Best Tetchy Poems

In the morning, he was tetchy, but gentle,
Sitting beside me till my eyelids opened
I sat up, yawning, and rubbed my eyes
His hand brushed a dry tear off my face

“You are alive and well, I see, gentle spirit,
Even with me you thrive on the hidden joys...

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Glowing days that were once red-cheeked and ripe with promise,
Are narrowing like tall candles in a church window,
Tapering from the golden stand and the sturdy base,
To the glorious flame and the ever fading light.
The final birth of dreams that was once distant and cold,
Is now...

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An alien abducted me
In his turbo space machine 
He has promised he will set me free
If I help him find a queen .

Well I believe in true romance 
I listen as he reels off his queens necessities
As he spoke I kept thinking '' No chance...

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After making the trip to Bar Harbor in Maine,
we set off on excursions within that domain.
In the midst of events, aggravating, arcane,
we began at a loss.

We embark on a most unpredictable task -
touring Cadillac Mountain with fog as a mask. 
Fifteen hundred feet high and...

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The Hermit
Part 1

Beyond Two Sullen Hill, not too far away,
Lives a solitary man, bitter, old and grey.
Known as the Hermit with heart of cold,
His life of unpleasantness is often told.

Many believe you would turn to stone,
If you caught his stare whilst on your own.
Tetchy and...

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He/him (ratty, scrawny, 
and tetchy ugly villain)   
scurried into dark recesses of hermitage
averse to cavort, frolic, inure himself
into the duplicitous schemes
capitalized, glorified, popularized

courtesy vanity of *****sapiens
lest imp of the pervert 
already sacrificed as renegade
hashtagged heretic condemned 
without merciful intervention
after being duped into...

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I lie there with contented bliss
As though awaiting that princely kiss
It worries me that in years to come
I will be horrified showing my bum

Will life be kind, will know no fear
Not with loving parents always there
To  guide me through life's tetchy path
To happiness and love...

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This teetotaler turns to tea
torquing temptation
towards tippling
thankfully, though
that tremendous tugging

teasing tendency thirst trumped,
thru teaching this totally tubular
toothless titular Texan thuggish tyrant
(titled Tsar Terry Troutman)
transcendental theology

tenets taught transferring
torpedoing, taming threatening
titanic tsunami tempest
tastefully tickling temperance
testing trying taut tenacity

together teaming (troika)
triumvirate torchbearers
transsexual therapist
(Tony the tiger)
tough trailblazer theoretician

toady treacly...

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Recluse by dint of circumstance

Proud anonymous troglodytes 
forerunners of mine
confronted threats less horrific
than forty fifth commander in chief
of United States of America.

He/him (matted hair, ratty, scrawny, 
and tetchy ugly villain)   
scurried into dark recesses of hermitage
averse to cavort, frolic, inure himself
into the duplicitous...

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Pain in the ass devoid of dreck
inapropos poetic material what the heck
more unbearable than crick in neck
shiver me timbers, I feel like total wreck
the (see) Edmund Fitzgerald, si?.

Spasmodic cramping imposed
automatic rhyming abbreviation
comeuppance (analogous to daggers
stabbing derriere courtesy constipation
far worse fate than death – abdication

among living...

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cuz poisonous toxins sting like scorpions
severely crimping ability to sit down absorption
radiating throughout every
cell guaranteeing abstention
against hidebound contract, no

ifs, ands, nor but tucks
whereby mood linkedin
to nihilistic abstraction
particularly as quasi pincers jabbed
like sharp serrated knives acceleration

guaranteed, where bum rapped cheekily
prospective hemorrhoids increased accentuation
pro bono (cher red)...

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Taking Today's Tumblerful Tea Time

This teetotaler turns to tea
torquing temptation
towards tippling
thankfully, though
that tremendous tugging

teasing tendency thirst trumped,
thru teaching this totally tubular
toothless titular Texan thuggish tyrant
(titled Tsar Terry Troutman)
transcendental theology

tenets taught transferring
torpedoing, taming threatening
titanic tsunami tempest
tastefully tickling temperance
testing trying taut tenacity

together teaming (troika)
triumvirate torchbearers
transsexual therapist
(Tony the...

Continue reading...

Glowing days that were once red-cheeked and ripe with promise,
Are narrowing like tall candles in a church window,
Tapering from the golden stand and the sturdy base,
To the glorious flame and the ever fading light.
The final birth of dreams that was once distant and cold,
Is now...

Continue reading...

Tasteless pelt whiffs of mundane air
Against my nostrils numb with dread; 
Scarcely fathom I what spectacle fair 
Beyond this umbra curtain latent lies. 

Tetchy harbingers over dark corners
Lurk under dismal mirage-like cloud; 
Tomorrow's dreams in eldritch lines
 Occlude wisest presages renowned.

Each day's bleak bulletins present
Chillily...

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THE ASTRONOMER’S RETURN

An astronomer tetchy but famous
When his theories were placed in question
Returned this contortive suggestion 
“Why don’t you go gaze at Uranus!”...

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