Best Sperm Poems
Sperm Whale Dementia.
Here I am an old Sperm whale,
A swimming in the deep,
Sucking on the Crill, inhale,
As fearless I do leap.
And then I come to surface,
And clarity does seep,
Dementia nursing home this place,
Me poor old bones do creak.
Back beneath the water,
A swimming in the deep,
Happy as a tadpole,
More Crill to maybe eat.
Back up to the surface,
Who is that woman here,
She says she is Molly Brown,
A rellie so sincere.
So come visit sweet Molly Brown,
I may be far away,
Or surfaced with a puzzled frown,
A sperm whale here today…
Don Johnson 22-aug-11
Active macho sperm told the passive egg
I am turned on darling eggie are you on the rag?
Eggie smiled and tumbled
Sperm's bollocks are bumbled
Eve pinched Adam's bum, " your dizzy balls sag".
you said I could not cook
it was an accusation
a condemnation
a comparison
with your mother and
other women of
whom you approved.
I did not meet the standard
I was not womanly
I failed all forms set
by you, your family, the island
never having been taught, I never learned.
My fear was huge.
You were contemptuous.
I was less than less.
a nothing naught
that nevertheless
had to provide
had to make
each day a life I thought I would be given.
which was wrong
but I could never stop
long enough
could never be still enough
could never breathe in and then out
understanding at last my life was my
own and never yours and so
was mine to make or mar.
My heart hurt worse when our dog died.
And I wrote a better poem about it.
12/31/2013
Creature of deep seas
Battle scars from giant squid
A rare appearance
Stay well hidden from whalers
Inspiration of Melville.
A. Green
ALICE WAS A LOVELY LITTLE SPERM
Alice was a lovely little sperm,
Proud of her slender flagellum arm;
In pearly white semen
Lived a nasty cayman
Who ate her up to make a quorum.
Thinking back To the past
I always knew it wouldn’t last
You were nothing more than a dumb ass
With no class
Just a clown
Who wanted to sling his dick around
All over town
You used to keep me down
What I ever saw in you is a mystery
All you ever caused me was misery
Can’t believe how long it took me to see
You were no good for my daughter or me
All I wanted was the perfect family
But a father wasn’t something you ever wanted to be
I knew raising my baby girl was going to be up to me
And from your spell I needed to set myself free
Thank God he gave me strength to finally say so long
Finally made me see I had done nothing wrong
And it was time for my daughter and I to move on
and be strong
Without you in my life at first felt like I had been stabbed
In my back with a knife
But I began to learn that that wasn’t the way love was suppose to feel
And it was then I began to heal
But I ain’t gonna front on the real
some days were hard to deal
I had been broken you played me like a game
And I was just some token and your daughter
was just a word left unspoken
I admit it is long over due
Getting over you
To get to this day
to get rid of the hate
And finally wipe the slate
Realize this was meant by fate
before it is too late
I no longer want you to kiss my ass
I have forgiven you about the past
Today I just want to say
thank you for Giving me my daughter
Desirae Renee
Form:
nature's way of saying
I love what you do with your tongue
mom used to lick her hanky
to clean my face I want to kill her
aided by my only allies
the hobo armies of doom
resulted in a sweet tooth with no answers
for the impenetrable slits of her eyes
the crowd was aghast
so I knew we hit the glass jaw
now back to the scheduled program
our man Swigheart Backhoe
reports from Flat, Nebraska
on the next Heads of Kings exhibit
down at the Crusader camp
I'm trying to figure out why sperm motility
hasn't created a master race yet
The best of millions fighting upstream like
Steelers' running back Don Quixote
over a million years and we still end up with
politicians with red putty noses that go honk
and readers of the Weekly World News
who renew their state of alarm by the minute
we're not one step closer to kingdom come for it
sperm motility then is as effective an indicator
of Darwinian uber selection
as a chicken on a rotisserie spit
is an indicator of barnyard vitality
you are alive right give yourself a pinch
let's use sperm science to give the 2nd raters
and mediocrities a chance at the brass ova
the modern science of magnification
can certainly arrange for a
shiftless layabout sperm
to take a poke at the moon
enough with this Mother Nature swill
put the couch potato, the hysteric
the derelict pants pissing wino sperm
up the beanpole and see who salutes
Mother Nature eats her young
and writes checks for the
Eugenics Foundation of Savannah, Africa
does God have someone
telling him what to think
so go for it you little tadpoles
get in there you little champions
From "Engine of Didactic Beauty" available on Amazon
Artist Portfolio: http://walteralter.site11.com/
suitor sperm stops tired
sheds tears for days princess dead
he melts in red river
© rajat kanti chakrabarty
Will Voters Rule Sperm are Persons?
