Best Traumatic Poems
My known, soothing landscapes,
grown from my own hues and shapes,
somehow vanquished their view.
Just one more sore blister of news
to aid my staid mind’s gist of confused.
My angered fist punched tears in their wake
before my shock shakily jot them on a list
of all my heart sought to restore propped.
Truth and I both awoke the first day of last September.
Coffee bound, then mumming around, it was not
long before I felt scared and anxiety provoked ~
?? ... the kitchen was in disorder,
nothing in its place * as I thought it over, I
realized all rooms were oddly rearranged *
back in my room, I paled at a stranger's
face in the mirror, a white-haired woman
wearing my face * the scales said I had
lost 20 pounds some place ... ??
I sagged to the floor from facts scored.
Should I wake my sleeping man to
answer my questions and more?
My fear decided I should hide
inside ignorance while I had the
chance. I was scared once truth made
up my bed, my life might fully
deplete under my own sheets.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Though details are clouded, I have surely been rerouted.
I try but fail to decipher what all determined this matter.
Prime pieces of me were clearly scattered blind-battered
by forces cemented to time-tatter my mind demented.
It feels as though I have been divorced from myself
by means of some unleashed, bruiser intruder.
I lack all recall of three times three hundred and sixty-five days.
My doctor cannot explain what dementia did to my brain.
Here we hid when we heard
A knock strongly---a sudden clattered upon the ground
Everyone indoor shrieked, trembled
Out... out..... we heard
They separated males from females
Sans bother how small we were
They guided us to the boot camp field
Gave us lives and death train. Rubbed ours and
Their faces with slurry that as dark as ackee seed
Handed each with weapons. To mamas males were living dead
1939th of september to1945th of september
The days were long gone, but still remember
Told us show mercy to whom fall by your way you are dead
Victory it our goal. Words of venom and
Drug infused made our heart to strong as harden wood
Mansions become ash by fingers tamped
Animate breathless by stabbed
Stick. Raise countries devoured by swallowing lips
May the old and youth of this and coming generations
Not experience such; the heroes and
Heroines that go to rest nurture as cradle in right hand.
An interview with a veteran who happens to a victim.
Possibly the most difficult battle I've ever fought.
Timeless struggles of my mind.
Scenes of human depravity lurk behind my closed eyes.
Disturbs my daily routines and demands attention.
Divided under the cities
streams mapping decisive
endings while toiling about
the beginning boldness
reaching for braising
characters galloping
amidst a certain angst
we’ve devoured nothingness
and opened the sky
with truth thrashing
tempers meaningful tools
craving an emptiness
above the continuous
Bayshore a quiet offering
pelicans landings sinking
yet surrounding the
jaded light house that
withered to soon exposing
only the dim lantern leaning
to one side still brightening
the rippling waves
Written by Yolanda Nicholsen
April 7th 2014
getting injections
for traumatic brain injury
as I lay beneath the twillight
of my perpetrual youth
why under a knights cloak
I'd withered very quickly
saddled beyond self an unconscious
metaphor idealistically reaching for
melancholy congressional desires
morbid meetings of the mind
I could only invision
through dark windows
in my head I'd drifted
calmly into madness into a sheer
sleep state of awareness
a rapture of small panting's
kept me ajar amidst the emptiness
of bruised brain matter so well crafted
while dreaming in pieces
You should feel ashamed.
What are you an idiot?
The woman is standing there with a baby crying in her arms.
The train is starting and stopping, rapid, erratic, uncaring.
Get the hell up and give this woman your seat!
God, you'd think that Tufts education would give you even a shred of common sense.
Unbelievable.
You should feel ashamed.
He is your blood.
You don't turn your back on him.
No matter what he says to you, take it lying down.
Like a doormat with too many footprints,
he'd stomp you into the ground so flat you'd barely qualify as human.
Disgusting.
You should feel ashamed.
I am your elder and caretaker.
How DARE you be fresh with me!
(Smack!!)
There, now your shame is made manifest
in a handprint across your cheek.
Do not misbehave.
Deviant.
You should feel ashamed.
A sinful heartless monster.
She was just a little girl . (i was just a little boy)
All for gratification.
God you make me sick.
Perverted.
YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED, BIG TIME
THE VILE HORRIFIC THOUGHTS IN YOUR MIND
I MADE YOU IN MY IMAGE
GO AND TELL THE PEOPLE
GO AND BURN DOWN THE CITIES
GO RAPE AND PILLAGE THE INNOCENT
THIS IS WHO YOU ARE
BECAUSE THIS IS WHO I SAY YOU ARE
IF YOU QUESTION ME EVEN FOR A SECOND
I SWEAR ON MY LIFE GOD WILL STRIKE YOU BLIND
A SINFUL HEARTLESS MONSTER
I MADE YOU IN MY IMAGE
DEATHWORSHIPPER
(ok ok i get it.
but i don't think i should feel ashamed.
because shame is misdirected anger,
and anger is another name for fear,
none of which are even remotely loving)
(so i'll tell you what we're gonna do...
you can all feel ashamed on my behalf.
you carry the overwhelming guilt, the recorded evidence...
i am a sinful heartless monster)
(just keep repeating that to yourselves over and over again,
and leave me the hell alone.
i'll be outside on a long overdue leisurely stroll.
believe me, i could use a breath of fresh air)
Teenagers not taking
Responsibility
And causing
Utter
Madness, sadness
And
Trauma while
Intoxicated.
