Our nation’s reputation is already scuffed
The chunter as another punter got duffed
Generation.. blunter advice have rebuffed
Latest sensation of vice Root not chuffed
Spice not once but thrice & chests puffed
No VIP pass in the splice should be stuffed
ECB still choosing Key as yet again fluffed
Are accusing Rob the knob’s gob we huffed
Stokes an a*se blokes boozing not snuffed
Trite this sh*te will be alright they bluffed
A farce losing Brydon Carse as got cuffed
It is the lairiest of epochs
Ignore slop do a pop vox
Chock a block with shocks
But the scariest of tik toks
Snapping like hungry crocs
Another spate of hate docks
Photos that everyone clocks
Those ones who girls mocks
Are as deadly as small pox
Aren't all as strong as an ox
Shaking from online knocks
Drowning in instasham lochs
Stinks like young men's socks
Mistaking that a cure’s botox
Crowning a theory I defrocks
That faking makes you a fox
Solution sells comes out a box
Lies stir fries in corporate woks
Smells fishy like out of date lox
Why jog cheat the elite flocks
Fatty injections vanity smocks
As the poor everything hocks
Pharma firm flogs all its stocks
Not just peahens also peacocks
Androids on steroids rippled jocks
Muscle bound like the Springboks
Why are so many blokes.. cocks?
How about all go on a long detox
Take note your boat you’re the cox
Winner is the inner you which rocks
Fashion rations compassion is bollox!
Some blokes who smoke think it's okey-doke
to throw their still-lit dog-ends on the ground
it's mostly men or so I've found
then there are those who continually spit
how disgusting is that yet what can we do
to make them quit
and litter louts bug me too
while others chew gum and when done
stick it wherever they are able
such as chairs or under tables
with no regard for anyone
they're inconsiderate mindless fools
who behave that way and think they're cool
Microplastics
Are not fantastic
People pour them down the drain
And they end up in your brain
Initially I thought fantastic
This will make me more elastic
But this was not the case at all
They’re even in some blokes balls
Often consumed when we eat
Which I don’t think is very neat
But this is a fact that I detest
When I’m dead and laid to rest
As I finally get on the nose
The microplastics won’t decompose.
she came into sight in a couple of smooth porpoise strokes
Probably the sea witch of sea shell fame, as reported by blokes
Sailors who had seen her way out in the middle of storms and such
Hi, she said, I have admired your sailboat very much
This surprised me, for I had been told the sea witch did not speak.
She splayed her fingers up by her eyes and gave me a sharp peek
Do not believe those sailors, they exaggerate so, they practically lie.
So saying, she gave me a jaunty wave, and a merry good-bye.
Fans in stands & beds with heads in their hands
Bazball disbands shredded into dreaded strands
Boycott this lot don't give a jot no one understands
Piss poor bores ignore turnstile roar in hostile lands
Tanned Aussie class brass band was hardly bland
Yelping Stokes blokes giving them a helping hand
Canned the cool fool Bazball brand must be banned
Ivory tower power zen that Baz Bob and Ben wield
Defective ploys annoys but from noise boys shield
What did planning spanning 4 years actually yield
Smote gloat all the chatting not like 86 and Gatting
Bleak Ben does ken Oz not a den for weak men
Joe standing sentry his century show a footnote
For it does seem this time right quote right team
As a hack with that knack way back once wrote
Can't Bat.......Can't bowl ....Can't field!
Whittled skittled Bazball skint
Belittled lost the glint of Clint
Have a dig make my day big hint
Whatever they say never skinflint
In every stint we will always sprint
Hope dope blueprint trope's mint
The jibber jabber about the Gabba
White knights or ghoulish frights
Stagefright day night under lights
Highlights or more foolish flights
In the ascendancy have that tendency
Heresy or do they deserve clemency
Jealously let them preserve their legacy
Lose again barricaded in the Embassy
Stokes blokes smokes with their high jinx
Ben’s mens sneaky kinks find the chinks
Bazball minx in sync with cheeky winks
Glasses clinks as fans sinks their drinks
Nearly boys ploys bring us back from the brink
What do you think ..will our envoys annoy shrink
Another pity ditty in a sweltering city.. sh**ty stink
Or blink ignore the noise....spurred on by the slurs
Purrs like the Psychedelic Furs..joys of Pretty in Pink?
Our Nordic God run roughshod by the cynics
Mimics all those skeptics & pundits in pulpits
Sod odd bod critics clinics their unfair optics
Hysterics but Bazball clerics are not yet relics
Despite batting lapse alright collapse specifics
The insult not horrific result of cult’s gimmicks
Got it wrong will still sing same mesmeric song lyrics
Twits witticisms & criticisms taken a toll…troll gits
Shaken has Bazball forsaken its soul..drole misfits
No more stealth or self control just abysmal skits
Dismal death roll rigmarole gambits whole Bazball in bits?
