Any given moment, any given time

grief is a complicated feeling; it doesn’t always hold the loss of something. But in some cases, in my case, it’s the quiet ache of dread, the feeling that encapsulates quiet certainty of impending loss, something that means more to you than anything, that in the here and now, is still with you. Yes, you may still see that person in the morning when you wake up, bathed in the quiet gold of a new day. But although that person stands in front of you, there is a unspoken understanding that, the person is preparing to fade away, in any given moment. Any given time. Suddenly, everything that used to be so miniscule, is now grand. The laughs, the late conversations, together with that person asking how your day was when you walk through the door. These meaningful seconds, now becomes the most important interactions of your life, because there is the feeling of inevitability-that one day, it won’t be there anymore So yes, grief, can still appear even when that person is still with you. The grief just happens to come early, mourning every sun ridden morning, that you soon will not be able to have. A laugh that’s no longer reciprocated by that person. a conversation that no longer flows both ways and lastly, nobody there to ask how your day went, no gentle voice, no caring stare, just silence.