Best Recovery From...Life Poems
I reckon that everyone makes changes in their life ---
Some are major
and others not so big
Some we carefully plan
and others just happen
Some changes are as sudden
as a flash of
Lightening
While others take place
slowly with the passing of time
Some changes bring new people -----------
into our lives
While others
Take those we love
Away
Some changes we can see coming
While others we must look back
To even realize that they happened
Sometimes we make one change ------------------
And another just seems
To hop on board
All by itself
Years ago I made a choice in my life
To stop
Being a drug addict
And to become a rehabilitating
Drug addict
And so many changes ------------
Have taken place
In my life -------------
Looking back I now realize ---------
That I have gone from a person --
Who used to start each day
Wondering ?????????????????????????
Who will I get mine from today
To a Person
Who now ask?
I wonder who needs my help today?
And everything else -------------------
Is just Butter on the Popcorn
PPPPPardon mmme bbbut I hahave a sssspech iiimpppedement Ssso could yyou pplease bbear
wwith mme. TThis hhas bbeen mmy llife. Sometimes its nnot as bbad aas others aand other
times it is mmuch wwworse. IIT hhas cccaused mmme mmmany pproblems iin mmy llife. II
aallways gggot iinto aa lllot oof fffights bbbbbecaause pppeopple wwwwould mmmake fffun
ooof mmme. Once I get ccomftorable wwith the people aaround me it almost sseems tto
disappear. When iits jjust my wife, daughter, close fffriends etc. iit dddoes’t bbother me
aas bbad because III kknow tthat tthey llove mme. When its just my wife and I talking it
is so beautiful because I am free to speak my heart, sometimes I sstill stutter bbut not
sso often.
Recently I wwas sssent bby aaa llady nnamed LLinda PPParker wwho wworks ffor ttthe
DDept. of RRhabilitation tto mmeeet wwith aaanother llllady nnamed NNNacy BBBarcal wwwho
iiiis a sssspeech ppppatologist and sshe fffitted mme wwwith aa ddevice nnamed SSSpeeech
EEasy and aas sssoon as sshe ttturned iit oon II tttalked jjust llike tthis. Pardon me but
I have a speech impediment though you wouldn’t know it because I’m now wearing the “speech
easy” device. I know you thought that it was a hearing aid but no my hearing is just fine.
Written for the Dialect Contest. I realize it's not what
was expected but how could I pass on the opportunity
to tell of such an amazing life changing device. If you
are a stutter such as myself I urge you to check out
www.speecheasy.com or www.janusdevelopment.com
it has most certainly changed my life in a big way!
Rebirth and Recovery
As I sit in the waiting room of my physician
I contemplate my life’s position
I think of many nights of wizardry and magic
when all it was, was as a life so tragic
I felt as life had just begun
staying high was so much fun
I was young-felt that time was on my side
but time is a funny thing, you see it never stops,
this I confide.
It seems to me that 20 years passed overnight
my youth stolen by a thief in the night.
The thief I speak of is not man or animal,
but an affliction,
You see, it’s a disease called addiction.
It rakes you in with promises of women,
riches and fame,
but when you’re all used up, all you’re left with
is guilt, remorse and shame.
So here I sit in the office of my physician,
listening to him tell me my life’s condition
and how I’m supposed to die of this affliction,
as I choose to live once more.
James David Rider
8-1-09
Thank you all for indulging me, this was written by husband, who doesn't write poetry, not
until now, and I feel it's something that needs to be gotten out there so here is the first step.
I can’t believe, I am in ICU
Now that I am, Life want to see U
From ICU, THROUGH ICU... ... ...
Retrospecting.... .... ...
Using morality and spirituality as a cornerstone
Devotedly set off to build mansion of success
Laid Foundation solid, walls incomplete for right stones
Fear of losing or sense of deprivation never put me down
FAITH in HIM, not barring belief that I am chosen one
Chose HIS mission to raise the bar in everyone
Now that I am in ICU
Life want to see U, BEYOND ICU... ... ...
Introspecting.... ... ...
