Will Voters Rule Sperm Are Persons
Will Voters Rule Sperm are Persons?
By Elton Camp
When a recent referendum was voted down
There came a smile after the initial frown
Another group of folks, protection needed
So to arrange for another vote they speeded
Folks down there in the Magnolia State
Have had a scientific revelation of late
What they see nobody can rightly assail
“Sperm aren’t just cells with head and tail.”
They have looked at them with a microscope
And what they saw almost made them choke
A tiny baby each little sperm does contain
And so, alive, discharged ones must remain
Birth control methods designed to kill sperm
The severest punishment by the law will earn
Condoms and contraceptive foam are crime
Their use merits the death sentence each time
Women merely provide a warm and moist place
Where early development the babies can face
So sperm should be granted the law’s protection
Kill ‘em & you will, for prosecution, face selection
At state borders checkpoints will then be erected
So that any illegal contraceptives can be detected
Big Bubbas will be keeping the sharpest eye out
For any vicious serial killers who may be about
I believe a fertilized egg to life has a right
But I am not trying to make it a public fight
When the public votes on matters like this
The need for moral decisions is easy to miss
(Note, you might enjoy googling “theory of preformation” to gain insight into the historical background of the idea that sperm are actually tiny humans. This write is SATIRE and should be read as such. Mississippi has no plans for such a vote.)
Copyright © Elton Camp | Year Posted 2011
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