Will Voters Rule Sperm Are Persons

Will Voters Rule Sperm are Persons? By Elton Camp When a recent referendum was voted down There came a smile after the initial frown Another group of folks, protection needed So to arrange for another vote they speeded Folks down there in the Magnolia State Have had a scientific revelation of late What they see nobody can rightly assail “Sperm aren’t just cells with head and tail.” They have looked at them with a microscope And what they saw almost made them choke A tiny baby each little sperm does contain And so, alive, discharged ones must remain Birth control methods designed to kill sperm The severest punishment by the law will earn Condoms and contraceptive foam are crime Their use merits the death sentence each time Women merely provide a warm and moist place Where early development the babies can face So sperm should be granted the law’s protection Kill ‘em & you will, for prosecution, face selection At state borders checkpoints will then be erected So that any illegal contraceptives can be detected Big Bubbas will be keeping the sharpest eye out For any vicious serial killers who may be about I believe a fertilized egg to life has a right But I am not trying to make it a public fight When the public votes on matters like this The need for moral decisions is easy to miss (Note, you might enjoy googling “theory of preformation” to gain insight into the historical background of the idea that sperm are actually tiny humans. This write is SATIRE and should be read as such. Mississippi has no plans for such a vote.)