werewolf central arrived in the form of an army
these soldiers were bulky, hairy and swarthy
we were terrified, since we are much smaller than them
Don’t be fearful said an old werewolf Clem
We did not come to harm, we came to save
We do not believe that anyone should be a slave
That night the werewolf militia saved us all
Halloween night in 1992, October, the fall
We owed them a debt of gratitude
Wanted to feed them, but they weren’t in the mood
Good thing since they are voracious carnivores.
They leapt away, each one on all fours.
There once was a man named Clem
Who had copious amounts of phlegm
To his consternation
This sticky situation
Happened again and again and again.
what is he rolling up the road? a child asked them.
We snickered and hollered and hooted, said his Uncle Clem
What do you think it is? Aunt Marta threw in with a bit of glee
For of course it was poo, him being a dung-beetle see.
Dracula cats were in the alley that night
they had died in the fifties, and were quite a sight
the rest of the felines were terrified of them
they are devil worshippers, said my cousin Clem
I had no idea if this was true or not
But they looked evil to me, said my Aunt Polka Dot
I got a bad vibe from them both and refused to come out
They paraded up and down the alley, dancing all about.
Mrs Peeck and husband Clem
provide refuge from my family home
No hugs but felt the love
had no children of their own
Afternoon tea of homemade bread
blackcurrant jam and scalded cream
Home grown fruits preserved in Fowlers jars
a meal at night, silver beet was cooked with steam
Unannounced I'd come to stay
overnight a comfy bed
Dream about old cars and bellows
found in Clems machinery shed
Next day home made lunch was packed
down the hill backto school through long blades of grass
Mrs Peeck we'd ask her age
a question that she'd always pass
Footnote: For those who are interested there is an on line recipe for scalded cream (clotted cream)
The cream I refer to was from a house cow milked by hand
baby Frankenstein did not get an invite
all of his cousins did, so this did not feel right
But what about me? He asked, thinking he was left out!
There he is! A goblin said, three others gave a shout.
Baby Frankenstein was terrified and ran away from them.
Wait up! Wait up! Stop! Yelled his vampire cousin Clem.
They had been trying to give him his invite, it had come back to the host.
His heart was beating extra fast when he was caught by a tiny ghost.
every morning, I look at the top of my tall oak tree
expecting to see an ebony puma staring at me
his front paws draped over the crux of a limb
if he is a male, I shall name him Clem
Every morning, I look up there in anticipation
Hoping the big guy will meet my expectation
It has not happened, but I resolve to keep an eye out.
He’ll be there one of these days, I have no doubt.
Positively Preposterous Puckheads...STILL!!!
Boy! They sure don't drive no Coupe DeVille.
My wife dragged me here against my will,
I just, Touched Down! in Palookaville!
Her Uncle Buck, buck-teethed and busted bunions,
Always smelled just a bit like onions.
He'd cuss me out while eating Funyuns!
Yep, that Codger's one big Curmudgeon!
Aunt Tildy, wore garters with lace tassels,
Bought lavender soap by the passels!
Had dreams of Knights at White Castles,
And she tells my wife, I'M the ASSLE!
Cousin Clem, I call him "Phlegm," ain't right in the head!
He's thirty-five! and still wets the bed!
And his folks still wonder why he's not wed!
I don't care what that Doctor Phil said!
Last, but not least, is that beast they call Boo!
That cur must be older than...Twenty-Two!
And bowels!...Man, that mutt sure could poo!
As luck would have it...he spackled my shoe!
Damn! Sun's setting, they're sweating, and I'm stuck here...STILL!!!
Oh Lord, please send me that Coupe DeVille!
I might as well start writing my will!
There's "Nightmares Galore" here in Palookaville!
That hot afternoon when the winds were shy,
The Earth froze and the birds refused to fly,
I sat on the soft cold cushion of the green,
Looking on and on...The scene, so serene,
The trees drooped, bowing to a mighty being,
The birds, in their nests, as if to wait and sing,
The clouds cuddled and a light pierced them,
Two eyes, the figure spoke, made me clem,
I remember darkness and a sudden light,
I woke on the same hillside, asked my sight,
"
Was it?
Rather a figment of my deepest dreams,
Or an unimaginable, haunting reality?
No it can't be..... No it can't be!
No it can't be......... NO IT CAN'T BE!!!!
"
Today I still sit here on the barren hillside,
Waiting and waiting and waiting.......
If it was true,
To witness it again and,
If only a dream ,
To prove myself wrong and be free,
But as I wait I still got nothing,
Only thought still resides,
"
I met God and I saw his face, but
Now What?
"
They are the oddest cats in church the toms agree
We secretly nicknamed them the fluffy high-haired three
Their hair is odd, cotton-candy fluffy, colored like spun sugar too
They stand around giving us come hither looks said Tom named Lou
I was highly interested in knowing which ones they were said Clem.
When I turned I instantly understood which ones were them.
They looked like they had cotton candy stuck all over their heads.
This guess was made by my outgoing cousin Fred who takes meds.
Spook settled in for an October night
It was brisk and breezy; it felt just right
The pumpkins were sitting within sight
A scary story! Said the littlest, Light.
About carving pumpkins? Spook asked them.
No! Much too scary said his cousin Clem.
About witches and bats? And ghouls then?
Maybe a Christmas story said scaredy cat Mim.
Mistress Clem collected a variety of rose quartz.
She knew the value of the gem’s properties.
Rose quartz will bring you love and family.
Did It work?
Of course not! She snapped at me.
I never expected it to.
I thought you had a date.
He would not have worked out.
I cancelled it.
Nothing good ever happens to me.
People are always doing me wrong.
My life is a swirl in God’s toilet bowl.
I wondered if rose quartz had ever worked this hard in her life.
Lucinda dressed up in her fanciest bluest most satiny dress.
It had flounces and ruffles, creases that gave her a caress.
She was in her party finery, sitting still, waiting for her guest.
Her collie, Labrador and Scotty dog gave barking a small rest.
They will be here any second, she assured her puppy friends.
The doggy brigade sat patiently, doing cartwheels and knee bends.
Lucinda was disappointed, for no humans appeared that day.
Each had an excuse about why they had to go away.
It’s those dogs, her mother said. No one wants to be around them.
Lucinda did not understand this, so she spoke to cousin Clem.
Your pups don’t like us, he told her. They only like one person – you.
No one wants to eat with dogs, it makes us nervous, Lu.
A question like a ramrod
Could an interviewee hit like rod:
For The Recklessly Unprepared
And the sure disaster prepaid…
As question waits for the rare gem,
Heard slight noises a big problem,
The smashed fist on his face Emblem,
At long last, Gem turning a Clem
“God, why didn’t I a lot read?
On me interviewers’ eyes feed!”
“I know there is Morocco
But funny it sounds: Sirocco!”
Only able to keep his smiles
But soon they read into it wiles.
Just for eyes no longer focused
A mind wrestling With The Discussed…
“Thank you, Young Man; you’ll hear from us
And make sure you try The Best Bus.
Like The Cows in Joseph’s Dream
That garroted ones of gleam,
Five were disturbingly gaunt,
As I recalled in a jaunt:
Blissful walk to a park
For a promised beer by Mark:
Men marine spirits did haunt
But still did me badly taunt,
Never ceasing to hearts vaunt
That they would Marine Types daunt…
“No! Don’t voice that,” I warned them,
Eyeing the one who was Clem
Repeatedly telling him
“Marine Spirits are dead grim!”
To often hold back a claim
That could, for life, make one lame:
My Appeasement of Spirits,
Whose calming is not by bits.
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