Best Mishap Poems

Silky
smooth satin skin.
Fluid, graceful movements
as you pour hot milky coffee 
into
a cup, that soft smile on your lips.
Still half asleep, I spill
your coffee on
my lap.
...

Continue reading...

There once was a buxom lass, Suzy May
Went in the sea on a hot August day
She got out, there was laughter
And all stares were upon her 
A freak wave had put her boobs on display......

Continue reading...

Hapless Hank severed a leg just below the knee,
When usin' a chainsaw heedlessly, you see!

He sued claimin' that it was a defective saw,
And hired an attorney to check the law.

"I've reviewed the statutes and I can't take yer case.
I'd recommend you plead mea culpa to...

Continue reading...

After a day's work
Queued long for a taxi ride 
At last get my turn

The cab goes along
Whilst casual talk less intense
Sudden route twist felt 

A bus bump cab's rear
It stumble up underpass wall
But no harm at all

Rescuer come a bit
Couldn't believe I'm safe
Just get slight...

Continue reading...

My early morning began as normal as could be,
but soon,while driving the freeway on my way to work,
my car stalled. Then, in center of an apex, my car died.
I had no choice but to leave it there and gather my things.
I had to hurry or...

Continue reading...

Such a gorgeous peach is she,
With luscious eyes fixed on me!

Skin so fair, lips full and red,
Somebody slap me, I can't be dead!

She's headin' this way, with mistletoe in hand,
I'm all yours baby, I wanna be your man!

I'm gettin' pretty nervous, about to drop my...

Continue reading...

The Irish pipe band played Amazing Grace 
Their drum major showed his skills with the mace
In the air he threw it
But misjudged and blew it
When it came down and hit him in the face...


Written 22 February 2021....

Continue reading...

somehow they forgot
to include one procedure
they asked if I could help them
move you to a bed
I gladly helped lift you up
and stroked your hair one last time...

***Edited version of a previous post...

Continue reading...

A plump woman lived in New York 
At Christmas dinner, ate much beef and pork,
Adding kilos to her fat
On a chair as she sat,
It broke down with a sudden creak


Secured the eighth position 
I Need a Good Laugh: 
Christmas Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Andrea Dietrich...

Continue reading...

Lost, alone and lovely
All by myself, it's true
This might be how it's supposed to be
It's okay, I conclude 
 
I understand this mishap
It's pretty plane, you see
I don't understand why people think,
I need someone with me
 
I'm happy by myself
I smile all the time
I'll put...

Continue reading...

Isn’t it terrible how some people drive?
Thank God I can walk away from this and stay alive.
This awful episode has left me more than annoyed.
The car is considered totaled now that the air bag is deployed.
As usual, the police and paramedics arrive.
They extract a body...

Continue reading...

Walking home from school, a six year old boy,
                                    ...

Continue reading...

Map Mishap

While driving had looked down at my lap,
And would end up having a map mishap;
So off road ran;
Not part of plan;
When I fell asleep my face needed a slap.

Jim Horn



Will pull together
And we will be rooting for
Both God and His Son....

Continue reading...

My image was dull drab and dreary 
(It hadn’t be changed for a while)
I thought that my hair had potential
... It was time I updated my style
But the last time that I’d had a haircut 
I hadn’t been pleased with my “do”
I’d lost half my...

Continue reading...

Too tan Tess was what they called her
But not for the reason you think
But of a misplaced "two" decal
Stuck to her, after too much to drink

Her moniker came hard for her
With an untanned two on her head
She said, "Well, I'll just keep tanning,"
"Till it's gone,...

Continue reading...