Long Clem Poems
Long Clem Poems. Below are the most popular long Clem by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Clem poems by poem length and keyword.
Left with the dishes the animals used their tails.
They used their scratchy tongues and they used their nails.
Which would be okay if some had not had rabies.
The hen had chicken pox and the fox had scabies.
They were irritated that the washing landed on them.
So, they did the worst job, I heard from Uncle Clem.
They never wanted to wash human dishes again.
This was told to me by my little Cousin Jim.
Jim is Clem’s son, and their stories are often big lies.
I discovered later this was a lie too; no big surprise.
But I have another cousin who showed me these Pix.
So now I don’t know if it is true or one of their tricks.
"Final Edition" Posted 12 Sep 2021
With deep gratitude to all of who visited and commented over these 12 months of Monoku Mondays, I am hereby retiring this series. Keep laughing and bringing a smile to one another, we all need a lighthearted break from the serious side of life once in a while... especially on Mondays! ~ John
Just Say'n
a clear conscience: usually the result of a bad memory
Speaking of Memory…
i've got great memory if i could only remember to use it
Well If You Put It That Way
the grass is greener on the other side at least you don't have to mow it
Balance Is as Balance Does
a teen's idea of a balanced diet a burger in each hand
Speaking of Teens…
there's nothing wrong with teens that a little reasoning won't aggravate
How Sad
her birthday is april 1st unfortunately, no one believes her
Politics In a Nutshell
never forget the golden rule whoever has the gold makes the rules
Why I Did Poorly in English Class
I was always fated to mispell werds it was just my density
"Bits and Pieces VII" Posted 5 Sep 2021
I Wish I'd Said That
there is only one thing worse than being wealthy not being wealthy
Isn't It Ironic?
i express my non-conformity with mass-produced bumper stickers
I Know, Right?
all those who are opposed to speeding violations raise your right foot
Clueless Clem - International Dating Dunce
"like watching tennis, Cheri?" "oui!" "just a wee bit? okay, baseball then"
Little Red Writing 'Hood
i live in a red house on a writer's block but no one is writing
Quote of the Week
i went to a fight last Saturday night and a hockey game broke out ~
[humor attribution - #5 by Edmo Snord, #6 by Rodney Dangerfield, all others found online, sources unknown]
Mrs Peeck and husband Clem
provide refuge from my family home
No hugs but felt the love
had no children of their own
Afternoon tea of homemade bread
blackcurrant jam and scalded cream
Home grown fruits preserved in Fowlers jars
a meal at night, silver beet was cooked with steam
Unannounced I'd come to stay
overnight a comfy bed
Dream about old cars and bellows
found in Clems machinery shed
Next day home made lunch was packed
down the hill backto school through long blades of grass
Mrs Peeck we'd ask her age
a question that she'd always pass
Footnote: For those who are interested there is an on line recipe for scalded cream (clotted cream)
The cream I refer to was from a house cow milked by hand
I reckon I'm revealing my age when about radio days I pen,
But I fondly recall listening to our Philco radio 'way back then.
What wondrous tales, mysteries and pure comedy from it flowed,
By simply tweaking the tuning knob on the dial that brightly glowed!
I sprawled upon the floor nigh the Philco letting my imagination flow,
As cowboys, pilots, pirates and comedians performed their show!
I laughed as Jack Benny struggled to play his screaky violin,
And thrilled to the music of Glenn Miller and Irving Berlin!
I followed the escapades of teacher Eve Arden as Our Miss Brooks,
And the family sitcom starring Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks!
There was Hopalong Cassidy, The Cisco Kid and The Lone Ranger,
In shootouts with the bad guys protecting the good guys from danger!
I felt tingles along my spine hearing Inner Sanctum's creaking door,
As Richard Widmark began his weekly series with scary tales galore!
Red Skelton's Clem Kaddidlehopper and Sheriff Deadeye kept me in stitches,
And the eerie episodes of Lights Out nearly scared me outta my britches!
The Life of Riley and Fibber McGee and Molly aired on Sunday nights,
And later I enjoyed listening to The Bickersons and their perpetual fights!
Happily, I have many of those old shows on tape that I play now and then,
When I tire of the inane rubbish on TV due to my short attention span!
Lucinda dressed up in her fanciest bluest most satiny dress.
It had flounces and ruffles, creases that gave her a caress.
She was in her party finery, sitting still, waiting for her guest.
Her collie, Labrador and Scotty dog gave barking a small rest.
They will be here any second, she assured her puppy friends.
The doggy brigade sat patiently, doing cartwheels and knee bends.
Lucinda was disappointed, for no humans appeared that day.
Each had an excuse about why they had to go away.
It’s those dogs, her mother said. No one wants to be around them.
Lucinda did not understand this, so she spoke to cousin Clem.
Your pups don’t like us, he told her. They only like one person – you.
No one wants to eat with dogs, it makes us nervous, Lu.
Positively Preposterous Puckheads...STILL!!!
Boy! They sure don't drive no Coupe DeVille.
My wife dragged me here against my will,
I just, Touched Down! in Palookaville!
Her Uncle Buck, buck-teethed and busted bunions,
Always smelled just a bit like onions.
He'd cuss me out while eating Funyuns!
Yep, that Codger's one big Curmudgeon!
Aunt Tildy, wore garters with lace tassels,
Bought lavender soap by the passels!
Had dreams of Knights at White Castles,
And she tells my wife, I'M the ASSLE!
Cousin Clem, I call him "Phlegm," ain't right in the head!
He's thirty-five! and still wets the bed!
And his folks still wonder why he's not wed!
I don't care what that Doctor Phil said!
Last, but not least, is that beast they call Boo!
That cur must be older than...Twenty-Two!
And bowels!...Man, that mutt sure could poo!
As luck would have it...he spackled my shoe!
Damn! Sun's setting, they're sweating, and I'm stuck here...STILL!!!
Oh Lord, please send me that Coupe DeVille!
I might as well start writing my will!
There's "Nightmares Galore" here in Palookaville!
That hot afternoon when the winds were shy,
The Earth froze and the birds refused to fly,
I sat on the soft cold cushion of the green,
Looking on and on...The scene, so serene,
The trees drooped, bowing to a mighty being,
The birds, in their nests, as if to wait and sing,
The clouds cuddled and a light pierced them,
Two eyes, the figure spoke, made me clem,
I remember darkness and a sudden light,
I woke on the same hillside, asked my sight,
"
Was it?
Rather a figment of my deepest dreams,
Or an unimaginable, haunting reality?
No it can't be..... No it can't be!
No it can't be......... NO IT CAN'T BE!!!!
"
Today I still sit here on the barren hillside,
Waiting and waiting and waiting.......
If it was true,
To witness it again and,
If only a dream ,
To prove myself wrong and be free,
But as I wait I still got nothing,
Only thought still resides,
"
I met God and I saw his face, but
Now What?
"