Best Near Miss Poems
Watts gnu
Asked Sou
Knot much
Said Dutch
Ewe're late
Four date
Takes walk
Small talk
Tries hug
Slugs mug
Steels kiss
Near miss
Street car
Two bar
Byes bier
Ayes blear
Holds hand
Grate band
Lets dance
Know chance
Yew're drunk
Yew punk
He heaves
She leaves
Head tossed
Git lost
Sou miffed
Left swift
Ewe're tight
Good nite
For the life of me I can't understand,
Why you can't fall in love.
I never bring roses on a first date,
Always opting for a live dove.
You hit the linoleum so quick,
Without even the slightest shove.
As the front door slammed,
off your feet you were knocked.
Almost fell off the chair,
As you drank whilst I talked
Tripped over my left foot,
As we danced interlocked.
Almost passed out with,
An allergic reaction to steak?
Jumped out of my car before,
I could even hit the brake.
Broke year heel running away,
Tumbling over the hidden rake.
You're lucky I caught you when,
You fell back from my first kiss.
This whole night has been,
Full of the 'falling' near miss.
Fall in love with me one more time, I know,
I will sweep you off you feet into eternal bliss.
I'm looking for the dejavu
that should be caught to contemplate
the miss, near miss of circumstance
the hand that brushed us by, by chance
I'm looking for the accident
that blew up seconds after us
with cars colliding and the rest
(it's just a brush with introspect)
I'm feeling back for that one time
an undertow, the killing kind
nipped weakly with the tip of tongue
I passed it by, for I was young
And what about the storm of storms
(it swirled to heights above the norm)
and yet our house was still untouched,
I think of it, but not that much
I'm really bent on days of you
when we were one instead of two
As all the wonder came and went
I left you there by accident...
THE PITCH 2
words then silence
can alter one’s perception
like being in another world
“get lost” she says
see what i mean
the girl next door
plays the piano badly
oh she is gorgeous
but all turns to ashes
when she murders debussy
those early days
there was this one girl
but i lacked courage
after 30 years she’s fat
and i am prince valiant
oh those short dresses
and so so short
i can’t remember faces
days of the week yes
and colors
first kiss
trying to arrange the angle
close your eyes
go for it
a near miss
Dave Austin
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the sky,
Santa's reindeer sped bringing toys to the world's small fry.
"On Dasher! On Dancer and Prancer! On Cupid and Vixen!
Lead on Rudolph! Speed it up there Donner and Blitzen!"
Rudolph knew the routine since he had led Santa for years,
Cruising o'er Australia, Merry Olde England and sunny Algiers!
Suddenly, Santa saw strange sights he'd never encountered before!
Whizzing past him were dozens of satellites and space junk galore!
But faithful Rudolph was alert and said after another near miss,
"Never mind, boss! Trust me and hang on! I'll get you through this!"
Santa clutched his toy bag, hunkered down and closed his eyes,
Relying on the red-nosed one to guide him safely through the skies.
They made it alright and Santa visited every isle, city and nation,
Spreading cheer to all who awaited his visit with great anticipation!
Santa brought presents to all good little girls and boys worldwide,
Thanks to his magic sleigh and reindeer with Rudolph as his guide!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
Blind date
Dork mate
She grand
He bland
Parked car
They spar
Tried kiss
Near miss
Romance
No chance
Entry for Jan Allison's "Five Fabulous Funny Footles" Contest (7 June 2015)
Tied for First Place Win
On Christmas Eve the stratosphere was rent with strange communication,
As an Air Force pilot in his F-16 was on routine patrol protecting his nation!
He was tooling along when suddenly on his radar a weird object did appear!
It was zipping along at mach three speed and came so close he had to veer!
"Tower! I've had a near miss by an object flying at thrice the speed of sound!"
"Roger, Snoopy One! Are you sure? We've had no such report from the ground!"
"Tower! It came over the horizon from the north and gave me quite a fright!"
Please affirm if Area 51 is playing games with a new toy on this frigid night!"
"Negative, Snoopy One! Kick in your after-burner and give the thing a chase!
Arm your rockets, watch your six and keep your trigger ready just in case!"
"Roger, tower! I have him on my radar but I have no visual on him yet!
If he causes any mischief, me and my ol' F-One Six'll get 'im, you can bet!"
Though he poured on full military power he just could not keep apace!
To the befuddled pilot, the object was seemingly lost without a trace.
He was concerned that on this Christmas Eve, aliens from outer space,
Were invading earth and that he alone was left to save the human race!
Fighter planes from NATO nations were also scrambled to join in the hunt!
At last the pilot received a call from his commander and it was rather blunt!
"Snoopy One! Your mission is terminated! Return to base without delay!
NORAD has confirmed that the object you saw was Santa and his sleigh!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Driving home one afternoon from school,
It was raining and the air was nice and cool.
Less than a mile from home in my little S-10,
Traveling the same road again and again.
It was a freshly paved road around the bend,
Taking it nice and easy because my turn was at the end.
A dark green car came around in my lane,
I swerved so I would not hit the insane.
Before I could even blink an eye,
My truck was sideways as my tires let out a cry.
I had to think fast my time was running out,
I’m not going to live through this, my mind full of doubt.
Sharply turning the wheel all the way to the left,
Holding on for life like protecting something from theft.
The front tire bites and the truck slings around,
My heart sinks as I see a stop sign firmly planted in the ground.
Now bounding through the ditch on the other side,
Landing hard hitting my head as I cry inside.
Clipping the stop sign on the right side of my truck,
Is it over yet? Can I have the worst luck?
