Best Ugh Poems
The inhuman toadie, that does not have your voice?
You want me to call you, I have made a choice.
To listen to Mr. Techno Man, for me is a total crucifixion.
Hearing the same inhuman male across the USA, shows
our disrespect for others as pieces of pulp fiction.
Even dogs have different barks, and I do prefer them
or the true silence of a natural park.
So, the phone is a dead issue for me.
It's the Covid of the year, for this member of society.
Texts, too~are a deep sword in my soul.
They seem to rejoice, in telling me where to go!
Technology replaced humans so long ago.
They can even create poetry or didn't you know?
We don't have to fret and weep over elephants dying.
The human race is already killing itself off, and I am one
who, in virtual reality, is most assuredly dying!
I need not fear dying, I am already there.
That obnoxious answering machine is an avoidance lair.
That empty, lonely feeling of being insignificant and worse,
unloved.
Please put your own voice on a real answering machine.
Pressing buttons is a nightmare and for telephons companies,
a huge money making scheme!
10-26-2029
Poem# 1
A house in motion near an ocean ... cautious one to leave.
A highland house owned by time affects one ... wakes to a place in whites.
A house boarded by healed one ... one's beach house welcomes New Year.
G;Geico commercials B;(you knew this was coming); Billy Mays commercials U;
hour long imfomercials
G;Big, juicy homemade hamburgers B;White Castle belly burners
G; Best fast food place;by far;All American, Massapequa N.Y. (check it on web-
always, and rightfully rated number one B-white Castles (ugh;belly burners!)
G; Music played with syyle and heart B; Gangster rap/ Disco
G;Family gatherings B;Alone in a dingy room
G;A nice warm shower B; Having no showerhead
G;Staring at TV test patterns for hours (told ya I was weird) B; Gamey game
shows
G;A nice warm sunny day B;Heavy rain and your roof leaks
G;Creativity B;Malicious destruction(other than a Billy Mays tape)
G;Cooking and eating with family /and/or friends B;Alone with a bag of pretzels
G;Enjoying swimming at the beach or pool B;finding a great white shark in your
pool
G;Words of love and encouragement B;Mean words of anger/hate
G;Good poetry B;My poetry usually
G;Peaceful sleep all through the night B;Cronic insomnia U;Being awake for 8
days (as I too well know...one's mind turns into oatmeal)
G;a love of beauty B;Loving your own beauty
G;swiss or cheddar cheese B;Limberger cheese U;Liederkranz (ugh! clear the
house!!)
G;A full refrigerator (including Tootsie rolls) B;A rerigerator full of food expired 6
months ago, and now home to strange new species
G;Catching a mouse B;doing the same, but with your teeth
G;Courteous drivers B;New Jersey drivers
G;Religious faith B; Fundamentalist extremists (of any religion)
G;Room deodorizer. B;Dirty unwashed socks your air deodorizer
G;A trusting marriage B;A busting marriage
G;Acoustic guitars B; Acoustic torpedoes
G;M&Ms B;BBs
G;good books used as tools B;Mediocre books by fools
G;Cleavage B;Seepage
G;Being in a band onstage B;Overfilled audiences leading to rage
G;Jessica Simpson's looks B;Jessica Simpson's mental acumen
G;Eddie Murphy on stage or screen B;Eddie Murphy in real life (I know!)
G;Being loved and adored B;Being lonely and too bored
G;Some money in your pocket B;Your finger in a socket
G;For Bush to get a Lobotomy B; News of Bush's colonoscopy
Enough for now folks. Have a painless day!
Tha lil ugh-gy duckin...
...Waa-uh-uh...a BAT lookin baby!
An somMO (I don mean jus maybe!)
Growt up in a house-boat shack
Way downt-ere in ole MAN-chac
Ain lyin!! (An I AIN hat no toke)
Ugh-gy baby make BU-tam-ous foke
All LAFIN an bubbly an-DIN!
Dat black hair and daak Creo-skin!
Guess who I be TALKIN abouts??
Wha-uh SWAN dat de LORD dun turnt out!!
For my beautiful black-haired Bayou Manchac granddaughter - DIXIE!!
This is rural southern African American dialect. It is used in the present-day Delta and central Mississippi regions...I tried to state exactly how a good friend of mine from that area might describe my grandaughter, who was am ugly baby but turned out to be beautiful both inside and out...
“Hey Fat!!! Sit down and shut up!”
starts with butter on the butter on the corn
half-baked concepts dragging from the board ‘cross the floor
up to my pen. . . damn, this Prof. got two, too many blackboards
she wasn’t looking at my feet when she said, “Size doesn’t matter”
“Is that your tuba?”
bring back the bumper sticker, I want: “Baby I’m Bored”
take the nearest bus, a street-whale lobtailing curbs
turn up your iPod and mosquito ‘em all
nothing like that tin sound in the a.m. to make murderers of us all
“Bum a smoke?”
sometimes all that’s required is rust
yup, I worry about that pair of shoes I threw out back in ‘82
are they cursing me for being next to whatever’s in that plastic container that’ll be here a
thousand years from now?
“Gotta do the floors.”
Ugh, Why Must The Missus Vacuum At The Crack Of Dawn?
