Best Pain In The Ass Poems

Good morning ladies and gentlemen,
I'm just looking out my door.
It has been raining through the night,
Looks like we'll get some more.
But don't worry all you gardeners,
The sun will be out soon.
Just as quick as this snow melts,
Your flowers will start to bloom.
The wind will blow...

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Less than twenty-four hours after dashing off a poem 
   explaining why i wanted to die
found me experiencing physical duress vis a vis, 
   a bowel movement wherein waste unable to expel 
   from the anus of this guy
which...

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((( THIS POEM IS A DEDICATION
((( TO MY nemesis and pest Silly Billy theKidster
((( HE  JOINed MY CONTEST AS A JOKE
~~~~ both # 1 are for fun ~~~~
***                ...

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While others writers think of love
you’ve shat on that pure white dove.
Before on and on, I must go,
I’m telling others of what I know.

Love to ride the ‘Royal Scotsman,”
but this train I’m on is full of flotsam.
What I’m saying is so loaded with duress,
Its’ like...

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I know of a pretty New Jersey lass
Who decided to vacation First Class
But on the very first night
Oh no! Cancelled flight
What a total pain in the ass

I'm sure her tomorrows will be better
Or she'll surely be posting a letter
If her plane don't take off soon
It...

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Being an American in Australia isn’t easy,

but I’m trying to integrate;

I’m trying to fit in.

Just one of the boys with all the right expressions

under my belt, like:

        pasty glut

        cosmetic spring...

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<                                our top story tonight is Lawyers
       ...

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You messed around 
and married a real 
"pain-in-the butt" man 

known throughout the land 
for ripping
burning 
completely deserting 
then leaving 
women hurting

his only claim to fame 
is over reacting 
and lacking class
a self-proclaimed pain in the ass
a crook with line 
and hook to cast 

things...

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ON THE ROCKS
 
Talk about bad luck, I hit rock bottom and broke a leg
One advantage to hitting rock bottom is at least I know which way is up now
I hit Rock’s bottom and he promptly kicked my bottom from one end to the other
It...

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Ah, that smell of bread from Home Ec.,
Just can't be real to me,
Because school just seems to be a part of everyone's misery,
But then I realize
The bread from there is as real as a bakery's.
And when I'm with my friend,
The fun of bugging her in...

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SLY  FOX - Dramatic verse, Epic and Deep.
Dramatic verse? How surprising coming from the SLY FOX Drama Queen.
Epic and deep? Well, excuse me
but you have me confused with somebody else entirely.
I'm about as deep as PD's so called poetry.
So listen good and listen hard...

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Unwanted love, like constipation, a pain in the ass
It will upset you for many days 
Once dumped, system cleared, the trouble will pass
You’ll be able to go your separate ways...

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Now here's a tale that needs to be told
Of three little pigs so very different
Their names were Ernest, Roger and Winky
These names by their parents were given

Now I could say these pigs were not so nice
At times they were rightly a pain in the ass
Their...

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You crawled out of her innocent womb 
Kicking , begging and screaming
But it is too late for you to be redeemed 
You were born evil and corrupted 
and you have a  very  dirty heart
From whence did you come?

You lack feeling and human compassion
And...

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-LAST DAYS OF OLD BEN-


    “See that man up there on the mountain, son?”
“Yeah Pop, why’s he a’jes sittin there starin’ out at nuthin?"
 Well, son it ain’t nothin’ he’s seein’…Just nuthin we can’t see, know what I ‘m sayin’?” confused the...

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