Best Sausage Dog Poems
Some folks call me a sausage dog
I think they couldn’t be meaner
It’s not my fault I’m long and short
And look like a misshapen wiener
I’ve got four stumpy little legs
So my tummy is near to the ground
My owner’s take me for a drag not a walk
Guess that's why they named me Cigarette!
01~16~15
Contest: Dachshunds – Rob Carmack
~awarded 9th place~
Premiere Contest #13 sponsored by SKAT
Small and mighty,little and proud
One of the weeniest doggies around
but don't let size fool you, you're in for a treat
I am one of the bravest and loyalest you'll meet
The comical clown who just loves to play
I'll take no time to train if you show me the way
I'll play with your slippers, and sleep on your bed
and then when you're sleeping,lick your face, neck and head.
some say I am yappy but i swear its all rumors
My sharp high-pitched bark is just meant for intruders
I'll roll on my back and let you rub my tummy
I'll do anything for a small treat, if its yummy
potty training can take a while they say
but remember that Rome wasn't built in a day.
oh and dogs can be gassy so please beg my pardon
and I may dig the occasional hole in the garden
But if you're looking to take on a new life long friend
and you promise to care for me right to the end
you don't need to search far or start looking around
choose the 'doxie', the dachshund, the 'sausage dog' hound!
I used to be a sausage dog the floor was very close
I used to sniff it quite a lot I’d sniff it with my nose
and every time I did a poo they’d pick it how gross
they’d carry in a bag but why on Earth who knows
Humans think they're really clever but I don't think it's true
I mean why the Hell would you collect other peoples poo!
Leave my poo alone you wally it's not a gift for you,
I think they collect it because it's not something they do!!
A Great Dane and a Sausage dog were tied outside a bar
The Sausage dog was frisky and his instincts said, ‘Aha!’
And then they sniffed each other’s butt ’cause that’s how doggies greet
The Sausage dog said, ‘Hi there girl, do you think I’m sweet?’
They chatted and decided that they’d do what doggies do
The Great Dane chuckled. ’Hey up shorty, I’m too tall for you.’
But Sausage had it figured and he climbed up on a chair
He boasted, ‘Take a breath because you’re in for quite a scare.’
And as he started thrusting, as had been his master plan
Two stones were thrown up - from the street - by a passing van
They hit the Great Dane on the head, one smooth but one was rougher
She groaned aloud and Sausage said, ‘Suffer baby, suffer!’
Sammy had a little pet it was a little bat
He had a friend who had a cat and one who had a rat
A parrot or a hamster or a little sausage dog
might have been a better pet, perhaps even a frog
For bats don’t purr and bats don’t bark or even parrot-speak
but even in the dead of night his bat won’t even squeak
He thought his bat should have a name, the name he chose was Dennis
For when his mom tripped over it she said it was a menace
So now his bat has got a name and mummy helped him pick it
Then Sammy took his bat outside and used it to play cricket
9 October 2021
Contest: Nursery Rhyme
Sponsor: Eve Roper