Best Toaster Poems

Mike and Victoria decided to get married
They lived together for seven years - too long they had dallied
They jetted off to Mexico to get wed
Lets have a party in the UK they said

We won’t make a wedding list we don’t like greed
We’ve been living together...

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<                                       Toaster Strudel - Trochee

  ...

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Oh, my beloved toaster,
How you start my day with delight.
Your warm embrace, a comforting boast,
A breakfast staple in every right.

With your sleek design and metallic sheen,
You toast my bread to perfection.
Golden brown, a sight to be seen,
A joyous moment, a breakfast confection.

Through thick and thin,...

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One should never put socks in the toaster
The smoke will billow out and be quite a choker
And the smell... ouweee
Stinky poo... you'll see
Save yourself, run outside and suck in fresh air-ster...

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Ever since my early days of youth
I've been questioning
All the hidden secrets of life
And exactly what it means

So imagine my excitement
When I climbed the mountain top
And asked the man of wisdom
Just what it is he thought

Where he said...

Life is like a toaster
With people dropping in...

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Toaster Bed
I’d like to buy a toaster bed,
of the boldest red.
 
Happily,
it would heat me up toasty hot
and butter my backside,
before projecting me out
of the bed and into the shower,
at a designated hour
each morning.
 
Where shall I place my order?
Bloomingdale’s
Or Neiman’s?...

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you don't butt
er up before
putting
a slice
of bread
in the slot

you do that
after the
some
thing
pops 
up...

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albino
bread
catches
tanning
rays

gentle
warmth
embraces

hot
hotter
besieging
heat

smoke
pollutes
kitchen
air

vitality
incinerated
no
bread
only
char...

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Today is Edgar’s birthday
And the third year in a row
That the famous caped “Poe Toaster”
Has decided not to show.

From 1949 for sure,
And maybe years preceding,
The Toaster visited Poe’s grave,
And not to do some weeding.

With wide-brimmed hat and scarf and cape
To keep his ID hidden,
He’d sneak...

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The toasters on the blink.
I don't care, I'm leaving you.
I know you like your toast in the morning, but that's a bit extreme.
I've met someone new.
You never mentioned that last night when you were screaming, more, more.
That was goodbye sex.
I think I'll get a brown...

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We (the missus and I) kvell for Katz TOASTER PASTRIES!

I prefer to craft a poem
for no rhyme nor reason
expressing heartfelt pleasure
to our highly refined palate
versus presenting tasty, yummy
and zesty nutritious snacks
exuberant feedback courtesy Tik Tok.

Aside from harkening from Semitic stock
me and the missus
relish those (Katz)...

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Thor, chief of thunder, so grand, 
Tried to fix a small toaster by hand. 
With Mjolnir's great might, 
He blew out the light, 
"This 'appliance'," he boomed, "I don't understand!"

©bfa031625

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1 crumpet. 2crumpet 3crumpet, 4
You no you shouldn't eat, a single crumpet more
Then there's crumpets 5, 6 then your at 7 crumpets more 
Soon the 8th crumpet is also onboard 
Apparently the 9th crumpet didn't appear although the truth about that is a little unclear,...

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A toaster can be shocking
and it just might take your life.

You might someday poke yourself
with spoon or fork or knife.

Tripping on a stairway,
could also end your days,

to count the chance to leave this world,
there are so many ways.

But worry not the little things
or what your...

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