ones of gleam,
Five were disturbingly gaunt,
As I recalled in a jaunt: 
Blissful walk to a park
For a promised beer by Mark:
Men marine spirits did haunt
But still did me badly taunt,
Never ceasing to hearts vaunt
That they would Marine Types daunt…

“No! Don’t voice that,” I warned them,
Eyeing the one who was Clem
Repeatedly telling him
“Marine Spirits are dead grim!”
To often hold back a claim
That could, for life, make one lame:
My Appeasement of Spirits,
Whose calming is not by bits.

Animals Clean Dishes With Their Tails

Left with the dishes the animals used their tails.
They used their scratchy tongues and they used their nails.
Which would be okay if some had not had rabies.
The hen had chicken pox and the fox had scabies.

They were irritated that the washing landed on them.
So, they did the worst job, I heard from Uncle Clem.
They never wanted to wash human dishes again.
This was told to me by my little Cousin Jim.

Jim is Clem’s son, and their stories are often big lies.
I discovered later this was a lie too; no big surprise.
But I have another cousin who showed me these Pix.
So now I don’t know if it is true or one of their tricks.

Kerosene Queue Worries

Where’s the paid watcher of my Jerry can
And who the hell just bounded it off,
My face now a hotter frying pan,
Never to learn how to absorb a bluff?

Lame excuses I don’t fail a wheel chair 
And their givers try to not spare:
These days’ lies changed like robes
By lips doubly sure no listener probes...
Because kerosene is involved
And its worries not easily solved...
Tales in powder soaked to veil their rashes,
No recalls of Dust to Dust, Ashes to Ashes…

 Should I forget haven woken up at 4:00 AM
For a heart gladdening position in a snaky queue
And the pains taken to phone a Clem 
For my Jerrycan to be preceded by just a few
Stiff-necked, refusing a morning bath
After picking the consequences from Simple Math?

The Howling Ghost

He stubbed his toe, the elders said.
He is howling and wailing to wake the dead.
He is not a werewolf, I argued with them.
He is a ghost, my little cousin, Clem.

He is being ridiculous the uncles roared.
Their blood pressure was up, it truly soared.
We cannot get him to quit screaming Aunt Tootie reported.
I did what I had to do to get this conversation aborted.

He is a GHOST I told them all sternly and mean.
This whole thing is a really implausible scene.
Because, you weirdos, think farther than your nose.
There has never been a ghost who had any toes!

Kadidlehopper's Burger Whoppers

Clem Kadidlehopper had two whoppers,
Two burgers with the works may be stoppers,
Double meat, egg, beetroot, tomato and cheese,
For a burger connoisseur this could only please,
No problem for Clem and his great big choppers.


alternate last line:  Clem woofed them down with his great big choppers.

A Marriage Made In Heaven

Poor Clem was hanging off the shed rafters,
His angry outback wife strutting underneath,
" You've gotta come down some time Clem,"
Said angry Etta through grinding teeth.

"I've never heard of anything so despicable,"
Poor Clem was hanging on in dreaded fear,
"You think you know a man so well,
Then he goes and takes your beer."

Clem Potts and the Moon

CLEM POTTS AND THE MOON

not a pleasant sound
combining potts with the moon,
but, farm girls had learned
clem potts, in his rustic way,
was quite the village dreamer

lord of the haystack,
when the field was night-flooded,
the cows all asleep,
was he crooning his love theme -
clem potts, wily moon-schemer

her name, clara june
was the prettiest filly 
with clem all aswoon
she’d met clem potts at the fair
where he’d won the ‘dog-eat’ fest

forty chili dogs
the last one nearly come up
he could still taste it
the beans, the hot tomatoes
belch without puke, the test

and, by god, he’d won,
had staved off hurl tornado
stored the big rumble
that churning away inside
mixed with green bile and the rest

he was quoting keats -
the moon-streaked straw in her hair -
thinking not those chili dogs,
about to brush clara’s cheek,
bent on a roll in the hay

clem said, “i love you.”
lord when lips formed the last word
clem’s gut did a flip
and the poor young clara june
turned blue from the blast, then gray



If your name is Potts I must apologize, so too if Clara June.

Clem

Watching the elephants parade nearby.
The glitter began to cascade down.
All the little children waited the call.
The circus had finally come to town.

Clem the clown waltzed in with a broom.
He squirted himself with a bouquet flowers.
Pulling out a nine foot patchwork hankie.
Cheers of joy gave him magical powers.

Of all the dreams that he held.
In the palm of his gloved hand.
Without a smile of utter joy.
He fell down in sync with the band.

Make-up so sad what tragedies did he hold.
A little girl inched closer to know the truth.
Wanting to ask, why do you frown? 
She shyly smiled showing a missing tooth.

Clem extended his hand with a graceful bow.
Coming up, displaying paper flowers with care.
Giving them to her with a little wink.
She took them proudly, with a nervous stare.

Speechless, she stood by in complete awe.
Clem walked away with a quick grin.
She watched as if a movie star went by.
Oh to be so young, sweetly innocent again.

Our Favorite

When he had control of the remote I could get out of sorts
I preferred the dramas and he wanted only sports.

But on one type of programming we could usually agree.
We both got a big laugh from good old-time comedy. 

Jack Benny, Eddie Cantor, and Jackie Gleason jokes abounded.
Lucy and Gracie’s antics kept Desi and George astounded. 

These were comedies we could watch without getting a red face,
Unlike the vulgar stuff today that is not worth the space.

But there was one special fellow that we both simply adored.
He played so many characters that we were never bored.

There was Clem Kadiddlehopper and Freddie the free loader.
Gertrude and Heathcliff were seagulls. Red just kept getting bolder.

The last time we sat together and laughed until we cried
Was only a short time before my darling husband died.

Red was playing Santa in a silly Christmas spoof.
He kept crawling towards the chimney and sliding down the roof.

It was the last time we laughed together as amused husband and wife,
One Red Skelton episode I’ll remember the rest of my life.

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