On the dole or run rate wealth in rude health call it quits
Flits their way to play their flair hits as prole media spits
Grandstand Baz Ben stable fable big band brand label fits
Aussies canned.. gawking Larrikin ti*s balking..its the pits
Goal corking victory at the Gabba hoodoo fortress venue
Folks blabber talking of Stokes blokes stalking voodoo
Oz jibber jabber fibber distress as we made history..phew
Yes JuJu mystery temptress played express Yabba Dabba Doo!
Appalling.. hard not to diss the taking the piss
No not talking about the corking bliss of Travis
Bazball calling card just a scarred hubris abyss
Head’s rabid ripsnorter slaughter so rapid
Livid our boys stupid not vivid instead vapid
Fan fury wishing they will stop fishing
Hack jury dishing out flak still swishing
Go toe to toe with our oldest coldest foe
Blow by blow new low ego the worst woe
Wickets in a row..have a go free flow they all crow
Forget every aficionado all about Bazball bravado
Can hear them say no other way to play we know
Can’t teach reach each puppet that Mac did bestow
Beseech after another breach it’s the Muppet show
Boycott & Vaughan did warn along with many ex baggie greens
After the laughter at rafter of dafter scenes…still chill your beans
Really.. Stokes bespoke blokes choked were smoked...“Has Beens”!
Would you Adam & Eve it on the eve of the Ashes a simple gambit
Folks Bazball blokes won't choke are bespoke Stoked and up for it
Heed & feed that decreed need for SPEED to impede Aussie cricket
Trick pick slick mix of quicks in nick at a decent lick.... just the ticket
Get set for the ferocity of this racy quintet each one a bowling bandit
Along with Big Ben his pacy men with a stun speed gun for fun habit
Fastest speedster pack all out pace attack ever sent to OZ God dammit
Genesis of old nemesis not giving a toss about the old Colonial boss innit
In a spin larrikin sin of BazBall getting under the Aussies skin.. just admit it!
On trial England's new wile & guile style versus all that vile bile denial sh*t
Stokes's bowling banquet not just a treasure chest but also a safety blanket
Reigning by regaining the Ashes crest of best Test conquest on the planet!
Baggy green pledge..be mean one could allege
New depths seen to dredge vent spleen sledge
Obscene lexicon ledge to get that slight edge
What do you know here we go first blow
Folks well blokes pokes jokes at Stokes
Campaigner entertainer a cocky complainer
Yawn..forlorn well worn scorn of Kiwi born
Ropey guff about Bazball stuff being dopey
Out of whack flak attack now back on track
Aussie stacks of hacks on a have a go retainer
Haven’t forgotten when Jonny went Rotten
Lost his cool in that whole Lord’s Baz brawl
When Ben’s mens’ gall did enthrall and appall
So one trite slight after another in a row
In a cruel crow from our oldest coldest foe
They bestow their woe of “average Joe”
Get snooty about the beauty of our Rooty
Get fruity saying our defender’s a pretender
Won’t ever get one booty ton while on Oz duty
Just what you’d predict from a convict offender
You wait mate..till your guest & great contender for
Crest of Test best goes on a big spender bender
Farmer's Market mornings a parade of colourful awnings
Day dawning.. folks with a basket just awoke still yawning
Blokes fawning over what bespoke stalls are spawning
Queues peruse.. muse.. stroke & choose without warning
Arable fables & orchard parables the tables are adorning
A misfit in Liverpool
I think of oranges, and saw a painting by Constable of a morning sun
that looked like blood orange dripping nectar down on some
Fishermen are trying to catch eels on the dark surface in the bay.
There were sail ships too, ready to hoist sail in the morning wind.
When I lived in England, I met several police constables, most
of them, nice blokes, alas, during the miners´ strike, they became
radicalized, they had a good talking to by those higher up, and
were also promised plenty of overtime.
John, the constable, - fifteen years on the beat and no promotion-
A friend of mine refused to partake in hitting miners over the head,
He continued his lonely beat, but at the station, he was ostracised,
a lonely figure in need of a friend- He often came into my cafe after
hours and we drank vodka with orange juice, lamenting the time we
lived in. John retired early, and I sold my cafe.
A misfit in Liverpool
I think of oranges when I see a painting by Constable of a morning sun
that looked like blood orange dripping nectar down on some
fishermen trying to catch eels on the dark surface of the bay.
There were sail-ships too ready to hoist sail in the morning wind.
When I lived in England, I met several police constables, most
of them, nice blokes, but during the miners´ strike, they became
radicalized, they had a good talking to by those higher up and
were also promised plenty of overtime.
John, a police constable fifteen years on the beat and no promotion-
a friend of mine refused to partake in hitting miners over the head,
he continued his lonely beat, but at the station, he was ostracised,
a lonely figure in need of a friend- He often came into my cafe after
hours, we drank vodka with orange juice, lamenting the time we lived in. John took early retirement, and I sold my cafe.
As Neanderthals, you must know
that, wherever you may go,
you will be hunted by the blokes
who describe themselves as modern folks.
With culture and books, they're so chill -
until...they begin to kill.
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