Philosophy Burlesque Poems | Examples

These Philosophy Burlesque poems are examples of Burlesque poems about Philosophy. These are the best examples of Burlesque Philosophy poems written by international poets.


4000 Characters

To summarize your life
In 4000 characters (including spaces) 
Seems hard at first

‘There are too few spaces’  
‘There isn’t enough room’
‘How can I show all facets of my extraordinary life’

Then you realize
Your life is not as exciting 
As you often portray

18 years of existence
Is crammed into just over one page
Then unknown people judge you

But Some people should feel happy
That they have more than enough space.
I certainly don’t.

Then they chose to accept you
not on your personality
But on your words

But frankly 
It's probably for the best
For people like me
© Tom Hyam  Create an image from this poem.


A Matter of Taste

Morbid Fascination?
Eccentric arbitrary
Pseudo Sadistic
Indulgence?
Same Thing?
You bring Abomination,
I'll bring the booze.
© Arden Wood  Create an image from this poem.

You Say You'Re Gay

So you declare you're gay,
At first I knew not what to say...
Than I saw it clearly,
The wisdom that you had,
Far better to be gay,
Than so God darn awful sad.
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

Sweatin' the Small Stuff

Don't sweat the small stuff, they say...
I see it, a different way....
Small problems easily become big,
Make you pull your hair out,
So you gotta' wear a wig!
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

My Secret

I got a secret, I ain't supposed to tell, but a secret is made to be told, so what the 
h_ll.  See I heard through the grapevine (when I was pressing some fresh wine)
that Sandra Hudson/Alexandria is brewin' a pot, of delicious witch stew...I know 
how we all love that, both me and you...so lets petition her earnestly to 
pass 'round that big pot, and in honor of Holloween, share what you got!!
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.


Beat Your Kids

I believe;
to achieve a healthy relationship,
in a house where children live,
you must beat your kids.
-of course, by "beat", I mean, 
adore.

I believe;
when two ensue in disputes,
the way to defuse these issues,
is duel with pistols.
-and by "duel with pistols", I mean, 
listen more.

I believe;
to be the best that you can be,
and let your potential see its peak,
remember, lie and cheat.
-and by "lie and cheat", I mean, 
always work hard.

I believe;
to ensure your love's legit,
so you will never worry about it,
take what you can get.
-and by "take what you can get", I mean, 
use your heart.

Poetic Pestilence / Or, I Hate Bugs!!!

I'm sitting at a desk,
no longer mine,
in a house that is no more,
before me, a glass of wine,
and a book I've seen before

a journal, forty years old,
my wisdom then, was somehow
seemingly far greater and visionary,
than what I have just now...

there's termites in my floorboards,
there's termites in my mind
I need a good exterminator,
to save me from their kind....

a package deal he offers,
including soup to nuts,
I told him very firmly,
I am a poetry soup nutty putz....

you put a cockroach in my home,
you'll see me burn it down...
I hate bugs so very much,
the mere thought brings me a frown

give me mice, if you have to,
give me termites if you must,'
but put a cockroach in my home,
I'll soon enough turn it into dust

ticks should only infest clocks,
fleas for a political refugee,
bed bugs only for a mattress store,
and ants to keep uncles company
I'm afraid then to follow this logic,
and think of what cockroachs
intend for their encroaches

just the thought of this subject,
the disgusting world of bugs,
makes me awful nauseous,
with lots and lots of "Ughs"!!!
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

The American Drive-Thru Life

we have a fairly unique society
we're masters of energy conservation
and I don't mean of oil or electricity...
I mean bodily efforts, we waste no more
than we absolutely have to,
and that's no folklore...

we drive thru every aspect of life,
to get a burger, or wed a wife...
if a car ahead is moving too slow,
with our horns we let them know

they're slowin'  down the American dream,
at a pace that makes us scream...
"come'on, G_d D_mn it,
move that piece of Sh_t!!"

it's a pay and pick-up world,
the fast track American lifestyle,
I doubt other societies would understand it,
unless they lived here for a while

our cell phones are ever at our ears
our money is now but plastic,
we still have a bunch of scary fears,
but it's such a stretch, it seems elastic,

we worry about how long it takes
to live our life our way
if you can cut it down real quick,
you'd keep waiting time at bay..

right, or wrong, I do not judge
cause I'm so busy here
at the Carvel drive-thru window,
impatiently waitin' for my fudge!
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

Marilyn Or Charles?

Mansons.....
you can take your pick
to me, they're both very sick

charlie? (his name does not warrant a capital)
Marilyn (what sex you think he might be?)
both grizzly, or so, to me...

who'd you rather have as a cell-mate
if this is the choice you have?
I think I'd vote for solitary,
or put in my eyes a lye soaked salve
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

So the World May Unite

No bad should be there 

So the world will be light

No wrong should be there 

So the world will be all right

No con should be there

So the world will be a sprite

No swindles should be there

So the world will be a delight

No sin should be there 

So the world will be bright

No hatred should be there 

So the world will never fight 

No scandal should be there

So the world will be polite

No conflict should be there

So the world may unite

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