Best Slaps Poems

Tanka – Sea Slaps Shore

Somber cirrus clouds
gathered in tranquil blue sky
as boisterous sea
attacked melancholy shore,
slapping it with tidal waves....

Continue reading...

Leslie Neilson
Straight faced reveals a pun
But what surely made him squirrely
They wouldn't stop calling him Shirley

Leslie Neilson
Armed with wit and naked gun
Genius buffoonery unparalleled
Save for what Peter Seller's Clueso upheld

Leslie Neilson
Dracula loving it as a dead one
Giving Renfield insect currency
And causing Mel brooks an emeRRRgency

Leslie...

Continue reading...

I had broke with me Lilly
to gain the likes of Ms. Tilly
I nicely asked her out on a date with glee
but she told me to jump in the sea
the winds were fierce and the temp was chilly
the waves tossed and slapped  me silly.
I went...

Continue reading...

5:11 a.m.
I woke up an hour ago 
Wondering which school I go to today as I have two
One is Monday Friday, the other Tuesday through Thursday
It took me almost forty minutes to remember it is Saturday.

5:18 a.m.
Dog is barely awake, pink tongue lolling about.
Almost falling...

Continue reading...

Should I not shut my lips
Over what one rarely naked strips?
The dirty that should first be washed,
Then perfumed, before at them rushed…
All that which for eternity mustn’t be revealed;
My lascivious embraces I had better I left sealed;
The vast battering anxieties
Frowned upon by our penalizing societies?

Man...

Continue reading...

I have a gross handicap:
While sleeping retains my cap,
As I read feet in shoes tap
And easily a work “Crap!”

…And spoiled kids’ knuckles rap;
During sermon daring a nap,
Bathsheba survey her lap;
For my trips shun the best map…

Can I crush my handicap?
Enough to energy sap:
Eccentric wings stop...

Continue reading...

There should be clearer signs, 
as a relationship starts to break up
- the hiss of steam, a twist of smoke perhaps 
or debris distributed across a hot,
cloudless, summer evening sky.
That way, the force of recognition 
wouldn’t be so much of a slap....

Continue reading...