Best Nut Case Poems
I've never seen a more comical face
than that of a giraffe begging for corn.
Its black tongue makes it look like a nut-case,
as its eyes stare down with an air of scorn.
Giraffes have a long triangular head
that sits high atop a serpentine neck.
And yes, they get disgruntled; enough said,
they are known to leave car windows a wreck.
Don't let its eyelashes play with your mind;
it's batting them for food; it's not a wink.
And don't think it's harmless, gentle, and kind;
it's far more belligerent than you think.
It stands aloof with a smug expression,
impertinently demanding handouts.
I don't want to give the wrong impression,
but stay alert when giraffes are about.
scrutable squirrel
stocks up the winter larder...
another nut case
© Harry J Horsman 2022
Reliving Upside Down
by Odin Roark
The Jungle Gym geodesic glistened,
Afternoon showers dripped,
Languorous droplets fell,
Saturating sand below,
Just like then.
Bench of parents
Reflected memories old,
Stroller wheels struggling,
Obstinate sand as obstacle,
Giggles and screeches
From canopy covered pram,
Bumpy ride for my brother,
His laughter, sheer joy.
Fathers,
Mothers,
Sitters and nannies,
Attentive to children’s every move.
So many eyes saw me
Atop the dome’s iron lattice,
Hanging by my legs,
Seeing the world upside down,
Shouting, “Look at me, Grandpa!”
He didn’t notice this day,
His sudden slumped body,
Dropped the half eaten sandwich
To the ground.
Part of me wanted not to upright my view,
That safety of abstract vision so foreign then,
So understandable now,
So strangely comforting then,
So painful now.
I now straddle atop the bars,
Thinking thirty-three years haven’t made it easier,
Save the bench now replaced
The sand succeeded by concrete,
The tenders and watchers now often of different purpose,
Staring at me not knowing
I’m anything but a nut case.
Some of us just discover
Life’s remembrances
Sometimes prophesy what is to come.
Some, like me, will realize
Their whole adult life is programmed upside down,
Its sophisticated induction lures escapees
Into free-for all playground-workplaces
Where capture so often comes by way of
Pills,
Powder,
Liquid
Needles.
I smile.
Swing down to the ground,
Throw an embrace to Grandpa’s bench,
Look up and shout…
“Reliving upside down moments of love is okay.
Really…
It’s okay.”
Squirrel
stocks the larder --
another nut case
© Harry J Horsman 2010
I walked into my school at noon one day, straight from a bland boring counseling meeting and no one was there.
No receptionist, no secretary, no nurse, no vice principal, no custodian, oh, where were they, where?
I sat down and started answering the phone, because how often they let me do this is very rare.
"A MOTHER IS COMING UP HERE, AND SHE'S MAD," Principal said. "I've called security, can you answer the phones for now?"
Oh, boy, could I! I love answering the phones. You never know what nut case will call. The principal ran back out, and the phone rang.
A female's voice started yelling "You tell that blankety blank principal, that I'm coming up there with my brothers, and we are going to blankety blank someone up, me and my gang."
I take rapid shorthand, so, yes, I had it all. I repeated it back to her, "Is that all?" I asked her. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" I'm here to serve, after all.
"I'm not going to stand for that blankety blank handbook that says that my daughter cannot....who is his anyway?" She asked, as her tirade became a much slower crawl.
"This is Caren Krutsinger," I told her. I had visited her son in the hospital, just the other day,
"Oh, hi, Mrs. Krutsinger!" she said, her voice lilting upward, in a sing songy 'I like you' kind of way.
"And if that blankety blank principal gives my daughter a detention I am going to blankety blank her up. I'll be there in five minutes all in all."
I foolishly told the principal about this call. "Oh, good, you get along with her," the principal said."When she comes up here, you can go in the conference room with them, in case she brings her giant brothers, mean and tall."
Luckily security arrived first, and the entourage of angry stomped into the conference room raging and ranting and stomping and shouting without me after all.
I
Books aligned the cupboard racks--
It was no fancy place;
Tables, chairs(maybe backpacks--
Of students--in this case)
Lay about this little room at the school
Where i met her first.
Here, a flimsy argument,
Rose over something she had:
Made me think, '' she's a nut-case
Or maybe lost it just a tad''
Now that would've been the end all
But we were to meet again--
In college we shared a section--
The knowing her began:
Talks developed in the science lab
And computer class;
I'd discovered an introvert--
A fascinating lass...
Soon enough we were friends,
A trust built up sublime;
Close pals we had grown
By passage of this time:
A girl who was a silent lamb,
All wary with her word,
Stubborn, crazy, and brainy,
With me was a chirpy bird...
Not to mention, her silence
And prudence of everyday
Gave her the power to have her wish--
(With me)she always had her way...
Thrills were great, joyous moments
Were ever by our side,
But reality has in it's store
Things set to decide...
**
II
The end of lovely college days,
Makes the rest a history...
I only hope like our last depart,
There hides another mystery,
For i don't feel this'd be the end-all
But i would meet again--
Like college where we shared a past,
Where everything began--
To share a verbal escapade
Once more with the 'silent girl'.
I hope to meet again this friend
For a new tale to unfurl....
**
The past, it may be over
but is it really changed?
I wish I could forget it
but my life's still rearranged.
I'm always told I'm 'different'.
There are things I just won't do.
These things that make me strange to them
I owe them all to you.
Because of how you were then
I swore I'd never be.
Somehow I lost myself in this
although I'm finally free.
I won't even look at alcohol.
Oh gosh, no way...no how!
