Best Misheard Poems

I’ve mucked around when drinking beer like many other blokes,
who love to be involved when playing silly nonsense jokes.
It’s great to see a ‘bunny’ puzzled and completely unaware
that pranksters are around him, but he doesn’t know they’re there.

Of course there had to come a time...

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There’s a fluttering in my attic;
something’s alive up there.
The cat is getting frantic
and I dread going up the stairs.

I hope that it’s a bird,
rather than a bat;
unless I have misheard,
oh, I’d better get a hat.

I recall my sister’s hair,
when a bat flew into it;
it truly...

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Salome just loved gingerbread
But Herod misheard what she said
Who wants a dead head
To bounce in their bed?
So she dashed to the John instead


*Title inspired by Special Character, Ilene Bauer...

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In the beginning was the word 
(stop! right there.}  It said the Word was
God, and not God was the word. Is this 
something that has been misheard 
or unheard about the word?

 It says the word was with God not, God
was the word. ...

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"nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day"
Artic Monkeys 

(turns out I'd misheard 'crawlin back to you' as 'fallin into you' - so I wrote a different song for no reason really. Just about being back at work after having...

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Written: September 29, 2023
____________________________________________________________

Walking through the corridors of my dream,
Down the boulevard of anguish, it seems,
Breathing in the knell of an unreadable sky,
Haunt Harbinger hypostatization, holding high

Dimly lit guests, snow troopers, and a piano key
Playing a dismal dirge, an internal funeral melody.
Insightful memories on the...

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We don't speak the same tongue,
but the air between us hums
with understanding.
It's in the way our eyes meet,
the way silence bends
to the shape of each other's heartbeats.
The words we don't say
fill the space between us,
more certain than any language.
More lasting than syllables 
that can be...

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There was an old man on a cart,
Acquaintances knew him as Bart,
As he only ate beans,
He inflated his jeans,
And smelt of a permanent fart…

Inspired by She’s Like the Wind (which I misheard as She’s Got the Wind, lol)
For Giorgio’s A Song Inspires a Poem contest...

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On Aging Gracefully

It seems that while we’re here on earth
we spend our time ‘tween death and birth
in growing older and it shows
how fast my body ebbs and flows. 

Allowing time to contemplate
and reminisce before too late
how far I’ve come to this fair place;
they say I...

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Beauty chortles forth a frabjous,
interrupting static sanity,
Misheard through ears abstruse.

Boojums guised as proper
Cast labels fathoming blind vanity --
Yet, beauty chortles forth a frabjous.

They are the true Doctor
Jekyll’s -- hiding the reality
Misheard through ears abstruse.

Bolt nothing into the locker
Of recycled, rusted normality;
For within beauty lies a...

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All the others row the boat slow while I crank up the motor....
Here we go let's start the show, I'm the show boater.

The entrance of the eminent,
with ability that's evident.
Poo fills your pants 
as you now know you haven't a chance.

I've had it with those...

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extracted

smiling; hello 

It's been a long day, tired off all the repetitive noise:

Move slow
Times fast
Why won't
You go
I'm important
Are you important
To me

Extracted

Hello; Smiling

Digging into a word; something about electricity, a connection; might discourage it. The sun stayed on long and with all the conversations, cars zooming,...

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Embarrassment at the Big Box Store

By Elton Camp

Sue was checking out at the crowded store
Then occurred something that she did abhor

Although the checker tried to do it twice,
A bar code just wouldn’t scan—no dice

So, loudly over the store’s public address
The equipment malfunction he did confess

“On...

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(Friend) "Okay dear. Can you hear?"
(Lady) "Yes. Yes! Of course I'm here!"
(Friend) "Your husband is on to second tee."
(Lady) "No. I haven't had my tea."
(Friend) "What a hit! Woah! Ho! Ho!"
(Lady) "Yes, my garden needs a hoe."
(Friend) "Oh no! You've misheard."
(Lady) "You want a cow?...

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When I was young, a dining needle
Was the term we used
To name a flying insect, but
Turns out we were confused.

For darning needle is another
Phrase for dragonfly.
If you see one up close, then you
Will know the reason why.

Its thin and tapered body looks
Like what we’d use...

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