Humorous Blessing Poems

I made a good impression today April 19th, 2023...

getting fitted for a new pair of dentures
at Liberty Dental in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania;
The tab picked up courtesy
Aetna...

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Dear Enemy, 
I will wish you well and set you free. 
Your words and knife, 
will no longer hurt me. 
Too bad it all had...

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Prune juice as effective emetic

Brainstorming yields casting 
the following plumbline 
netting genetic, italic, kinetic, 
magnetic, opportunistic, quixotic,
synchronistic, and universalistic result.

Ofttimes I experience constipation bout,
and thus...

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Digging my own grave synonymous with a sense of accomplishment

Quite an undertaking
to break ground
figuratively, and symbolically linkedin
while able bodied and mindedness
readies cemetery plot within Elysian...

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How did you become featherless
Angels are always blessed and do bless
Standing too close to the fire
Devil got me in a crossfire
Make sure you always tell...

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I am very blessed because all my blessings come from above. ...

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Norwegian bachelor farmer days I never lived

Woebegone and egg foo young on you
meaning me of course
sidestepping a crucial positive
electric kool aid battery acid test
prior to...

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Loss of faith

It was Christmas Eve 1947 
A knock on the door, I stopped breathing
Santa entered with a bag
slung across massive shoulders
I saw it was,...

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Mirth-filled, children converse boisterously
Presenting their future jobs jovially
As the best and greatest, well-said pridefully
Midst innocence, sans ignorance of witty perspective cheerfully.

Child A: I’ll be an...

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Smiting spread of gaseous explosion blow
He sprayed baby cologne with fresh mint glow
As classmates guessed puzzling scent
Poop came out as toilet-sent…
Then he blurted, “Thanks* God...

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Yours truly would never be confused for a gourmand, nevertheless I could enjoy experiencing taste testing select food samples if offered an opportunity of attending...

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The ambulance ride only lasted
For 10 minutes.
Delilah was in Labor now
Experiencing strange labor
Sensations. They were orgasms
Dolly didn't want to admit that.
Most of both families swept...

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To every man who's gathered in the pub,
enjoying our good Guinness by the glass—
may all your troubles burp and belch away
and all your dreams, in...

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Purim Serum
Reverse the decree, costume quorum,
Dour outlooks, ingrates can wait,
To “V’Al HaNissim” respond “Amen!”
‘Til Shichur or REM inebriate,
Confusing “Baruch Mordechai & Arur Haman”,
Choose an opponent...

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The missus served me high test coffee...

Ah... tis nothing more heavenly 
(to one borne again devout atheist)
then a spring like January 18th, 2023
here at Highland...

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