There are no toilets up in Heaven, so I was told
Righteous are the perfect sheep in God's Holy fold
They no longer have the need to pee or drop a turd.
That's based on the information I recently heard.
But since I've had more time to ponder the thought,
what if rumblings of thunder are the echoes of a fart?
Body waste would fall from Heaven on you and me.
Quite a perplexing problem for us. Do you agree?
Earth would be a toxic cesspool, if that were so
and down, down, down, the flushes would flow.
We'd have constant need of a massive sump pump
to remove the stinky caca when angels take a dump.
Sitting on a throne is not the way I picture the divine.
God would never allow such a vile plumbing design.
He'd not pollute the planet he created for mankind.
No overflowing toilets in Heaven will you ever find.
October 7, 2021
The Throne in Heaven Contest
Sponsor: Jack Webster
********************
Categories:
body waste, heaven, humor,
Form: Rhyme
organic matter;
derriere rush,
after I'm done wiping myself off, then gotta flush;
flushing it down into the water closet;
got to go plunging poo;
ooh! ooh! ooh!
oh oh no shaped like a log;
floating on the water top;
of the stool it's poo!
And it's gotta come out shoo!
Dirty, filthy body waste manure stool;
Just, organic matters
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2021
7/22/21
Categories:
body waste, analogy, endurance, how i
Form: Rhyme
AT THE DUNG DINERS’ CLUB-
Dung beetles them there beetles ;
That feed on feces;
Some species of dung beetles;
Ooh! Yum just love that feces from all the species;
Can bury dung 250 times their own mass;
In one night those dungs love to not pass;
Also known as rollers, roll dung into round balls,
Which are used as a food source please pass the more;
Or breeding chambers;
Animal dung used for fertilizing lands and lawns so bitter;
Dung muck droppings, ordure guano;
Cowpats, cow chips, horse apples;
Compost, excrement, mulch maul
Buffalo chips, cow chips, Heee haw!
Cow plop's, meadow muffins, BM, Oh? crap;
Defecation, discharge;
Excrement, fecal matter, waste;
Feces feculence flux
Go to the bathroom, stool, number two
Poop the night soil
Swwhh,! ooh the airs so fowl
Egesta evacuations body waste
Says them there dung beetles give it a taste
Guess them dung is dung eating ya? Make haste(Oooh yum yah!)
7/19/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2021©
DEADICATED VERSE TO Jan Allison AT THE DUNG DINERS CLUB
Categories:
body waste, analogy, appreciation, food, insect,
Form: Rhyme
Dissolve my body, waste my mind,
Destroy all proof of my existence.
I guarantee that I'll be kind,
I won't put up any resistance.
Take my words and break them down,
To dots and letters bursting with desire.
Collect my every verb and noun,
Set them alight with ceaseless fire.
Ignore my so-called great potential,
My heart is here, yet so untrue.
I might have never been essential,
But I felt I had a purpose, too.
Count down my ending with your fancy stories,
Of how I will one day find someone.
I cannot stand the sight of all your glories.
When I have come so far with none.
My brightest light, is now a shade,
My songs of beauty; not much more than a moan.
So much for choices to be made!
To live alone, or die alone.
Categories:
body waste, beauty, dark, depression, destiny,
Form: Rhyme
I saw you with her
And my world came crashing down
And all I fought to believe has been stolen
Because your heart belongs to
her
And all I'm left with is this curse
The curse of my reflection
The lies I worked hard to forget
Are all truth now
And I do all I can
To earn your attention
But am I really there at all?
Do you ever see me?
Do you know who I am?
I am destroying my body for you
Letting my body waste away, little by little
Just to win your affections
Because I need someone
Someone I can talk to
And I have this longing to be loved
And there's a part of me that is empty
Due to this longing
Due to the relationship I can't have
You stole my heart
And now you've broken it
Because I'm not your girlfriend
And she is
Categories:
body waste, heartbreak, jealousy, love hurts,
Form: Free verse
Poetry Contest
The Re-movement of Body Waste
Feed a palate is consumption of food
Into stomach’s upper and lower masses
Digestive walls will arise to its challenge
All that has been eaten in order to live
We waste not for want of not!
Leave your plate all too empty
A good full bowel will provide
Your toilet’s flushed plumber pipes
To work its system of waste expulsion
Into vast city sewers well hidden
Under our rain washed streets!
Categories:
body waste, farewell, food, jobs, nature,
Form: Free verse
A friend has left without a word
his soul slipped out last night.
The illness laid his body waste
but not without a fight.
Prayers were sent with loving thought
but more I meant to say.
To use the phone and speak hello
or visit one fine day.
The time had come with mind made up
to let him know I cared.
With pen to card a loving note
my friendship I declared.
The envelope was licked and sealed
this time I would not fail
It wanted nothing more to send
just address for the mail
A common friend I sought for help
and quickly he replied
No need for card or phone calls now
our friend this morning died.
With nothing left to do or say
I sat in silence deep
My efforts late to no avail
my heart began to weep
Our worlds move on in separate paths
so busy every day
Consumed by self we shuffle on
with words we meant to say
But time won’t pause not even once
and cards are left unread.
Chances slip away for good
and leave regrets instead.
Categories:
body waste, grief,
Form: Rhyme
Grumpy
Elderly people
Ridiculously fussing over nothing
Inventing crazy stories
Attempting to get over bed rails
Trails of body waste on the floor
Repeating questions over and over
Insisting on being toileted when they can't walk
Commanding to have their backs scratched.
BUT-
Sweet souls that need to be taken care of.
Categories:
body waste, people,
Form: Acrostic
Spend your hard-earned cash on fuel for takeoff.
Pray that the government does not find out until gone.
Allow your free time for checking weather, not golf.
Case the local food store for dry goods you can con.
Evaluate your water supply needs, no water in cosmos.
Secure a safe place for waste, body waste floats to easy.
Have welding knowledge, so your stored rocket is close.
Internet may bring suspicion making government queasy.
Plan to go up straight in the air, horizontal rockets scare.
Categories:
body waste, adventure, funny, imagination, places,
Form: Acrostic