Best Sense Of Humor Poems
A slight hint of consternation was in her voice,
“Why did you tell those people I’m deaf and dumb?”
“I never said you were deaf, my Dear.”
She laughed, but I kinda felt like a bum.
Hell. It was just a joke.
One evening, she asked, “Will you love me if I get chubby?”
I responded, “Of course I still love you.
It would take much more than pounds and cellulite
To make me fall out of love…it’s true.”
Hell. It was just a joke.
“Would you remarry if I die before you?” she asked.
I said, “No…probably not…I’ve been spoiled by you.”
“But you’ve been a great husband. I think you should.”
“Whatever happens, happens is the best I can do.”
“If you remarried, would you play golf with your new wife?
And would you let her use my clubs?” she demanded.
I calmly smiled and said, “Your clubs are safe.
You see, my Dear…she’s left handed.”
Hell. It was just a joke.
Then, she whined and whined about her butt.
I responded, “Want to knock some inches off that ass?
It may sound strange, but I heard it works….
Rinse all your panties in Slim Fast.”
Hell. It was just a joke.
The next day, I readied for work, took ‘undies’ from my drawer.
They were engulfed in a fog of white, why I didn’t know.
So, I asked, “Honey! Why did you put talcum powder on my shorts?”
She slyly smiled, “That’s not talcum powder. That’s Miracle Gro.”
Hell. It was just a joke....I guess.
So, what is my wife’s most endearing feature?
Her sense of humor.... there’s no doubt.
Always a smile where angst or anger might have been,
A smile I never want to be without.
ooh! wee!
I've gotsta gets
up and pee
it is the late night's
wee, wee!
i gotsta go and pee-e
can't hold it in
it about to
blow in thee wind
can't hold it back
its about to be
a late night
warm water attack
so grab it
by the swizzle stick
now home it up
and hold it in
till you reach
the late night
watering bin
your inner teeny, weeny
is calling out
to your
inner walls
can fight it
so, off you run
run Forrest run
can't let it out
can't give up
it about
to spray
allover the walls
with your eye
half way shout
your running
like a slow
moving
Three-Toed Sloth
lost in the dark
but you can't
stop now
no! don't give up
emiction is just
a step away
and now weeing
is a look of
satisfaction on your face
aka: lyricvixen
Friday, January 3, 2020
feeling holy every time i sit on the ring of the toilet
labeled church for every one to see
my soul is less than clean as I lower the lid
to read the brand of the unit
porker I flush.
and if in a hurry Tito will do the job
as american standard is occupied.
Harsh is life’s reality.
Each trial we endure is a sword of steel
that pierces the jagged edges
of our imperfect souls.
We cannot escape
the occasional slashes from life’s rapier
that fall upon us when times are hard,
but neither can we get through life
living with sorrow and angst
without a relief valve.
Even in the midst of great tragedies,
humans have found ways
to cope with stress.
I cannot equate my own tragedies
with those endured by prisoners
of concentration camps or anybody else
enslaved by abuse or torture.
For the most of us, however,
we have the spontaneity of humor
to lessen our heavy loads:
the absurdities coming sometimes
from the mouths of children or the foolish;
the funny little blunders we see
that cause us to laugh out loud;
a beautiful day of sunshine changing
to one of rain, causing us to chuckle
for trusting the weather channel.
We can do nothing more than laugh
at things like these.
To dwell on small accidents
or on silly mishaps does nobody any good.
Don’t let life’s rapier
cut you down with despair.
Stress less; laugh more, and especially
learn to laugh at yourself.
Chortle, chuckle, cackle or guffaw,
and by no means, do not always simply smile.
Find a stand-up comedy and let yourself
fall on the sword of belly laughs,
for a good sense of humor blunts
the sharp blades of reality.
Above her pretty head, swirled this dread rumor
She'd absolutely no sense of humor ~
Why? No one understood
She found jokes dull as wood ~
Seems her dad was this corny old boomer
" A Sense of Humor ... "
( A Satirical Moral )
(Part 2 of 2)
A Sense of Humor - Gets Us Thru This Life
A Sense of Humor - Gets Us Thru The Night
A Sense of Humor - Gets Us Thru What's Not Right
'Cause A Sense of Humor - Has It's Own Kind of Might
'You've Got A Dry Sense of Humor'
Said The Sweat To The Sock
'You've Got A Sick Sense of Humor'
Said The Disease To The Doc
'It Takes A Good Sense of Humor'
To Shoo The Fly and Take Good Natured Swats
'Cause You Gotta' Have A Sense of Humor'
To Get The Punchline and Not Get Knocked
'You've A Strange Sense of Humor'
Said Some Sinners, Who Think Its Odd
'But YOU've Got A Wonderful Sense of Humor!'
My Beautiful, Brilliant, Happy GOD ...
(1 Tim. 1: 11)
'For, There's A Superb, Sense of Humor'
In Saying That 'Hell Is Hot' ...
'Cause Some Think Its Hilarious-Humor
'To Face The Full Wrath of GOD ... and Mock!'
Written & Copyrighted ©: 1/7/2014
by: MoonBee Canady
'I've Got A Corny Sense of Humor'
But It Won't Make Any Funny-Bones Pop
And My Sister's Droll Sense of Humor
Said, 'Don't Let Your Day Job Drop'
he he ha ha ha LOL
A rare gift
That gets one through
The most rugged
of life's terrains.