Woods dead ahead as if signs weren’t enough,
Now I’m dodging trees, bushes and stuff.
I slam on the breaks thinking how could it hurt,
I close my eyes as my tires fill with dirt.
The truck stops. I’m not moving anymore,
“Is this the end?” I think as I reach for the door.
My eyes open now looking at a tree,
I can’t believe I made it, someone was looking out for me.
By: Nathan Bane Leccese
© All Rights Reserved 04/01/2009
Rumors spread like a flood seeping through the streets
That an adult black panther, kept as a pet, had escaped,
And was now prowling around the back alleys in town, according to the tweets.
Big cat far too black to see in the dark, lights and shadow play the beast undraped
To show slinking sly shadows of a panther silently prowling for kills and meats.
Kids and wags made things worse by feigning panther roars.
Soon all sorts of sounds prompted fear and flight,
Cats sounds, dog howls, owls, yells and screams all caused uproars.
The rumor mill was rampant, the streets declared unsafe at night
People were forced to stay at home after dark, and hide away indoors.
People started reporting that their cats and dogs had disappeared.
Bones and dropping scattered about, surely signs of panther.
Police patrols were joined by hunters who volunteered
To rid the town of this menace, as jokes and laughs grew to anger
The torrent of false sightings triggered near-miss shots as sheer panic in the streets leered.
The town Mayor became desperate as the situation got worse.
Sightings grew, shots rang out, every shadow had a panther in its tail,
But clearly there was no panther, no sightings, no true signs to ever confirm the curse.
Secretly the Mayor began a search for a panther skin to fake a shooting and so curtail
This urban legend myth with a fake dead panther, fake news, and a fat reward in purse.
A panther skin was found, a trophy hung with lion and tiger in local hunter's room.
The skin was stuffed, dabbed with blood, and snuck into dark alley in secret.
Two blank shots were fired and photos taken as crowd gathered in the gloom.
Reporters primed to fake the news: "Panther found, killed and taken away in casket"
It was all done and dusted, urban legend lingered on, but fear was gone, a lie lying in tomb.
Find you
Hold your hands in mine
Look in your eyes
Tell you I love you
That’s what I would do
If Earth was getting slammed by an asteroid tomorrow
Oh my God! What if it turns out to be a near miss?
A near miss
Or fall of life
Inspires many to whisper-
In the home of disarray,
Where lives feed on amazement.
There's no one to sweep the litters
Just as debates hold
And attitudes glow,
The sirens break the mood.
A cloud of sigh gathers
With a temperate atmosphere,
Yet a hail to dodge ceaselessly drop.
In a moment, appetite for answers derail,
Questions take a steep down the throat
And jaws rest their might.
Men in boots
Expose many to rain
Just when need for shelter heighten-
As already the sword of defence
Has lower its guard
For the gifts
Of Harmattan
CATCHING A TRAIN
the embark of a new day
kilters to the hand on a rail
lost beside the meager display
ground down remains of prey
the shuffle of blind insist
a march of unraveled bliss
all aboard a near miss
no time to resist
time wanders a train
the slow motion of a stain
bends back the will
misery’s honor forever stills
a life within reach
belief lies beneath a mask
arms a pressing disguise
bangs at an irrespective demise
daydreams for impressions bloom
cracked glass still reflects
the worlds mass on the move
turning hope in a kaleidoscope view
conflicts try a mind for limits
defend a paradox unseen
the fury to push back mean
runs free while praying for a leash
Terry D'Arcy-Ryan
Forever I look into the night skies
Pleasantly dreaming of your eyes
The wonders they hold so deep
Hoping your heart is mine to keep
Wishing upon that shooting star
But knowing full where you are
Beside me as always hand in mine
With the universe in front all in line
Touching the moon as we both kiss
As a comet goes by with a near miss
With a destiny of love right from birth
Happily together right here on earth
Burning rocks had
a near miss. The
questions splatter
the blood-
to inspire and break
you inside and out.
Unbecoming, to end the
relationship. The story?
begins of an introvert.
The ungreen grass waits
for your wet toes,
to breathe again.
The blood-money was
very high, after the?
violent end of a
blade run.
My pillow is soaked of
a moonfall. The anguish
of a bodyless grave
was haunting.
Satish Verma
What next? You may ask?
My next task?
I have done deep underground.......
Sharks I have found...
Ice and snow
All for the show!
I know!
The ultimate stress test
A shopping test around tesco!
Nothing can be missed.
On a crowded day......
The trolley dance!
My last chance!
To conquer each aisle........
Requires cunning and guile.
Fighting to the bitter end
Defeating shopping trends
I must be off my trolley!
Shoppers ' folly!
Good golly!
I have my shopping list
It is saturday
I am ready to start....
I let off a nervous fart.......
Is there anything I have missed?
The whistle blows
Here it goes!
Shoppers heaven!
Starting sharp at eleven!
Dodgems have nothing on this......
That was a near miss!
Crowded aisles!
Trolleys for miles!
Stress?
Oh yes!
I am on course
Aisle three
Damn!
Spaghetti is in aisle two!
You silly moo!
This is the hardest thing
that the producers can bring
Shopping!
Give me space fright,
pirates too....
All the gold
Simply won't do!
Shopping.......
The most frightening thing
Boy! Did I sweat!
You can bet...........
I won't do this again!
Are you insane?
This is tough!
I have had enough
My hardest assignment so far...
It's hard being the star!
Shop until you drop
That I couldn't top
I must try something new
for chapter seven!
Even if it kills me too!