My kids will never see me drunk.
Not later and not now!
You'll never hear a curse word
be uttered from my lips.
Although I may be thinking them
while my hands are on my hips!
I seem like such a nut case
to all who don't know why.
I don't waste time explaining...
I couldn't even try.
She looks kinda cute even when she is mad
yet, so composed when things turn out bad.
How she smiles even in deep, sweet slumber
that I love watching whenever I am with her.
Kids get sick, turns me into a nervous wreck,
she just smiles “Relax, hon, get some sleep”
and while I’m snoring totally lost to the world,
she lovingly nurses them with a heart of gold.
Next morning she whispers “How’s my man?”
what have I done to deserve such a woman!
I smile thinking her children really total five
the oldest of whom is fast approaching 55.
When I erupt like a volcano she allows me
then soothes it with “Are you okay, honey?”
“Now let's talk about this like sane people”
leaving me chastened, a choleric old fool.
I often wonder how she lasted long years
living with my juvenile, explosive temper.
I just count every blessing, this nut case
married to a lady I fondly call Funny Face.
What's happened to modern day families
They once were a tight little group
The kids would visit Granny and Gramps
Someone would bring homemade soup
Folks arrived bearing goodies and sweets
And put all their stuff in the fridge
The kids would play their hide and seek games
While the old folks played Euchre or Bridge
Granny didn't mind that the house was askew
Afterwards we sat down for a chat
It sure looked like a big bomb had gone off
It was weeks before they located the cat
Today they email to say they can't make it
It's their time to scrub out the bath
And Susan broke a finger nail last night
She's sulking but I'm sure it won't last
Maybe in June we will find time to visit
We'll slot you into our journal
Between Tommie's first ever baseball game
And Susan's play, "Love Eternal"
©Jack Ellison 2012
Demented thoughts; I want more weed.
Please, oh please, give me what I need.
I'm the Queen, I'm a strange B ITCH
I know it sounds crazy, but I AM the GANJA WITCH!
They locked me in the asylum, but I run the place.
All the patients here are my seeds, even though this is a nut case.
I'm always shaking, I'm kinda of have a twitch.
but everyone in here calls me the GANJA WITCH.
I'm flying, but my feet are still on the floor.
I'm so damn high but I need more.
The Ganj Man and I are like Leo and Stitch
But DO NOT be mistaken, I AM the GANJA WITCH
I'm high in the sky, I'm smoking dank and singing REALLY loud
The Ganja Man is always telling me how I make him so Proud.
I'm just kidding, I know can't sing, I can't keep pitch
But it doesn't even matter because I'm the GANJA WITCH
This is a Shadroma poem.
(not Listed)
a squirrel
stocks up his larder
investing
for winter
-
for then his heartaches begin
-
another nut case.
© Harry J Horsman 2018
Faces of Gore (1999) is a mondo shockumentary video that depicts graphic footage of
bloody, mangled bodies which guides viewers through explicit scenes depicting a variety of
ways to die and violent acts. I wanted to try my hand at Mondo genre poetry. I promise you
I’m not a nut case. I’m just a highly imaginative poet.
An ominous cloud lingers in my head
Portending pernicious consequences.
My sixth sense informs me what lays ahead
Foretelling dire events in sequences:
At first, a flash that's followed by thunder.
But it’s not what the mind is telling me.
A cloudless sky, than smoke, and no wonder
A bomb tore asunder all that I see.
The blood, ash and bone, dismembered bodies
All littered the site once a theater.
The mayhem and carnage that I foresee
Was the work of a lone perpetrator.
A marquee lying that stood heretofore
Reads: Coming attraction, “Faces of gore”
Feb. 14, I felt a profound longing for love in my soul./ So I got out of the house for a
afternoon stroll./ A beautiful day to be in the park, one would think it was spring./ Valentines
day was in full swing!/ So many couples out enjoying this gorgeous day./ I felt I was
somehow in the way./ I thought to myself, "Man this ain't fair, all this love in the air."/ I just
felt out of place./ But something happened and you may call me a nut case!/
In the sky/ somthing caught my eye./ I nearly wet my pants,/ but at first glance/ I
thought it was a plane./ You may say I'm insane,/ or say "that's absurd,"/ but it wasn't a
bird!/ What I saw, I saw clearly./ "Cupid" flew down and hovered 10 feet from me!/ I heard
him sing,/ then he pulled back on his bowstring,/ and a arrow shot towards me!/
A couple nearby probably figured me a man on the verge of insanity,/ because they saw
me dive into a roll!/ I ignored the couple, turned to cupid and screemed "You *******!" The
couple begin laughing, but I ignored them./ Cupid came closer, I picked up a rock and threw
it at him!/
This was turning into a bad day./ I turned and attempted to run away./ All of a sudden a
woman popped into my mind/ the instant I felt a "sting" in my behind!/ I could have swore I
saw Cupid zip past me and yell "Farewell!"/ And then to the ground I fell!/
That arrow would surely change my view of love in the world;/ For when I came too, I
was face to face with this strange girl./ She was gorgeous and I knew this was the one I had
to marry!/ I asked her name and she said, "Audrey Carey!"
Trump Total Pain Will Remain
Trump total pain still will remain;
He does seem to drive us insane;
Nut case for sure;
Enough to endure;
Wish he was run over by a train.
Or how about hope or should?
Should sounds more emphatic,
through all the static that is a
terrible tactic.
Jim Horn
A book case holds thoughts,
A nut case wishes words away.
Remember this in case
Our ideas are forgot one day.