Best Wig Out Poems

(This is a true story from 2001, when I let my
hair grow back to dark, and I fooled a few people
who thought the wig was still my own hair but with 
a different shade of blonde!)

Growing roots meant bad hair each day;
bought a wig to...

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Two girls whisper something
I know they are talking about my hair

One of them has long straight sleek hair that reaches her mid back
The other has short hair that's smooth and silky 

Of course I can tell that the long hair isn't real, neither is the...

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The girl had her groove on she 
laughed a lot and was hip and 
not too heavy going. At seventeen 
I needed an old lady to go to the
prom with. Not wanting to wipe 
out on my first try I caught the 
groove, Taking my...

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Up up the fly away wig doth go revisited and revised April 19th, 2023

IM pen named Pilot Jane A. Rug
who ascribes to writing poetry
as opportunistic, holistic, and cathartic
warming me body electric
courtesy an outsize 
warm brimful coffee mug
I savor and slowly chug.

Toupee piece blew off me...

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We leave on vacation to see the Grand Canyon 
I ask my son when is the last time ha changed his socks, his feet smell like 
salmon 
My wife laughs and says that isn't his feet, it's his breath 
I tell her no more equate...

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The moon 
put on her wig 
of stars
that trailed across
the universe.

If I get
stuck 
out on the sun
please don't
try to comb
me out.

I am the farmer
that
plowed
the field of stars
in your 
field of vision....

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he’d bought a skull rug for that spot
high on his head where hair was not

but …

it brought him rash and scalp decay -
one horrid nightmare’s “hell toupee”









Copyright © Gregory Richard Barden, February 28, 2023...

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When a wig maker saw my wife's hair, he adored it.
He wanted it and said that he'd pay top dollar for it.
So I cut me wife's hair off while she was asleep.
She walked out the door after calling me a creep.
Perhaps I did go too...

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Pierre's upscale wig shoppe sells fine toupees
Gus said, "This one I want to buy today."
   Gus was ready to spit
   'Cos his wig didn't fit
Pierre smiled ~ "First get a haircut, OK?"...

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borderline borderline

                                           strike...

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Up up the fly away wig doth go revisited and revised March 10th, 2022...

Went off for hair raising shindig
donning noggin of villager in Nigg
(historic county of Ross-shire,
historic region of Ross
and Cromarty, northeast
coast of Scotland).

Somehow postiche crossed the big pond
once belonged to magician,
who could create static...

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They could not wait to see what grandma’s newest wig would be.
Prepared for almost anything, she was whimsical and full of glee.
They began to laugh and point. The youngest one said “whoopee!”
She created a sassy and hippy-like wig that was totally punky.
My whimsical grandma for...

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It's thrilling
But so is this poem

I want to take up a most profound authority
Throughout the neighbourhood

A village pastor
And various pursuits of a similar kind

Give me my own planet
My own earf

Postmodernist scumbag
And cowboys from hell days

I want to hear the new Beyonce album
Between the buried and...

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The pigeons of Trafalgar Square
Are feathered, yet lacking in hair.
They'd look erudite,
With wigs powdered white,
But wouldn't get up in the air....

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bright colored feathers
dancing romancing red cheer
wig a gig heart big...

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