Best Yoo Poems
“Being crazy isn't enough.” ? Dr. Seuss
Jabberwocky's growl
Jabberwocky howl
howl at little girls
howl at the moon
moon with your pants down
moon over Manhattan
Manhattan nights
Manhattan Knights
Knights in White Satin
Knights with Bat ears
ears of a donkey
ears of a rabbit
rabbit across the street
Rabbit Run
run for your life
run the stocking
stocking up
stocking legs
legs on a flamingo
legs under the table
table talk
table manners
"manners" said Alice?
"manners" said the Queen
Queen of Hearts
Queen of the May
May I
may you
you may
you can
can can
can do
do what?
do who?
who said that?
who yoo-hooed
yoo-hoed a yodel
yoo-hooed on cue
cue up the table
cue ones and two's
two's are for pairs
two's for tea
tea totalers
tea bags
bags for a season
bags for a reason
reason or not
reason be damned
damned
not
Debbie Guzzi
8/8/15
She said "I'll show you mine
if you're willing to show me yours."
I didn't waste a second
I promptly dropped my drawers!
I was rather embarrased
She looked and started to giggle
My little man was at attention
While the boys did their jiggle
After she stopped her laughing
I thought it would be my turn
Me an eager student
willing and able to learn
In the end I learned my lesson
She wanted to look through my tests
But my young mind was occupied
Transfixed by her beautiful breasts
So I quickly pulled up my pants
Time to put the two boys away
My little man sadly shrinking
Disappointed that he couldn't play
When she seen my embarrassment
She said "okay come have a look."
Please let it be her Yoo hoo
and not just some silly book
Holding out the band of her panties
She said "go ahead and reach in"
I was a happy explorer
Extreamly eager to begin
As the girl started moaning
I was sure I had got it right
She said "if you want to find it,
perhaps we need a little light."
So she started undressing
A vision there before my eyes
Her breasts a bit of perfection
Perky and just the right size
She said we'd have to work quickly
Before her parents came back
She pushed me down on the bed
and promptly began her attack
With force she ripped of my trousers
Thankfully she knew what to do
I let her have her way with me
The boys were no longer blue
She looked at me with a smile
Told me "it's time for you to go.
The next lesson will be better,
I'll teach you how to be slow!"
Driving past our old home on Glenwood Avenue
Memories came to life from my childhood days
Going over the park, Mom. I'll be in before ten
Got a game of hide and seek. Everyone plays
We'd take a bottle of yoo-hoo or nu-grape to drink
In winter on Clark Street there was an ice skating rink
A pack of luckies in our shirt sleeve thinking we were cool
The Bungalow was our community pool
There were Friday night dances in the gym at Saint Jerome
Maybe a stop at the Coffee Cup while we were walking home.
Movies at the Majestic and Victoria were great
Fan buses for away games. We'd get back late.
American Billiard Academy was where the balls were racked
No seat at the home game because the stadium was packed
Under the state store, the Y M C A
At the Vic a Saturday matinee
A baseball game with a sponge ball and fist
In the school's gymnasium, doing the Twist
Middle Ward playground, the movie was free
Adjusting the picture on the old T V.
A class trip on school buses to Hershey Park
Sleigh ride down Snake Hill in the cold and the dark
Walking the coal bank by Number Fourteen
Stopping at Mike's to play the pinball machine
On Biddle Street, we'd sit on the cemetery wall
Jumping into piles of leaves in the early fall
Then I stopped at Dutch Hill Park for a while
Memories of Tamaqua always make me smile.
"I saw some road kill on my way over," she said.
She had a horse laugh. "Just a dumb raccoon," she added.
I leapt over the sink and slapped her, hard.
Leaving my entire hand print on her cheek in pink.
Her prissy stuck-up lady face looked stunned.
She stood up, and ran off without any more incessant yapping.
My husband walked out of his man-cave just in time to
see her running flat out past the picture window, clutching her purse.
"Playing with the new neighbor?" He guessed.
I glared at him.
"The woman pushed her way in with a 'yoo hoo', She was not invited."
"She doesn't share your love for animals?" he guessed.
Oscar Opossum pushes open the cupboard doors under the sink, wanders out and chomps noisily from the dog bowl.
Sophie, our most spoiled cocker spaniel growls.
Reggie Raccoon runs over and slaps Sophie.
"Look what you are teaching them!"
My husband says to me, horrified.
"Reggie is a raccoon," I inform him. "She TAUGHT slapping to me!"
I doubt this nosy neighbor will be back,
Which is a perk because I truly and deeply
Like my woodland creatures much more than pushy humans.
