Best Ween Poems
“My God” said St. Peter “how neat
A donkey head for trick or treat!
Just two feet? I want more!”
So god gave him four
off he ran hee-haw bleat!
There Gabriel stood with his horn
He said God I really am bored!
With a poof he’s reborn
With a tail and a horn
For tonight Gab’s gone unicorn!
“Well, Heavens!” Said Beelzebub
“Now ain’t this a fine rub-a-dub!
“Can I play?”
“YES YOU MAY!”
and poof he’s an apple in tub!
Yes, God is a Hall-o-ween gaffer
And the night rang out with HIS laughter
Ghosts genuflect as they fly
Vamp’s morph to good guys
And Hosts raised a toast to hereafters!
Welcome to my naughty Halloween
Meet my dark and beautiful dream
On this night she's a witch
But by day not a stitch
So she's a stripper, but she's still my Queen
Ha-llo-ween
In the dead of the night witches fly
On their broomsticks across silken skies
There they practice their art without fear
On this one frightful night of the year.
Trick or treat is the cry of the young
As they hover round each hearth and home
Unaware of the dangers they’d meet
As they knock on the doors down their street
Dressed as zombies or demons or ghosts
Grisly faces look totally gross
With ‘terror’ they scream as they play
On the eve of that sinister day
With their cauldrons of sweets they return
Safely home without cause for concern
As on All Hallows eve when that clock strikes thirteen
The undead then reclaim Halloween.
Heather Buxton 2014
Here's a cautionary tale that must be told.
Listen to me, be you young or old:
after something has long been growing mold,
don't ever say (this wisdom, I strongly tout),
"I almost tossed it out".
Maybe, I should have tossed it from the fridge,
but I only nudged it a little smidge
(behind the eggs), and never crossed that bridge.
I should have taken a different route,
I only almost tossed it out.
It was delivered by mail from far away,
well in advance of Christmas day,
sent by my great-aunt, sweet and grey.
I'm not sure what I was thinking about.
I almost tossed it out.
Days turned to weeks, and as the seasons passed,
I was not taking action very fast,
thinking I might eat Auntie's gift at last -
her generosity, I could not flout,
yet, I almost tossed it out.
That fruitcake lived inside a cheery can,
inside of which something strange began.
That chunky treat hatched a hideous plan
as it sat next to the sauerkraut.
I had almost tossed it out,
and then one day on the fourth of July,
I thought I'd open it and give it a try.
It lept out, strangled me, screaming, "time to die!",
with no one to hear my regretful shout,
"I almost tossed it out".
Remember Maxine Who Us Will Ween with Vaccine
remember Maxine
who we know will always ween
us with her vaccine
Annual Cat-ween party was in full swing.
Bells were chiming off with a ding-dong-ding.
Cats were bobbing for catnip apples sublime.
October trees cringed as young cats did climb.
Dancing and carousing in front of the moon.
Witches watched hungrily as ghosts did a swoon.
Cats as magical, mystical familiars are well known.
Their herbs and spells daintily home-grown.
Ghosts and goblins tried to crash the Cat-ween.
They were escorted by Dracula, never again seen.
The vampires and gargoyles laughed in delight.
Loving the Cat-ween on this Halloween night!
Witches coo
goblins moo
Jack-o-lantern's puzzled
Ghosts wave 'Hi'
spooks are shy ~
All-Saints-Day unmuzzled