(circa: early December 27, 2018 morning)
There appears to be a
virulent (possibly deadly) strain
of housekeeping virus
Hoover ring in the air
asymptomatic tentatively linked to rein
deer droppings (micro-organisms) blare
ring and trumpeting beyond
the threshold to humans, though plain
lee send audible wavelengths
to symbiotic species clear
as a bell, which organisms don
nano size MAGA hats, and main
lee set up shop in carpet threads,
and chiefly thrive on deer
pellets, where one bee bee
gun size bullet serves long lane
of critters unseen can easily
make headway into ear,
eyes, nose, et cetera other
orifices, and Kane
inject unsuspecting vacuum sealed
byproduct to forswear
unsightly piles of dirt, debris,
dust bunnies, which Jain
Dharma would find
appalling horrifically glare
ring at desecrating supposed germ
carrying pests calling utterly inane,
the constant effort
to keep house beautiful heir
ruled ding disinfectant resistant,
whether mite tee Germaine,
or itty bitty teensy weensy siblings
many named Oh Fair
Roe One Wade for me, nonetheless seek
out porous fleshy terrain
allowing, enabling and providing
pinhead size portal
i.e. vector to engineer
transmitting a fast
acting alien entity
without any explain
nation, an immediate urge to spruce up
the place applying interlinear
trigonometry (of course adhering to
Feng Shui when rearranging), without drain
ning, lessening, zapping,
et cetera, but meer
really loose sing a whirling dervish
(mini tornado) fiercely
finding the spouse on feverish spree
to clean entire apartment chain!
it has worked. i believe so. not thinking of you. but the hurt and pain has made me blind. has
it? possibly. i lost a friend by choice. no not you. another one. im happy. im liberated. yes.
but one less person to have let go if i never would have met you. ugh, everything everything
revolves around you you you you!!
I once had a butler so dapper
He had but a slight stutter
On the grounds we once walked
To find treasure of sorts
Wh.. wh.. he stuttered
I know I countered
Then why'd you step on it
He questioned
just cried
dont feel bad i have nothing to hide
im not hurt really as i am sad
because of what i couldve had
wish i could change it but i cant
wish i could get better easier like a plant
always regrowing so easily like nothing had happened to it
all they have to do is sit
i just wish you wouldve been mine
i would have tried to see you shine
your always on my mind
and always will be like a bind
stuck to my brain never moving all would be fine
although your not going to be mine
ill stay after you forever like a dog
chasing a cat like a human hunts a hog
so dont feel bad
im not all that sad
and dont think
that my love will shrink
i was always there
just like the wind in your hair
and i always will be
oh youll see = )
you will be mine in the end
because i am flexible with time, i can bend
i can wait for you
until your through
but im here to tell you
what im going to do
im going to make you mine no matter what
your not going to shut
me out from your world, ever
because im to clever
to let you slip by this time
ill catch you like a lime
falling from a tree
just to me = )
Mommie do I have to eat these green beans and broccoli?
Mommie do I have to deplete these green beans and broccoli?
Man, mama yo sure is...mean
Makin' me eat them there broccoli and green-beans.......UGH!!!
8/20/19
Written words & arranged music by James Edward Lee Sr.2019©
Nothing annoying is going to bother me today.
It is the perfect weather, the sun is shining.
The cardinals are trilling, the violets are waving.
I'm ready to embark on my four hour trip.
Uh-oh. Three lines of cars are stopped.
A blinking sign says delays.
Okay. I can handle this. No problem.
New blinking sign; it says lane closures.
I feel a little bit irritated when I drive over six orange cones.
I am waiting now for the world's slowest pouring cement mixer.
I try not to take my eyes off the road as I watch it pour the slow moving stuff.
An overweight flag man attempts to stop me.
This infuriates me. I drive around him and go faster.
I see a sign that says ten thousand dollar fine for speeding in a work zone.
Highway patrolmen are chasing me now.
Road construction. I hate it so!
Worst dream ever
why must thoughts of you render my mind confused and doubtful?
why cant you just escape my mind forever?
a certain song, a certain word or saying brings you upon my thoughts
its NOT right NOR is it fair =(
you left me in despair yet i have no hate towards you only sorrow
for you had promised me tomorrow only to snatch it back in a blink of an eye
you left, no i left, why cant i fully accept that this is how things should be?
why must a strand of hope still shine in the abyss of darkness?
is this my punishment for doing what i had wanted?
for you to linger on my mind like a shadow....
.
Tear are flowing from disturbing news today
A very sad event, on my heart it does weigh
Devastating in nature
A Poetry Soup neighbor
Was attacked, a friendship now in decay
Darn rules are getting harder to read
Millimeters, centimeters
Might as well put millipede
A 1/32
Maybe a 1/64 and 1/2
6 centimeter minus .875
A 2:1 pitch=5 holes and one inch
10 millimeters to the right
Has anyone found my mind yet?
Free verse is a form
i am a form to be dealt with
day in and day out
my form is sometimes here and i can smile and hope
but then my form turns and i stare and see nothing
a phone call a visitor will force me to look too
my form is left behind for awhile
I sit at my desk and focus on my work, this is my form surviving i am here
one bad critic shakes me out of my trance
i feel defeated once more, i say to myself this too shall pass i can go there
Some days i'm good some days i'm not so good
i free verse to release a bit of this this I cannot name
i only know that sometimes i am here and most days i am there
my body reminds me i am here
it begs for food
it churns for water
spirit wants to enjoy the cool air at sunrise and sunset
when i'm there i ignore my wants
weakness in the soul keeps me there...