I Am Here To Serve

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This is a true story. It happened once upon a time in another school.

I walked into my school at noon one day, straight from a bland boring counseling meeting and no one was there.
No receptionist, no secretary, no nurse, no vice principal, no custodian, oh, where were they, where?
I sat down and started answering the phone, because how often they let me do this is very rare.
"A MOTHER IS COMING UP HERE, AND SHE'S MAD," Principal said. "I've called security, can you answer the phones for now?"
Oh, boy, could I! I love answering the phones. You never know what nut case will call. The principal ran back out, and the phone rang.
A female's voice started yelling "You tell that blankety blank principal, that I'm coming up there with my brothers, and we are going to blankety blank someone up, me and my gang."
I take rapid shorthand, so, yes, I had it all. I repeated it back to her, "Is that all?" I asked her. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" I'm here to serve, after all.
"I'm not going to stand for that blankety blank handbook that says that my daughter cannot....who is his anyway?" She asked, as her tirade became a much slower crawl.
"This is Caren Krutsinger," I told her. I had visited her son in the hospital, just the other day,
"Oh, hi, Mrs. Krutsinger!" she said, her voice lilting upward, in a sing songy 'I like you' kind of way.
"And if that blankety blank principal gives my daughter a detention I am going to blankety blank her up. I'll be there in five minutes all in all."
I foolishly told the principal about this call. "Oh, good, you get along with her," the principal said."When she comes up here, you can go in the conference room with them, in case she brings her giant brothers, mean and tall."
Luckily security arrived first, and the entourage of angry stomped into the conference room raging and ranting and stomping and shouting without me after all.

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