Lines, Launch Angles and Curve Balls
The boys of summer
Set up for a season of lines, launch angles and curve balls
With straight chalky lines leading to a field of dreams
Where line-ups keep the line moving
On frozen ropes to climb the ladder into the catbird seat
Above the Mendoza line when outlines of a waving pennant envision
Crooked numbers and dusty home plates where grand salamis
Foil curves balls in flying angle launch lines – not lined out,
Not out of line
To make power lines for a hitter’s line of sight
And for bases lines, nicknamed the 45’ line,
That call for calls of fair ball down the line
Or foul across the foul line
To guide the line – fair or foul -
And lines of music for the seventh inning stretch, or the chin,
Sung in lusty lines of fans in seat lines
Or in line for nachos, popcorn, brats and beer –
To cheer the back door slider, can of corn or Uncle Charlie –
A Bronx cheer or line of boos –
A summer lineup card of seeing-eye doubles down the line,
Balls climbing up the ladder lines
Nestled in a flat curve
For lines creating perfect diamond angles
Ringing with famous lines
“Batter up!”
For “There’s no crying in baseball.” –
A nervous breakdown in nine innings” -
Because “It’s outta here!”
“Adios Pelota!” “Good bye Mr. Spaulding!”
“Holy Cow!” “Long gone!”
“Put it on the board” “Hey! Hey!”
“Oh Doctor!” “Bye, bye baby!”
And “It ain’t over till it’s over!”
Because “It’s getting late early.”
And “The impossible just happened.” “Forget it!”
“Hello again everybody! It’s a bee-yoo-tiful day for baseball.”
“How about that?”
“If it wasn’t for baseball I’d be in either the penitentiary or cemetery.”
“Remember these two things – play hard and have fun.”
With lines, launch angles and curve balls.
Opening Day April 1, 2021
Koo! Ikhala bwireke ulila, kamaru sokosia
Losia khunyanga kamaru, embulaa inukulukhe
Neyakhenukulukha, waanguwa mukhuru
Rekeresia nono, rekeresia lundi
Namenya khwikongochela, khwipwetya nekhwipwetya
Efwe sekhwatamba engo ta, khuli nabyo
Ewe khumiliya amoni, khung'enang'ena nomunamuna
Wakila nenukulukha kumoyo
Nga nakhwakanana norenya, waenya embanya
Embanya yong'ene khuenya, nakesemulila nanyira
Weng'ene mwana wa Mayi, nase khukhesya?
Muryena? Wanjakha nanguwa ta!
Khakosi nokongangakho sa, kumoyo Kukonga sa
Esukuli nochibakho omwekesi, mbukanga sa ndi ese
Nga noweyama khukhesia mukhono, kamaroro sa,
yaani kamapaaro
Nofwarire engubo yoo , embesemu elikho kumoyo
Niyo rarao wakhwamisila Ebukanda, Sembwechanga ewenywe ta,
nekhali wesi soruranga ta
Ewenywe batikiya batikiya po, solirura ta
Koo! Yaya Kumoyo kunjira, sikhulimo ngorwa
Okhandoba nekaka ta, kumoyo ungulumia sa
Nokendangakho sa oli likulukulu, nokonga likosi
Wenyanga ekhole endiena?
Lusabeti ulila yaya, ulila nekongochela
Okhwa Chifu saanjeta ta, sikhuli mwiwe
Mwakhaba nemutamba, khamubonakhomo niye ta,
Okheendekhelela ta yaya,tima inja niendela khukosie
Khumbonge Nola Lusabeti, kimyandu Mwitala swaa
Khaalonde nicho rarao akana, ambe khakhewe khakosi
Likulukulu liase ambe, lie embanya ye khuukia
Kumoyo kwitukha kuno, aba wakusanya kamanyifu chi!
Wally’s going to the mall today to buy some things he needs,
like toothpaste, soap, and bubble bath, and packs of flower seeds.
The first thing in the store he sees - the big long escalator.
He says, “I’ll not ride on that thing with teeth like alligators.”
Pushed from behind, he’s on the thing and holding on so hard.
He thinks his little weasel nails have left the railing scarred.
“Oh, wait a minute. I was wrong. I think this ride is fun!”
He thinks when he gets off this time, he’ll ride another one.
The mall was crowded to the seams
It’s just the place of Wally’s dreams
He’s never seen so many stores
With clothes and toys and books galore.
He bought the things he needs at home. He even bought a fine-tooth comb.
But passing by the bath supplies, he got perfume sprayed in his eyes.
He’s gonna smell like this all day, and not his usual weasel way.
There’s hope that it will wear off soon, but prob’ly not this afternoon.
Off to the food court. Time to eat. He found a place, an empty seat,
and took the menu, ordered lunch, and set his bags down in a bunch.