A medicine
For the soul
Worth more than
the most expensive gem;
More valuable than
Material things.
Oftentimes
used to cushion
to soften
emotional blows.
a wondrous gift
that engenders
Laughter
and makes all
that is wrong
with this world
right again.
It reminds us
Not to take ourselves
Or life seriously; this rare gift,
A sense of humor
Date written: 09/26/2021
Be
Able
To laugh at
Absurdities
Of life. Never take yourself seriously
Date written and posted: 06/27/2018
cracks between doors,
like rats, fingers course
thru, corrode against
the inside of a clenched
fist. cease, this silence,
i insist(bite tongue, each
word, penance)suffer,
humor is a sense-
shattered glass tickle
bare feet- the caveat
of clenched teeth. mis-
placed morality, i do
appreciate your sin-
cerity; fate compromised
(the hands of time,
mesmerised in back&forth
instants). "it is okay"
someone will say; but
words change & fall away
like leaves, all intent
bereaved.
Sometimes my sense of humor can be dark, blue and risky,
but I figure that as long as people are laughing along with me,
what's the difference if my humor is clean, gory or dirty?
A fraction of my sense of humor
retains and loves full blown sarcasm mode.
I have to watch it at work.
I deal with children.
They are experts at it.
At home my husband catches my barbs in his glove
Winging them past outfield to hit the fence
So we can remain in love.
Starbucks, Where Is Your Sense of Humor?
By Elton Camp
YouTube is the place his hilarious song is found
And you can easily find it if you search around
There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of mirth
After all, how much is national publicity worth
Just because Chris has made some great satire
That is no reason that you should then fire
If that is the stuffy way you’re going to do
It makes me less likely to buy your brew
Chris only said what many others are thinkin’
While your quite good coffee they’re drinkin’
Your national spokesperson he ought to be
He’d bring a surge in sales, so try it and see
"Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing." –Allen Klein
A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR BLUNTS THE SHARP BLADES OF REALITY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I lay on the table, a modern-day sacrificial lamb,
pillow cradling my head, a fortress of foam and fabric.
Then came Velcro, the sticky embrace of a high-tech straitjacket,
my legs and wrists secured like a reluctant burrito.
Into the tube I slid, a terrified astronaut on a mission,
the ceiling loomed, a metallic sky, almost kissing my nose.
I clenched my hands until they turned white pondering
“Is this what it feels like to be a sardine in a can?
The sounds began, a symphony of whirs and clicks,
the MRI’s own version of a pop concert—
I imagined it had a fan club, “Team Tube,” with its own T-shirts
while I lay there, a star in a very narrow universe.
I tried counting, “one, two, three.” But sigh…
my thoughts were spinning like socks in a dryer.
I imagined bystanders strolling by, pointing and staring.
“Behold! Look at the sweating patient in the tube!”
The minutes crawled, like a snail on a treadmill.
“Perhaps I should have brought snacks
or at least a good book.” But alas, I was tethered,
a captive audience to my own claustrophobic anxiety.
So I lay still, the sounds swirling,
I chuckled softly, because if this is life,
then I might as well enjoy the ride,
even if it’s a little cramped and a little weird.
After all, who needs a spa day when you can have an MRI,
a slow, relaxing rollercoaster ride into the belly of the beast.
Oh, the absurdity of my situation, and the irony of it all—
Here I was, a human pretzel, searching for sanity inside the MRI.
Then, suddenly, the whirring ceased, the ceiling pulled back.
I emerged, a superhero in a hospital gown,
Velcro stripped away, ready to conquer the world
with a newfound appreciation for open spaces.
Poem written for “A Good Sense Of Humor Blunts The Sharp Blades Of Reality Poetry Contest,” Natasha L. Scragg, sponsor, July 29, 2025.
sense of humor
never able to
show you that
funny aspect
of my personality
never was able to
revel to you my
hidden fun side
something always
held my true personality
back from making an
appearance around you
why i just can't put my finger on it
can't figure it out still
maybe it's because of the
uneasy i feel around you
that is the only logical reasoning
for this negative phenomenon
When the starless nights are bleakly opaque,
and the sunless days desolately misty,
to steer the astray life across an ambiguity maze
within the miasma of misery is not easy.
As life searches for the escape route in earnestness,
the whisper of humor dispels ludicrous haze from gloomy recess.
Time flounders in the cauldron of harsh reality,
storm of strife surges with shredding force of discord,
blowing away the shards of the mangled mind.
The splinters fall morphing into drops of tear abhorred.
In those moments of slashing friction
a shared laughter is the lubricant that eases the abrasion.
In the quicksand of expectation hollow inside,
remorseless dangers of desolation lurk.
As the demolished desires subtly subside,
failure makes the life’s tortuous pathway dark.
A flash of humor lights up the gloom of loneliness arcane,
fosters the human spirit in life’s absurdity domain.
Life with tentative future in tormenting times,
writhes in the crushing clutch of stifling suffering.
The bearing of being breaks and bleeds in pining pain,
finds no solacing arms to dedicatedly grasp recovering.
Humor does not refute the pangs of pain sowed,
its relieving support reduces the emotional load.
Unfulfilled wishes damage the dormant essence,
futile promises smother the rays of fading hope.
Shrapnel of words lacerate the lattice of the mind,
actuality turns life into epitome of animosity to cope.
A good sense of humor blunts the sharp blades of reality.
It doesn’t just render life endurable, it makes it a beautiful entity.