Many believe, ICU is a stage between Life and Death
However, Life is stage, ICU the break-in-between
Karma’s audience evaluating life-death cycle umpteen
Worry never resolves, Destiny ever evolves
In HIM Life's solution lies, in death too HIS solution lies
Nobody can create vacuum, NO BODY can fill vacuum
Now that I am in ICU
Life, want to see U, WITHOUT ICU... ... ...
Let go
Of the sorrow
Caused by those who walk low
Like ghosts, possessed by their own woes
Lost souls.
Because
They could not pause
To listen to the sound
Of the spring's clear, pure fountain flow
Love's song.
The voice
That speaks so soft
In the depth of our souls
Words of life and stories of love,
God's own.
Wisdom
Comes to the one
With an ear for the one
Who shares your life for it is you
They chose.
Let go
Of your false thoughts
Coming from unknown ghosts
Loose not your soul in bitter woes,
Death hole.
Love's song
Will be your own
That gives light to your soul
When you taste the spring of life's flow,
Pure gold.
By CarolineCécile
Copyright © 10.01.10
His life is reloaded with indomitable passion
Thirsty for power and lustful enterprises
His love bleeds on the filthy streets
In dreams he haunts his enemies
Committed for no commitments
he whispers into my ears
his dynamite lips explodes my nerves
I break down in his heavy arms
He believes in detached love;
Sex with no strings
Inwardness never ruled his heart
He seeks pleasure in breaking rib cages
For gangsters are born to kill
He has survived the darkest prison
Hell and heaven far from his reach
A brutal death awaits his arrival
Graveyard will smell the flesh
Of this giant monster
My life ends in love with a gangster…
In the wind that blows with the rain
is a man with a past very dark
lonesome he was, and in pain
through years all fruitless and stark
now, life for him is beautiful and new
the tears and fears of old have no power
the long journey is nearly through
as the gale becomes a spring shower
this life has in cycles and circles been led
round and round, up and down, before and after
countless are the tears he has shed
yet sometimes smiles too, and laughter
once a beggar, then a king, then a beggar again
in ignorance and blindness he once stumbled
now dimly seeing, the man does begin
to awaken and realize how he tumbled
it was drugs! it was drink!
it was "i"
he barely noticed the brink
then, shuddering, he...
looked forward, and then peered behind
seeing nothing, then looking back he recoiled
he had been no king, noble and kind
but a knave, a slave, still bleeding and soiled
so close to his grave, yet so far from his heart
ruled by feelings, urges, and addictions
and attended by demons, all playing a part
in dramatic delusions, and fantastic fictions
thinking life was lost, and the end was near
all was in vain, and no credit was due
he set out to change from need and from fear
and he stumbled some more it is true
but that first moment of sight will never be over
a feeling worse than can be described
once a carefree wanderer and restless rover
he became an accuser who couldn't be bribed
that was then, this is now
and i have reason to believe
the way is clear, and is how
to renew, not to fail, or to grieve
and one fine day, clear and bright
the light will grace his rising frace
what was wrong will be right
and he will be done with the chase
In a second my life changed like i could never imagine
The world was all Topsy turvy
and i a floating object in the turmoil
A simple six letter word
Thats all it took to take my stable world away
Upon that fateful day I was 15 and the date was May 12 2008
My diagnosis Hodgkin's lymphoma stage 2 B
My freedom was stolen from me
School i could no longer attend
People i could no longer see
The world was shut away from me
Chemo and Radiation were my companions
Aiding me in my time of need
But the truth in that was they were killing me more than saving
Strong of heart was I
I would not be taken down
I tried to show no fear or sorrow
And now am thought a strong young lady by many others
The most glorious day was when the cancer went away
September 28 2008 i was told
After I regained the freedom i had lost
four months later did my true story unfold
January 12 2009 I knew something was wrong
I was right I had not yet won the fight
Hodgkin's lymphoma was back to greet me
This time worse stage 4 B had me captured
A junior in high school i had been
But now once again I could no longer attend
Chemo my friend, we were reunited
I guess it missed me
This time a new component was introduced
Bone-marrow transplant, Auto stem cell
After tackling these feats I met radiation again
September 2009 i was said to be free
it was like history repeating itself
But this time i was wary
now it is July 4 2010
I am heathy, I have graduated
but the damage my six lettered fiend has reaped upon me is still here
An immune system i no longer have
My life still on pause
But i do not care