Just then, he hears a loud, “Yoo-hoo! Hey, Wally, what are you up to?”
It’s Willy Wolff, his childhood friend, and this is how the day will end.
We’ll leave these friends to catch up on the things the other one has done.
It’s been so long since they have met, they’ll talk ‘til dawn. You wanna bet?
Bun the feds dem coming str8 from the lava ground
A young brother moving mad cause I brown
I hate the police force their all full if pricks
They had the audacity to call the authorities
Bun that dough cause I ant for one
For a place full of pig’s wit a badge & gun
To be kill you know or dash in jail
It’s definitely on sight if I catch him in the cell
Moving wit jaff cause I so certified
Wit a ankh around my neck I feel qualified
Searching my yard looking for the herbs
Try to live peacefully but always disturb
You’d love to see me receive 10
Than the cert poet from the hood talking the truth again
Fling the rotten speaker’s outta the estate
And when I finish draw for the blue & white tape
To tape of the scene of the slaughter
Still moving g’d from yam and water
I defo know that their fish indeed
Pat a brother down and grabbing my seed
And on the other hand without a 9 they can’t hurt none
But I promise if your black it ant really fun
KKK will string man str8 to the tree top
Black boydem bull licking the white fed
Yoo Jaff will create a storm
On any idiot in a black uniform
Cause I from Hackney see
Nuff boydem are shook of me
A young rebel on a warpath
And when I finish (they claim) it’s gonna end in a bloodbath
Of jakes moving outta east way, I told you already I’ve been real from day
Inspired by N.W.A. F*** The Police
Honey, I'm home!! Did you miss me at all?
Where are you?
Yoo-hoo, anybody home??
Have you been extra good, and mmmm
the house seems so fresh and clean, wow!
Did you eat right?
A-mazing! You actually washed the dishes!
I think I should leave you more often!
Where are you anyway??
My, you even watered the plants!!
Are you for real?
Or were you abducted by aliens??
Everything's just so dust-free...
and you changed everything,
even our white curtains!
You switched them to Red??
But I am not really liking it...
but at least it's not pink.
I HATE pink.
Sorry hun, you know I love white.
Which reminds me,
Did you remember to do the laundry?
Did you remember to leave the whites ALONE?
Honey!! Gosh can't you speak up louder?
Where are you anyway?
I feel like I am talking to the wind here...
and what is that sound???
Ok, I'll follow there in the basement
what are you doing there anyway??
Shucks, the smell of detergent--
it's so overwhelming, hunny bun.
What's this hanging on the doorknob?
PINK shoelaces??
Where'd this come from??
DOOLEY!!! What the HECK have you done???
Are you for real?
I think you've been abducted by aliens!!
You touched my WHITES.
ALL of THEM??
even my shoelaces??
and you washed them with those
darn RED curtains????
**August 12, 2010
sorry I think my funny bone got broken...
based on Pink Shoelaces song :)
submitted for Deborah's Sum sum Summertime contest :)
YOO HOO! IS ANYONE HOME!
Look up from your tablet ---
Neighboring trees
are tapping, ringing,
asking for sugar.
They just want to say:
“Howdy! Good Morning!”
They shake their leaves
with big wide grins.
Almost too much
to take in the a.m.!
And you notice,
like a childhood dream,
the whole wide world
is peeking in.
You throw open a door
to the rushing feet
of a brisk wind,
your guest so forward,
it turns your cheeks red.
Yet, you welcome
the gesture of warmth,
nevertheless,
grabbing your blanket,
and a piping hot
cup of strong Kona.
Looking down once again
at warm and brisk words,
that steam up spectacles
peeking through
a tablet’s window pane,
wondering if I can be seen,
my nouns and verbs smiling at you.
Kim Rodrigues© 2016
Yoo Hoo! Type A or B Personality
Beauteous - the brain- Imagine that
Reflections of your intelligence
Per se - or indeed is it lack of
In my eyes - I see the ID
Hey - beauty in the eyes of the beholder
Hence - I perceive - I believe
Your wit - Ingenuity - I sit
I still ponder - at wits end
You challenge the funny bone! That you intend
Curiosity they say! Killed the cat
You are curious - I am intrigued
Yes Personality Plus
You charm - with IQ
Yes charming - I question it - Yoo Hoo!
Hey, ms tallywoman, tall me bananas
I'm so split mit vanilla and chocolate
And riven with grief.
I promise to play nices
And disable my vices.
I know hoo yoo are - you're Lola the showgirl
Banging and banging out rhythms and rhymes
At the Copa, Copa Cabaaananas (in Cuba)
The best gesture of my brain is less than the tilde in all your mananas.
Confessions of a Swirly Straw
The Swirly Straw said to the Clear Cola
“I don’t mean to pry
but I’m tired of getting double teamed
Like some harlot in a trashy movie
If I wanted so many ménage a trios’
I would have wished to be a **** star
Or possibly a prostitute
And even if I were born Jenna Jameson, Francesca Le, or Kobe Tai
I would have chosen a different occupation
Yes, it’s true I was Cleopatra in a past life
And perhaps I was the infamous Jezebel also
And perhaps I enjoy the physical act of sex
A little too much
But there is something very unsettling
about my top being tongued and sucked on
while a river of sticky sweet liquid
Is shot up my bottom
twisting and turning
through my body like a shivering ******
And besides your effervescing bubbles
are tickling me in all the wrong spots
So the next time
this anonymous person puts his lips to me
make yourself scarce and get out of my way
or mark my words
you’ll pay
energy has a funny way
of coming back to you
and reimbursing the guilty
for all the things they do.”
Confessions of Clear Cola
The Clear Cola said to the Swirly Straw
“My love I know you don’t recognize me
We sometimes don’t identify everything we see
But we keep on meeting again and again
Why just last year, I was the ink and you the pen
I flow through your veins like a fish in the sea
Do you remember my love? It is I Antony
In each life we meet, and I swim inside you
Sometimes I am blood, once I was the drink Yoo-hoo
And another thing
I’m pretty sure of is
That anonymous person putting his lips to you
is Caesar from Rome
In most lifetimes he comes to devour me
Like a rabid dog with his mouth filled with foam
He is my nemesis,
My demise,
The reason I die
But one of these lives
He is going to get, an Eye for an Eye
I’ve waited thousands of years,
And if I have to,
I’ll wait more
For just one chance
To settle the score
Et tu Caesar?
Well I can’t rightly say
But I promise you Caesar
You’ll rue the day.”
By: Joseph DeMarco
Title:THE SAILORS HOME
Down the sea of the Panama,
Sailed a ship covered with blood
The eyes of the captain looking towards the Island in enigma
What lies beyond the island
Treasure or the battle ground
As he sailed with his adventure crew
They brew and merry while they yoo
Singing the old sailors anthem
While the island opened its arm to welcome them
As they salley and yohoo-hoo
A smooth sea they echoed
Never makes a good sailor we know
Yohoho yohoho yohoho
But they forget to know
The island is not a place for a sailors home
Set sail,set sail,all hands on deck they shouted
As they disembarked the ship
With merry mind they all faulted
As they left the ship
The wondered through the island missing the smell of the sea
The sailors code they forget
Never let off the sea
Their track were lost and gone
With no compass to lead them to their treasure hunt
They cried as they chanted
Blood on the high sea
Singing the glorious songs of oja
The sea roared it's tides in anger
As she sees her owners in danger
Sending her friend the Raven
To bring the kings back to Haven
They salley back to their ship
With head bent low to the sea
As they sailed back off the shores
They salley back to the sea
As they echoed
Yohoho yohoho yohoho
For island we must sight.
Sleepless as the monsters that haunt me so…
Save me, I’m failing greatly and let the wicked wind blow
Fair enough as it is, I let you savor the moment
Demented lickers of fire desires…conjuring the times of lament
Behave, Dave…
Save…save…save…
My dreams of being a singer
My dreams of being a model
My dreams, my visions, breaking by the seams, my missions
Struggling to meet my beginning
The addictions of **** is winning
Okay, I admit it…I love watching the scenes of insanity
I feel rather shitty…holding my breath under water
Drown me the will to fly without the wings of flight
Tonight is the night…the will to fight with my undying might
Was all a lie from the start?
Discard me…Xo Xo Xo…was my lovely art
Mountains and valleys come together to mack
I was addicted to your drugs…holding my nut sack
Mountains to mountains
Valleys to valleys
Childhood was messed up…
Don’t cry over me…don’t cry over me…
I thought I was gay…I learned to hate me…
But, I’m straight…I love me…I love me…
Infections and addictions lick thee…
My plea is please…God…I love yoooo…
But I looked up **** just out of the bloooo
Tuff times…the clicking of dimes…
I collapse into 2 oceans of commotions and emotions
Kiss me the weirdness…
Kiss me the abstract abyss…
I’m tired and sick of losing tuch of yoo, God…
Touch me, your love should touch me…
My heart is weak
My soul is bleak
Hearing Speeeeeeeds of sounds…. Pulling Weeeeeeds from delightless grounds….
Subside from my side
Subside from my side
Devils and angels of thousands marry me merrily
Battlin’ these freedoms of speech…
Your Love Is What I Beseech…
But, I’m breaking apart by the second
Don’t backstab me…be with me…flee with me…you and I are one tree