By Elton Camp
When a recent referendum was voted down
There came a smile after the initial frown
Another group of folks, protection needed
So to arrange for another vote they speeded
Folks down there in the Magnolia State
Have had a scientific revelation of late
What they see nobody can rightly assail
“Sperm aren’t just cells with head and tail.”
They have looked at them with a microscope
And what they saw almost made them choke
A tiny baby each little sperm does contain
And so, alive, discharged ones must remain
Birth control methods designed to kill sperm
The severest punishment by the law will earn
Condoms and contraceptive foam are crime
Their use merits the death sentence each time
Women merely provide a warm and moist place
Where early development the babies can face
So sperm should be granted the law’s protection
Kill ‘em & you will, for prosecution, face selection
At state borders checkpoints will then be erected
So that any illegal contraceptives can be detected
Big Bubbas will be keeping the sharpest eye out
For any vicious serial killers who may be about
I believe a fertilized egg to life has a right
But I am not trying to make it a public fight
When the public votes on matters like this
The need for moral decisions is easy to miss
(Note, you might enjoy googling “theory of preformation” to gain insight into the historical background of the idea that sperm are actually tiny humans. This write is SATIRE and should be read as such. Mississippi has no plans for such a vote.)
Doing A Sperm Count
There was this old man at the family clinic, he was handed a container....
His doctor wanted to check on his sperm count number....
He was to return the next day after having done what was necessary....
But all he did return the next day was the container, fresh and clean and totally empty...
To explain why, the old man started to astound the doctor...
Explaining how nothing happened even with the involvement of their lady neighbour...
If you're usually quick on the take....
And allows your imagination to run ahead...
You'll be like the doctor in this little incident....
Shocked to the bones that this old couple even involved the next door neighbour...
Hohoho.....
Imagine the desperation of this old couple...
Busy wrestling with the container to get it opened...
Using the right hand grasp, then the left hand...
Had in between the knees tightly grasped as in the hands...
The old lady, with and without her teeth, tried her best....
As luck would have, her best efforts were not good enough...
Hohoho...
Arlene their friendly neighbour next door....
She was invited for a go, even between her knees she tried....
It was all for nothing, the container just could not be opened...
O my God, what were you thinking actually was happening....?
OMG.... What a dirty mind you are having, doctor!!!!!
His black sheep
Dark skinned, a chubby with brown eyes
Hair so fluffy, as he wished it was blonde.
Ugly to his eyes, even more pigchunky
That even blows off my confidence
I tried acting bubbly but her pain crushed my spirit
I've been boiling an ocean,
His critics as he keeps raising
Leaving me in the cold
His only daughter I am,
I don't even understand how He throws me with a hatred blanket
Managing to call me stupid in every silly mistakes I make
And yet fail to recognize every good thing I make
My existence he makes me question
Literally he brings gloom to my room,
But i try to bloom,
For her sake yes
Course she is the rose in my garden
That she born me in her womb, does not pass her thought
Unlike "he" whom I even feel like addressing as a sperm donor
Course a father figure he failed in me
I am my mother's favorite child and yet my father's worst daughter
With reasons I don't know
Only if I wasn't excelling at school perhaps,
But, I am fortunately an A student
And Among my peers I'm the brightest,
And yes, I'm not an excellent athlete but I do best.