Because i know what its like to have your life dissipate without warning
Life is like a flame it can be snuffed out in a second
So remember my words
Please
Dont let any regret into your life
Dont pass a single moment by
Live love and try
it's a second by second struggle that i'm fighting with all my might
i pray to my higher power to help me stay sober today
in that one moment i would get weak and my life as i know it wil end
it's not prison that scares me it's how i'd live with myself
the temptation kills me the urges paralize me the cravings consume me
it's so hard to be strong when you're weak
when everyone's looking at you through broken rose colored glasses
so many expectations they hang over me at times i just wanna break free
no one understands me i feel so alone fighting the devil in my own home
i get no credit for anything i do at times that's all i need to help me through
this life is all new to me in everyway it's like learning to walk without crawling
i'm forced to face the world as i know it afraid and vulnerable not wanting to quit
i dream of getting high and their so vivid and so real
i wake up not knowing how to feel
a warrior i am so i know i can stay strong but this addiction is in me til i'm dead and gone
please give me a chance to live my life i may not always be right but i'm in it for the fight
the Adult Children of Alcoholics
educated me a lot on my life
I have seen plenty of alcoholics
growing up with it stabs you like a knife
I once read in a book what certain traits
children of alcoholics developed
being an adjuster in life relates
seems like my life was underdeveloped
I would just go with the flow with no word
looking back on my life I know it’s true
I was never the one to wear a sword
all this because dad drank way too much brew
Dad is dead family is still coping
we have all done our own way of doping
It’s not my belly button but it’s my birthday
Five years free and clean I’m proud to say
As I start off this day it’s with a great big grin
God blessed me with the tools I needed to win
The Lord gave the ability and the desire to write
Which enabled me to see life in a brand new light
God sent me these gifts by the way of his Son
For five years I have followed the chosen one
With a stack of poems and no idea what to do
Ask the Lord to guide me and he led me to you
And as you all know I’m in love with a dream
He gifted me with an angel to be on my team
Sometimes I smile at the thought that I’m a poet
And no matter how I try I can’t help but show it
Some are dark as a cave others bright as a light
I have no absolutely no control over what I write
The only thing I believe that I believe is true
I truly do love to share myself with all of you
Please allow me to first apologize for being absent
from the site this week a lot of good things have
been happening. The most important is the fact
that it's January 28th, 2009 which means that 5
years ago today I emptied my locker into a box
and walked out of Prison for the last time ever in
my life and started living my drug free life. This
week I have started adult courses to mainly brush
up on things and I have taken my aptitude test for
the Dept. of Rehabilitation and scored rather well
if i do say so myself so my opportunities as far as
retraining for a new occupation is looking rather bright.
I can't believe that I have 5 years free and clean
that is so cool. I want to thank you all for the support
you have given me and would like to say that in my
heart you all share this moment with me. When I
pick up my 5 Year N.A. coin tonight and guest speak
at the meeting you all will be there with me. I will
be back on the site by this weekend and I Praise God
that this milestone in my life has been reached.
Thank you all - God Bless, MJ
Setting Yourself Free
Searching exhaustively for the truth in everything one is taught by others.
Extensively evaluating all things in order to find which path to take.
Thoroughly questioning anything that one is informed by anyone, instead of being
part of the host.
Trusting that everyone has their own path of truth that they follow, however these
paths might not be the right one for the individualist.
Identifying the truths of life by thoroughly researching both sides of every fortune
told by the raja whom is advised by his rani.
Neither believing nor disbelieving one’s knowledge that he has acquired through
attending the institution.
Gathering data from fervently researching both pros and cons, while using the
scientific method for truth finding.
Yearning to analyze several paths of truth in order to find the best-fitting for one’s
way.
Overwhelming being inquisitive towards everything that is advised from a wino.
Understanding the content of all things that one reads from a book, and learns for
one’s milieu.
Radically experimenting through all of life’s endeavors with hopes of finding at least
one that will catch one’s eyes with grandeur.
