Best Somewhat Poems
Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the DayIf love is a game I need a referee
If sex is a game I want instant re-play
I played the game of life but fouled out
Life stinks (Forgot to take a shower his morning)
Just my luck, life was but a dream and my alarm went off
Does...
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Categories:
somewhat, funny, life,
Form:
Light Verse
Somewhat Injury-ProneFirst grade, pelted with eggs
Second grade, broke both legs
Third grade, fell down the stairs
Fourth grade, clawed by a bear
Fifth grade, ran into a tree
Sixth grade, twisted a knee
Seventh grade, concussed my head
Eighth grade, fell out of bed
Ninth...
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Categories:
somewhat, growing up, humorous,
Form:
Light Verse
Five Somewhat Kinky Lines Concerning LoveIf love is just a game we need a referee
If SEX is just a game I want instant replay
She stole my heart and as a result, I became a heartless person
SO, when I asked her to have a heart she said “Heck no, I already...
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Categories:
somewhat, funny love,
Form:
Epigram
I Write This Poem Somewhat In FearIt was just after I posted
My last two poems
Our precious poetrysoup
Went Ka Boom
With hope I pray I wasn't the cause
Of the dreadful fall
But I must get something off my chest
My son-in-law is climbing the walls
You see he read his poem
And called me...
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Categories:
somewhat, fantasy, funnyme,
Form:
Free verse
Somewhat More Than a Phenomenon - FaithSOMEWHAT MORE THAN A PHENOMENON - FAITH
FAITH IS A POWERFUL THING…
F alling to my knees in prayer,
A sking not but worshiping the Lord.
I am only a crusader for the cause of creation.
T herefore, I bow unto The!
H e will hoist my spirit and embrace my...
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Categories:
somewhat, appreciation, devotion, faith, how
Form:
Acrostic
Somewhat Twisted Thoughts Concerning PrecipitationNEVER venture outdoors when it's raining cats and dogs
It rained cats and dogs during a drought and the farmers were NOT amused
It rained cats and dogs and the county WORKERS were not amused
However they were grateful because there had been recent layoffs
Due to inflation, every...
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Categories:
somewhat, funny,
Form:
Light Verse
Even More Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the DayON THE ROCKS
Talk about bad luck, I hit rock bottom and broke a leg
One advantage to hitting rock bottom is at least I know which way is up now
I hit Rock’s bottom and he promptly kicked my bottom from one end to the other
It...
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Categories:
somewhat, funny, me, day, horse,
Form:
Light Verse
Caution Somewhat SexualIt's one a.m., he decides it's time go to the club.
He is wearing a pair of tight jeans and a white T-shirt
tattooed to his torso. A lit cigarette in his mouth seems glued
to the top of his lip. He walks to his own...
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Categories:
somewhat, betrayal, senses, sensual, sexy,
Form:
Narrative
somewhat obedient
this is the tale of jim drew
who did what mom told him to
except for the dishes
when they ate cat fishes
then he would quickly skiddoo.
...
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Categories:
somewhat, children, fish, funny, giggle,
Form:
Limerick
More Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the DayI made a wish upon a star and really got burned
I made a wish upon a star and left Madonna breathless
I hitched my wagon to a star but forgot my spacesuit
The stars in my eyes turned out to be black holes
I couldn’t rise to the...
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Categories:
somewhat, funny, philosophy, star, star,
Form:
Light Verse
Somewhat Repetitive Fickle Foolish FootlesOverweight law enforcement official:
Whopper
Copper
Nickname for a rather pudgy Charles Dickens Character:
Whopper
Copper
Overweight Janitor:
Whopper
Mopper
Big fat lie:
Whopper
Whopper
Lockjaw:
Chopper
Stopper
Highway Patrolman pulling over a Hell’s Angel:
Chopper
Stopper
Louis XVI banned the Guillotine and thus was nicknamed the Great and Royal:
Chopper
Stopper
Church secretary to parishioners in a confession line: ‘Lunch break! In...
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Categories:
somewhat, funny, giggle, life, drug,
Form:
Footle
More Somewhat Twisted Thoughts For the Day Concerning PrecipitationSafety tip: NEVER venture outside when it’s raining cats and dogs
The last time it rained cats and dogs the county workers were NOT amused
It rained cats and dogs during a drought and the FARMERS were not amused
When Gene Kelly sang in the rain he got...
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Categories:
somewhat, nature,
Form:
Light Verse
A Somewhat Darker SantaThere was an old Santa from Limerick
Who became so odd as a maverick
He drove all his reindeer insane
When they showered him with methane
And lived the rest of his life choleric.
He was nominated Santa once more
When the weatherman forecast rain to pour
But his reindeer had all...
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Categories:
somewhat, christmas,
Form:
Limerick
It Reminds Me Somewhat of the Wailing French Woman Pz-It’s a double-shot espresso at midnight
Where you filter my dreams into
Have-beens and maybe-nots
And I feel so alone
It makes me shiver upanddown my spine
The lone lines left in the vacant lies
You abridged me with
It’s the smile of warmweather
Chalking up nuances of gators and florida
And orange...
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Categories:
somewhat, introspection, life, loss, love,
Form:
Lyric
Somewhat Confusing Somewhat Amusing It astounded me when my husband felt
no pain when he had his first heart attack,
but bumps his toes and I learn an array
of words in high tone that takes me aback.
It's innate when my dog does a ditty
chasing a kitty in a speeding...
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Categories:
somewhat, boy, dog, husband,
Form:
Free verse