Short Clem Poems

Clem Kadidlehopper had two whoppers,
Two burgers with the works may be stoppers,
Double meat, egg, beetroot, tomato and cheese,
For a burger connoisseur this could only please,
No problem for Clem and his great big choppers.


alternate last line:  Clem woofed them down with his great big choppers....

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Poor Clem was hanging off the shed rafters,
His angry outback wife strutting underneath,
" You've gotta come down some time Clem,"
Said angry Etta through grinding teeth.

"I've never heard of anything so despicable,"
Poor Clem was hanging on in dreaded fear,
"You think you know a man so well,
Then he goes and takes your beer."...

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Spook settled in for an October night
It was brisk and breezy; it felt just right
The pumpkins were sitting within sight
A scary story! Said the littlest, Light.

About carving pumpkins? Spook asked them.
No! Much too scary said his cousin Clem.
About witches and bats? And ghouls then?
Maybe a Christmas story said scaredy cat Mim....

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Mistress Clem collected a variety of rose quartz.
She knew the value of the gem’s properties.
Rose quartz will bring you love and family.

Did It work?
Of course not! She snapped at me.
I never expected it to.

I thought you had a date.
He would not have worked out.
I cancelled it.

Nothing good ever happens to me.
People are always doing me wrong.
My life is a swirl in God’s toilet bowl.

I wondered if rose quartz had ever worked this hard in her life....

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