Syllogistically gathering information through questioning everyone that one meets.
Enticing oneself while studying every ideology of the world with the passion of a
zealot in order to obtain one’s own way of life.
Laboriously diving into a diverse array of the fountains of knowledge and sifting
through them until he finds the one that will help him prevail.
Fanatically familiarizing oneself with the multitude of ideas that the world has to
offer including science, philosophy, and religious belief.
Frantically fusing one’s learned knowledge with his experiences of experimentation
in life, to help him find proof.
Ravaging through the pillars of light and truth while thoroughly investigating the
words of every prophet, scientist, and philosopher.
Expecting to either find a way of life that is sufficient enough to quench one’s thirst
for knowledge or to simply live life through experience.
Exploring the falsification of any truths that are mere opinions without any
substantial evidence.
I pick up the pieces of my heart
Piece by piece, part by part
It breaks every single time
All the emotions in it sublime
Funny thing, I'm fixing it again
Shouldn't bother, it causes me pain
But still I learn that i have pride
I must endure, life's a rough ride
Doesn't matter if I lose it all
Doesn't matter if I have a great fall
Doesn't matter if people hate me
Because they don't see what I see
Doesn't matter if my life is hell
Endure it, Live the story, then tell
Doesn't matter if my loved one rejected me and said no
Move on, don't you dare let it show
Doesn't matter I was betrayed
It's ok, nobody ever stayed
Doesn't matter if I actually die
I'll soar the skies as I fly
Doesn't matter if I ever succeed
My pain is continuing to bleed
Doesn't matter if I tell you "I love you"
I know you won't say "too, I do"
Doesn't matter that family is but a sin
It traps you like a mouse in a can of tin
Doesn't matter that he throws obstacles my away
I believe in myself, I know I'll be okay
Even though my life is a sad song
My faith still picks me up, I'm still strong
Doesn't matter for my life is but art
Its masterpiece, my glued heart
"Will someone please answer!"
I scream and I Shout,
I'm trapped in this hole
And there is no way out!
Will someone, anyone find me?
I'm stuck in the abyss.....
who ever said that ignorance was bliss?
Never seen sunlight, nor moon in the sky.
All I can do is lay here and die.
Stay in this hole like a bird in a cage.
Lie here and rot till the end of my days.
I live a life of hopes and dreams,
But they all end in dying screams.
The sun shies behind my perfect cloud,
Stuck in the shade, lost in the drought...
When memory is gone and faded away,
You can bet on me being here to stay.
No matter how many times I try to leave,
I always fall without feeling the breeze.
One good thing has come of my stay,
I know this hell is my private getaway.
Straying away from the troubles at hand,
The hole has become my promised land.
I lived a life of hopes and dreams,
But they all ended in dying screams.
The sun shone behind my perfect cloud,
What I wouldn't give to be there now.
The next time you see me,
I'll be in real deep.
The sky will be dark,
And i'll look like a freak.
What more can you want from me?
I've only ever done what you've asked.
Now because you were my guide,
My future has become your past.
I want a life of hopes and dreams,
Don't care if they end in dying screams.
The sun may shine behind my perfect cloud,
But at least i would know it was there.........
Fall from Grace.
From sun tanned hero to zero the unthinkable happen, the captain
on a 14 story liner hit a rock. Her captain lost his marbles, didn’t
know what to do next, shell chocked his world and dreams had
come to an abrupt end. What followed show us a man not in charge
of his own faculties, he went down to the bar and ordered a drink,
this while the crew was putting on life belts ready to leave the ship.
Eventually the master walked on deck more like a zombie without
the faintest idea of what to do next. Since he didn’t know what to
do and the ship was listing he joined a life boat, ashore it worried
him that his socks were wet, he might catch a cold. Is that an action
of a sane man? All he wanted to do thereafter was to go home go
to sleep, wake up next morning and it all had been a bad dream.
It was not. When command was expected of him, he failed and will
never sail on a ship again. In Italy people are ashamed of him it is like
he has let them down. How lucky we are that few of us are called
upon to do the right thing in time of adversity.