CRASH!
The day my mind folded over the highway.
in sunny Florida citrus surrounded me
the breeze was just right as oranges danced.
with lemons scents the sun dazed my sight
as the ground rose up to greet the vehicle
panic arose first responders pronounced me.
Doa, I thought this was a rapid heart rate.
not knowing it meant I was nonresponsive.
gravely I opened my eyes 30 minutes later.
to a pinkish beige sticky substance splattered
across the dashboard and window vainly
I began fixing my face realizing this fleshy.
sticky glue came from underneath my eye.
in which my eye was hanging by now desperate?
so happy to be alive I was flighted out while.
I was being mended by Jesus finally slipped.
into a coma to wakened on the third day unable
to tie my shoe because I was three years old again.
I could only recognize. primary colors like red,
blue green, yellow, purple hurt my brain.
I no longer could hold a fork hitting my cheek with
the fork every time tried to eat; I cried when I should.
be laughing I also laughed when I should be crying.
my young children became my parents teaching.
me to tie my shoes holding my hand across the street.
I wasn't fond of this new brain injured girl I'd become.
who was she? what did she want looking back at me?
in the mirror searching for herself searching for me
the lady I was right before the impact my hands.
are sweating panic attacks created a sense of loss.
doctors' insurance companies arrived sign here dear.
here and initial here my mind hurt I forgot how to pee.
traumatic headaches aroused my temporal lobe.
a sinking feeling allowed me to feel pain severe pain.
my balance was way off I stood with a lean vertigo.
as if I was always standing on a ledge or a cliff.
when I was standing right at my front door.
lifelong therapy medication writing continuously.
to keep. my brain working in use dreading dementia.
or possibly Alzheimer lot's wires connected to my head.
I'm shaking full of fret my life has so much meaning.
every day with traumatic brain injury a beautiful find
is indeed the first day of the injury a coping mind?
She placed her dreams in starshine's bright design
where she believed the galaxy would guard them
from incidents and accidents that might shard them.
She trusted stars to lifelong harmonize love's song.
Wearing confident styles, she traversed fickle miles
before finding a grand love that would surely thrive.
Now, she barely manages life or pajamas without strife.
Gone is her strong and else she wished meant to belong.
Her frantic emotions fast crashed in gray-bashed static
and just her sofa holds her in tear splotchy folds.
Wishing to be free of depressions dark torture spree,
she lives with heart bruises and painful mind debris.
Numbness blurs her pathetic in swirls of decrepit
that pick at her feel-fabric already shredded traumatic.
She cannot define when their end started its doomed sway
but recalls when he left with her 'besty' on a final, total away.
Tries to kill himself.
Rather die young than
Achieve goals.
Unsure about
Making a bright future.
Acts like a follower but can be a leader.
Tries to get out of trouble but
Instead, continues until something bad happens, then
Cries when not heard.
the awakening again night sweats wet sheet
a cold damp room filled with gloom screams
wails sighs distant cries the war on the mind
has began all over again passing through
enemy territory life exploding like bombs
quieting thought mere panic send familiar
waves throughout your body gun shots loudly
rang out the soft beating drum of your own
infant heart beat takes over wires surround
your womb deep inside hostage situations
the calmness gathered beneath drenched
covers from the trenches of a mental break
beating down your self consciousness while
fight flight abruptly arrive to rescue you the
sinking helpless feeling of darkness overwhelms
you while you recite i matter an yet the enemy
is invisible taunting teasing tampering with your
inner most peace ripping brain matter tasting
blood of traumatic events severe violent hardship
your body trembles your mind captured you quietly
lay there helpless asking where is chaplin where is
red cross you are alone within your own rapture
heart pounding pill box fall to the floor mental
health treatment on the other side of the door
I was fixed in front of my parent's grave.
They were quiet as the tomb was interned.
There were only two people that were brave.
I was fixed in front of my parent's grave.
We have no soothing words or blooms to save
They shared their emotions, and I feel burned.
I was fixed in front of my parent's grave.
They were quiet as the tomb was interned.