Only if I deliver rotten potatoes at him perhaps,
But I only clothe my words and actions with honor
Hence, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the hatred,
Course I see myself as a blessing,
And it hurts how he treats me as a sin
It is all depressing and now I'm confessing
I'm up a creek without a paddle
This is all toxic, and my mind is still processing
How He constantly scold me for no reasons
At all it makes no sense to me
How he keeps playing snug as a bug in a rug
Day after day, Season after season
It seems he never want to bury the hatchet
Im getting a blow off my steam
And I keep wishing this was all a dream
This is my naked pain
And I feel suffocated
Now show me yours,
Show me your naked pain
How can you not love someone so innocent that we conceived?
How can you sit there and reject your seed?
She didn't ask to be here
So why does she have to suffer by keep watching you disappear
It isn't fair to her
It isn't fair that she suffers
No more lies, no more excuses
It doesn't make up time she loses
I'm pissed off, I'm mad as hell
Because as a father, you choose to fail
Everything comes before your daughter
Grow up and be a ****ing man, she needs her father
If nothing else appears important to me
It's my daughter playing with her father happily
Show her the love you say you have
Quit the drugs, grow up and quit being a dead beat dad
In and Out of her life, not even so much as a call
Either you stay in her life or don't come back at all
I'm tired of healing the wounds you stab into her chest
She may not notice the half heart; soon enough she'll ask to her heart, where is the rest?
Don't take for granted the time I am trying to get you to spend with her
Because she's not going to stay a toddler
And nor will we hang around forever
Form:
Insatiable - Quest For Perfection historically
From The Republic of Plato's Socrates
Offspring with high intelligence, comradery
Athletic, science minded, co operative
Tailor made 8 cell diagnosis selects finest
Anxious embryo developer keen to accelerate
Pleasurable reflection held in liquid nitrogen
White gold filled syringe holder operates
Selective patronage of top notch chromosones
Sought out the prestige of Nobel Bank of Sperm
Files boasted outstanding bio father credentials
Mothers maintain reputation of ability to discern
Nobel's demise came in failure to maintain stock
Eugenics launched acceptance of IVF technology
Petered genius imput, deposits from general flock
Duped recipients faithfully awaited tiny prodigies
Varied outcomes, 215 proclaimed, now adults
Demonstrate unclear connection between elite
Genes giving invincible humans as sure result
Driven by nurture to thrive, rationale incomplete
9th September 2020
Kai Michael Neumann, Sponsor
Clutching At Straws
Right off the bat he was ejected
It was either sink or swim
All the other sperms were in a cell
One little sperm out of 1.5 billion
Only a one time shot he had
He tried to climb the wall
For he could not swim at all
He ran into an egg hanging by a thread
It seems all the others got lost
Swimming up and down stream
He hit and hit this egg with his tiny head
He finely broke in and what did he see
The most beautify embryo of all
They became attached to each other
Neither wanting to leave until the birth of you
Imagine this: You were once 1 in 1.5 billion
Tell me you are not special
Dear father I mean sperm donor I really can’t believe you’re washing your hands of me as if 14 and a half years wasn’t enough time without me by the way I'm 16 now for a hot second you thought you wanted me but then you didn't get your way and you dropped me like a call with a bad connection and the way you did it left me breathless
sitting on the front steps of my grandma’s porch as hot tears rolled down my face ready to pass out hoping I die in my sleep remembering as a little girl I used to wish for you every birthday every Christmas every holiday I asked for you hoping that one day you’d come into my life and stay the saying every little girl wants their father has never been more true than today
I let you in thinking that this time would be different filling myself up with false hope I had the courage to come talk to you even though I knew you weren't trying to hear it continuously begging for your love and affection even though you treated me different
I still wanted to be perfect for you thinking it would make you stay and want me, hacking apart my body and losing you holds the same pain
it’s like you only wanted me around to say you were apart of my greatness when in reality you were apart of my depression loving you hurts me and although I still want it I realize that your love comes with more pain than I can bare
I'm sorry things didn't work and im sorry you felt unloved we started on the wrong foot but it wasn't my fault I've spent my whole life wishing for you but maybe it just wasn't meant to be and thinking that hurts me
one day you will feel the pain I feel and beg for my forgiveness my love and because I want to be better I will forgive you but for right now I'm the angry black woman Tyler Perry himself wrote about...
Form: