Look What You Are Teaching Them

"I saw some road kill on my way over," she said. She had a horse laugh. "Just a dumb raccoon," she added. I leapt over the sink and slapped her, hard. Leaving my entire hand print on her cheek in pink. Her prissy stuck-up lady face looked stunned. She stood up, and ran off without any more incessant yapping. My husband walked out of his man-cave just in time to see her running flat out past the picture window, clutching her purse. "Playing with the new neighbor?" He guessed. I glared at him. "The woman pushed her way in with a 'yoo hoo', She was not invited." "She doesn't share your love for animals?" he guessed. Oscar Opossum pushes open the cupboard doors under the sink, wanders out and chomps noisily from the dog bowl. Sophie, our most spoiled cocker spaniel growls. Reggie Raccoon runs over and slaps Sophie. "Look what you are teaching them!" My husband says to me, horrified. "Reggie is a raccoon," I inform him. "She TAUGHT slapping to me!" I doubt this nosy neighbor will be back, Which is a perk because I truly and deeply Like my woodland creatures much more than pushy humans.