Written: May 10, 2023
Let the revival and return of vitals be crucial to expose your potential/
Drop denial it’s a vicious cycle/
This brain heal doesn’t appeal to what his feelings reveal or what he is mentally able to conceal/
This life’s like a fish and a reel so surreal/
Seems like everything you feel will feel like you and the devil are making a deal/
Don’t revel towards that trail there’s only poison to inhale/
With this game so frail and fragile I’m the killer whale you’re the dolphin turning pale/
Don’t go partial come out swinging full of will never in a standstill/
So watch my spiritual fill like I’m eerily dropping an anvil/
What’s been on my plate you can’t handle/
I’m on my own mantel speaking conceptual it’s you my zen will tackle/
It could be fatal and non-curable/
A rebuttal would prove not ample/
You’ll need a certain credential to come at this word tool/
I’ll make you drool while you swim in my rhythmic pool/
So just grovel at my gruel/
You’re more than uncool I’m such a fruitful mule with this writing utensil/
You’re skills I will repel/
I just stand tall while I heard you yelled for help or some bail/
Like a farm without a hay bale you’re lacking skill or not able/
I’ll never teeter or topple in this brain heal I put on my table/
I’m completely corrigible
I'm sorry was you not expecting a reaction
What was I supposed act like the didn't happen
And I prayed for an angel to save me
But when Mama came to rescue her baby
You called it kidnapping
You thru my hero in jail
And sent me back to hell
For the devil to finish his "kid-napping"
I was told to tell you I fell
as it starts to sting and swell
You called it attention deficit disorder
I call it being ignored
So tell me was it something I said
Or was it something I did
That gave you the right to do what you did
Did it make you feel big
Raping your own kid
And this life will be the death of me
As you see there's nothing left of me
And I got to live with what's left of me
And if I make it through this life alive
Well kill me
I hope I live long enough to die
And my destiny is not to live but to die
I won't be silenced
And my revenge is violent
But never will I cater to your lies
You are everything that I despise
What you done to me cannot be disguised
I don't even care of the hell you put me through
Never will I ever be like you
And now I'm feeding my dopeaphnes
Mithafedsamnes
Im letting you get to me
Deprived as I'll ever be
But this is not me
Life ain't what it needs to be
Trying to live life's expectancy
Even though there's nothing left of me
You still expect from me
Well I hope you seen what you came to see
Cuz that's all the f##k you're getting from me
TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY WITH A HAIRLINE FRACTURE CRUSHED NASAL ARCH BASILAR SKULL FRACTURED CRUSHED EYE SOCKET BEING A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY PATIENT RECOVERY IS BASICALLY LIFELONG WHILE COPING WITH SEVERE TRAUMATIC HEADACHES MONITORED BY PAIN MEDICATIONS PAIN MANAGEMENT 12 INJECTIONS NERVE BLOCK EVERY 25 DAYS OPTIC NERVE DAMAGE LIKE TINY WIRES BLOOD VESSELS THAT CARRIED SIGNALS FROM MY BRAIN TO MY EYE COPING I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND CARING FOR ME TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY LEADING TO MY TWO STROKES ON BLOOD THINNERS TO CONTROL BLOOD CLOTS FROM SMALL ANYURESM 3MM BASILAR TIP LEARNING TO WALK TALK HOLD A FORK TIE MY SHOE TYPING WITH ONE FINGER KEEPING MY TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY JOURNAL MY ILLNESS VERTIGO PARTIAL BLINDNESS EVEN EARLY ONSET OF DEMENTIA FUNCTIONING HEALING COPING WITH PTSD ANXIETY DISORDER PANIC DISORDER DEPRESSION SURVIVING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE I FEEL TRULY BLESSED HEART RACING WITH ATRIAL FIBRILLATION I STILL HAVE HOPE SUFFERING WITH THE REALITY TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY DOESN'T GET BETTER IT ACTUALLY GETS WORSE OVER TIME MY HAIRLINE FRACTURE IS SUNKEN IN THE FRACTURE ACTUALLY GREW SKULL FRACTURE IS THE WORSE THE FORCE FROM THE CAR BOMB EXPLODING MY FACE WAS SO POWERFUL THAT IT CRACKED MY SKULL FROM EAR TO EAR UNDESIRABLE PAIN IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE ALL THE BONES IN MY FACE IS STILL BITING MY BRAIN TINY BONE FRAGMENTS FLOATING AROUND MY BRAIN ORBITS CAUSE MORE DAMAGE AND YET THERE IS NO WAY TO REMOVE THEM UNLESS I WAS DECEASED THATS WHEN THEY COULD REMOVE ALL MY SKIN FROM MY SKULL SO MY PAIN IS BEING MANAGED TO MAKE ME AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE MY HEAD FEELS HEAVY NOW HARD TO HOLD IT UP MY FACE ACHES MY EARS ARE RINGING BALANCE IS OFF BUT I AM NOT ALONE I AWAIT MY BRAIN TO SHUT DOWN ONSET OF DEMENTIA I WRITE I WRITE I WRITE UNCONTROLLABLY I KNOW THAT ALL PART OF TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY WITH A HAIRLINE FRACTURE TRYING TO WRAP MY MIND AROUND UNDERNEATH MY HEAD OF HAIR IS A GIANT CRACK IN MY SKULL FROM EAR TO EAR I LAUGH AT MYSELF A BOMB CRUSHED MY FACE CRACKED MY SKULL AND BRUISED MY BRAIN MY NEUROLOGY SAINT SAYS I SHOULD HAVE DIED HARD TO BELIEVE I SURVIVED SUCH A HORRID TRAUMATIC EVENT