Funny Child Poems | Examples
These Funny Child poems are examples of Child poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Child Funny poems written by international poets.
My brother and I,
while choosing a name for my nephew,
tried hard to think of something unique—
something with variety and charm.
“Tractor” was the first choice,
then came “Tumbler,”
and we fell breathless with laughter,
comparing impossible things—
his eyes to stretching bubblegum.
We joked about how his name
might sound when he grew older.
Laughs and tears rolled down our cheeks.
I'm secretly
a genius, trouble
is, I'm the only
one who knows
about it.
I'm much too
shy to show it,
and I'm much
too mad to keep
it constant.
I'm either busy
laying in my bed,
missing out.
Or overworking
myself to the point
of exhaustion.
There's no
in-between.
And that,
my friends,
is brilliant.
Coocoo doodle I do,
Not every day I coo,
What Mum can do, I can –
My skin needs a sun tan.
My hair with homemade curls,
My makeup shines like pearls.
I'm just a baby, see,
Acting adult, maybe.
Bring napkins for wee-wee,
Ensure fun flows for free.
Tie me nappies for poo.
And bandage my boo-boo.
Baby guys will whistle,
Love – their own epistle.
While I sway my bum-bum,
Left to right like my mum.
Coocoo doodle I do,
Not every day I coo,
What Mum can do, I can –
My skin needs a sun tan.
No high-heeled shoes to wear,
I'd still swagger with flair.
I'm a baby with style,
Can't stop this cheeky smile.
I’m thinking of a person
Who is strong and resilient.
Big in personality but size is small.
When mad, they turn a green pigment.
All is lost when anger worsens.
Tantrums raging, escalating.
Tired now, limbs in a sprawl.
I’m talking about toddler phasing,
A daily battle of exertion.
My hair is wild, as wild as can be.
It sticks out in all sorts of places,
It goes through many fits and stages,
You can’t imagine the myriad of gazes!
I have curls to a large degree.
They won’t listen to my plea.
My hair demands to be free.
Seeing the beauty of the morning sunrise,
then seeing the colorful sunset at the end of my day.
Making someone laugh when I go shopping,
seeing their face go from dull to lighting up.
Nothing is better than a new puppy,
all soft and furry with a kiss from a tiny tongue.
A child's face in wonder,
giving them a double ice cream cone.
Some writers here,
with their funny wit and humor.
"How about it daddy,"
show me the way,
how you roll that paper,
you make it slay.
"How about it daddy,"
you smell so funny,
is that the reason,
you look so crummy?
"How about it daddy,"
you sleep all day,
you seem so grumpy,
I think you should pray.
"How about it daddy,"
Is it true what mommy say,
that you love smoking,
more than you love yahwey.
It is quite common to kiss 'ouchys' on those wee.
At three, my son asked to have bath autonomy.
I tossed a washcloth, then stood where he could not see.
Soon, he called out with words that completely shook me,
"Mom, it washed red and sore, please come kiss my pee-pee."
Shopping, strolling him down the grocery store aisle
where female hygiene products are sorted in piles,
my son, age four, earnestly said, "When I'm grown, I'll
buy all these things with flowers on them for my wife."
His words styled a smile in me that would last for life.
I used mild-applied wooden spoons for mood anchors.
This set me up for disgust from food cart flankers
when my son yelled, "Look Mom, a hole bag of spankers."
My child, four, eyed that, not the shelved Power Rangers?
I hoped no one would report child welfare dangers.
Once, when a minister summed up his sermon's span
asking "Who's the greatest force in the universe?",
my son, at five, stood up with some dramatic plan.
Lifting his toy hero as high as small ones can,
he enthusiastically declared, "Batman!"
Thoughts of vacation, developed my fav word pearl,
"How many times do I wake up before Disney World?"
The night before Christmas my 6-year-old grandson was elated,
for he knew Santa would bring him bagful of gorgeous gifts
and he would come at night alighting through the chimney.
So, if there was one in the new house he wanted to see.
He ran upstairs to look at the roof top, but couldn't find one,
in tears, he said Santa's visit his fate had surely undone.
I assured, Santa would come through the window of his room
that he kept wide open to the freezing wind blowing at night.
At morn, seeing all the gifts by his side he tried to shout in joy,
but his voice was choked, gripped by the biting bout of cold.
There once was a girl from the south
Who had a hard time with her mouth
Boy with same issue said, (S)"poon!"
She said, "Not poon! We say, "poon!"
Correcting his speech without doubt.
To thin girl we constantly had to say,
"Pull up your pants, the moon shines not in day!"
She noticed my shirt, cut low...
"Mrs.Crystol! Your buttcrack shows!"
Sure enough, too much cleavage on display!
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thorough bathing
our cat does daily perform ~
licks sons hair clean
You can see it in our faces,
by the looks in our eyes.
There's no way I am the father.
They who said it told you lies.
You can tell by our behavior
that our blood is not the same.
There is nothing yet convincing
spare the fact we share a name.
I am just the one who raised him,
used to tuck him into bed.
I'm the one who continued working
to make sure my son was fed.
The one to whom this boy was crying.
I would teach him to be strong.
The one on whom he was relying
without his father all along.
I'm the one who gave him money
and I taught him how to spend.
Despite it all, you know what's funny?
He was succesful in the end.
I'm the one who paid attention
to his desires and his needs.
This I say with apprehension
but don't expect you to agree.
I'm just the man who taught him values,
principles to get him by.
I taught him how to read the Bible
for more instruction he applies.
I was overjoyed to watch him
measure up to be a man.
No, I couldn't be his father.
I am just the one who showed him
that I truly can.
Chanté Walker
November 22, 2024
What are you doing?
What are we supposed to do?
How are they growing,
Where will you go?
Thought of something?
You did nothing ,
Things are lost;
Can’t bear the cost?
People think, you are frustrated
Can’t they think it not funny
Don’t go harsh , they are careless;
Realize that its just agony.
Swimming in the pool was Lou- Lou,
In distress yelled, ”MA! Gotta poo !”
Momma was too late.
So the cowboy, Nate,
stuck in head n'said, “Howdy-DOO!”
Following me wherever I go
My greatest fear and my biggest foe
Long dark nights you keep me awake
Even the beating of your heart
And your breathing like a snake
I wish you would leave me alone
I hear your voice every time I pick up the phone
I tried one time to hurt you
I watched the rock as it flew
Seven years of bad luck but I’m still not done with you