Traumatic Memories

You should feel ashamed.
What are you an idiot?
The woman is standing there with a baby crying in her arms.
The train is starting and stopping, rapid, erratic, uncaring.
Get the hell up and give this woman your seat!
God, you'd think that Tufts education would give you even a shred of common sense.
Unbelievable.

You should feel ashamed.
He is your blood.
You don't turn your back on him.
No matter what he says to you, take it lying down.
Like a doormat with too many footprints,
he'd stomp you into the ground so flat you'd barely qualify as human.
Disgusting.

You should feel ashamed.
I am your elder and caretaker.
How DARE you be fresh with me!
(Smack!!)
There, now your shame is made manifest
in a handprint across your cheek.
Do not misbehave.
Deviant.

You should feel ashamed.
A sinful heartless monster.
She was just a little girl .  (i was just a little boy)
All for gratification.
God you make me sick.
Perverted.

YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED, BIG TIME
THE VILE HORRIFIC THOUGHTS IN YOUR MIND
I MADE YOU IN MY IMAGE
GO AND TELL THE PEOPLE
GO AND BURN DOWN THE CITIES
GO RAPE AND PILLAGE THE INNOCENT
THIS IS WHO YOU ARE
BECAUSE THIS IS WHO I SAY YOU ARE
IF YOU QUESTION ME EVEN FOR A SECOND
I SWEAR ON MY LIFE GOD WILL STRIKE YOU BLIND
A SINFUL HEARTLESS MONSTER
I MADE YOU IN MY IMAGE
DEATHWORSHIPPER

(ok ok i get it.
 but i don't think i should feel ashamed.
 because shame is misdirected anger,
 and anger is another name for fear,
 none of which are even remotely loving)

(so i'll tell you what we're gonna do...
 you can all feel ashamed on my behalf.
 you carry the overwhelming guilt, the recorded evidence...
 i am a sinful heartless monster)

(just keep repeating that to yourselves over and over again,
 and leave me the hell alone.
 i'll be outside on a long overdue leisurely stroll.
 believe me, i could use a breath of fresh air)
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Caliri Avatar
January 18, 2010 at 4:25 PM
There's a lot of undealt with complexes here...an amazing sort of outpour of buried anger and waves of torment in the write. It's distressing in mood, and in such simplified language ti comes across bold and direct, though I worry if art is a little lost in favor of shock.
Smith Avatar
January 18, 2010 at 10:35 AM
great poem here! srtuck a chord with me thanks!
Mason Avatar
January 3, 2010 at 1:34 PM
Well yes indeed after all that, fresh air is welcome ... LOL ... great write here Yoni !! Thanks so much for being here at the Soup !!
Loveless Avatar
December 14, 2009 at 11:33 AM
your art is amazing. please, never stop writing..... always, R.
Lokken Avatar
December 3, 2009 at 12:40 PM
This is...cutting. I don't know, just cutting. It tugged at some of my own personal issues... You have made your point. Best wishes, Sara
Freeman Avatar
December 1, 2009 at 10:16 AM
I am taking my Q on Dane's comment Yoni, Hi! Instilled mistakes within the children, just keep repeating themselves over and over. Thankfully some children have the backbone necessary, to break the vicious trend. Par your comment; Thank God tho, the City is being built one member, one soul, one brick at a time, even in troublesome times, to bring to pass Love's manifest. Sincerely, Moses
Docherty Avatar
November 29, 2009 at 6:00 AM
An unusual, hartfelt and interesting write, well done. Anna-Marie.
Anderson Avatar
November 28, 2009 at 12:39 PM
yoni.... you are my brother and the blood...err.... i mean the the love is obvious. real talent is rare thats why your appreciation seems lacking. envy is a jealous mistress... let'em hate, brother.
Smith-Johnsen Avatar
November 27, 2009 at 2:27 PM
Yoni, This peace gets the mind involved. Really involved. I guess is shows how some parents control their children and break down their self esteem. But when they are grown, they can make their own choices (If they survived the brainwashing...) and live free of ridicule and breathing life anew. Is that close? Lovingly, Dane (Soup mail)
Golden Avatar
November 25, 2009 at 9:11 PM
Yoni, this piece is multi-dimensional, deep, rich, striking, inspiring, excruciating, and thought-provoking! I hope that you understand that I completely respect anyone who can (and WILL) express themselves and their beliefs so eloquently. Nicely done. Hugs, Donna
Kendrick Avatar
November 25, 2009 at 2:54 PM
Thanks for the comments on Cigarette Man that my grandson wrote for it made his day. Interesting write here about things that should not happen in life. Keep the magical pen flowing. Sara
Brown Avatar
November 25, 2009 at 4:10 AM
Such fasinating writing I am reading today. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and heart with us today Yoni. I wish you a weekend filled with love and inspiration. May your writings inspire others to write from their hearts as well. Love, Carol
Chircop Avatar
November 24, 2009 at 3:19 PM
deep poem..still pondering each verse..shame guilt anger fear,,a whole chain they are,,the monsters in us,,lets take some fresh air,maybe find the angel in us:)..im sure we can find it in you Yoni,,excellent work--Charma
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