Cartman Poems | Examples


Premium Member South Park Holiday Diet

SOUTH PARK HOLIDAY DIET



There once was a boy, named Eric Cartman.
A roly-poly little brat, sorely in need of a diet!
His friend Kenny had the just the answer:
"Just date a belly dancer, eat lots of candy canes,
And soon you'll be thin and svelte as Santa's reindeer, Prancer."



                December 24, 2019


Note: Based on the television USA adult, animated comedy series,
"South Park."
{Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.}

Perspective

Perpendicular Parallel lines make 1D 
converging cardboard cartman through supersymmetry 1D, 2D, 3D,4D, 5D 
Respect my authoriD
All the way up to infiniD
Quantem mechanics may be Ds
nuttz and bolts that keep D'z
principles prioritized thru my eyes
Vision "BRIGHT"
Rainbows of thought 
Though carefully perceive-in ENLIGHT!!
Dotting my i's
Crossing my t's 
M.R. double M.M. is physics living theory 
 living prooof
Boom! Big bang?
Living Poof!
Humans, homo-sapeins
Beginning anew ?!?
Little do we know
who is who?
what is?  true? or truth?
Behind the end of the enemy's line 
Who? Do you know? what's truth to you!?!


I'M Eric Cartman

I'm Eric Cartman and I'm an evil little *****.
My mom is poor, she certainly isn't rich.
She posed nude in a magazine because she's a Crack Whore.
She couldn't afford to buy me an IPad and that made me sore.

After I lied on DR. Phil, Apple was about to give me a Human CentiPad.
But they got an order to disassemble it and that really made me mad.
I started cursing God and he struck me with lightning.
I won't ever mess with him again, he's too frightening.

Many people hate my guts because I'm a racist punk.
When I offended a girl classmate, my ship was sunk.
She beat me up because she's a tough little Lass.
I tried to fight back but she kicked my sorry ass.

I certainly don't have a heart of gold, I'm a terrible lad.
People wonder how a nine year old boy can be so bad.
If you do something bad, I'll rat you out because I'm also a snitch.
I will not change my ways, I'll continue to be an evil little *****.

(This poem is based on the South Park cartoon.)

Oh My God, They Killed Kenny!

(This is a fictional poem)

I loved watching South Park on weekday nights.
But my cousin caused me not to be able to watch it and we got in a fight.
He smashed the TV screen and I had to pick up the glass.
When I got done, I kicked his ass.
I liked watching Cartman, Kenny, Stan and Kyle.
My cousin will be in the hospital for awhile.

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