Best Misheard Poems

There’s a fluttering in my attic;
something’s alive up there.
The cat is getting frantic
and I dread going up the stairs.

I hope that it’s a bird,
rather than...

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I’ve mucked around when drinking beer like many other blokes,
who love to be involved when playing silly nonsense jokes.
It’s great to see a ‘bunny’ puzzled...

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Salome just loved gingerbread
But Herod misheard what she said
Who wants a dead head
To bounce in their bed?
So she dashed to the John instead


*Title inspired by...

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In the beginning was the word 
(stop! right there.}  It said the Word was
God, and not God was the word. Is this 
something that...

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"nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day"
Artic Monkeys 

(turns out I'd misheard 'crawlin back to you' as 'fallin into...

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Written: September 29, 2023
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Walking through the corridors of my dream,
Down the boulevard of anguish, it seems,
Breathing in the knell of an unreadable sky,
Haunt Harbinger hypostatization,...

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There was an old man on a cart,
Acquaintances knew him as Bart,
As he only ate beans,
He inflated his jeans,
And smelt of a permanent fart…

Inspired by...

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On Aging Gracefully

It seems that while we’re here on earth
we spend our time ‘tween death and birth
in growing older and it shows
how fast my body...

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Beauty chortles forth a frabjous,
interrupting static sanity,
Misheard through ears abstruse.

Boojums guised as proper
Cast labels fathoming blind vanity --
Yet, beauty chortles forth a frabjous.

They are the...

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All the others row the boat slow while I crank up the motor....
Here we go let's start the show, I'm the show boater.

The entrance of...

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extracted

smiling; hello 

It's been a long day, tired off all the repetitive noise:

Move slow
Times fast
Why won't
You go
I'm important
Are you important
To me

Extracted

Hello; Smiling

Digging into a word;...

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Embarrassment at the Big Box Store

By Elton Camp

Sue was checking out at the crowded store
Then occurred something that she did abhor

Although the checker tried to...

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(Friend) "Okay dear. Can you hear?"
(Lady) "Yes. Yes! Of course I'm here!"
(Friend) "Your husband is on to second tee."
(Lady) "No. I haven't had my tea."
(Friend)...

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When I was young, a dining needle
Was the term we used
To name a flying insect, but
Turns out we were confused.

For darning needle is another
Phrase for...

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We don't mesh
Since we've been one flesh
We're never on good terms for long
As a matter of fact
One misheard word or act
Makes us conclude everything's wrong

And...

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