Mistletoe Mishap

Such a gorgeous peach is she, With luscious eyes fixed on me! Skin so fair, lips full and red, Somebody slap me, I can't be dead! She's headin' this way, with mistletoe in hand, I'm all yours baby, I wanna be your man! I'm gettin' pretty nervous, about to drop my cup, She grabs me by the shirt & says,..."Get ready, pucker up!" My heart skips a beat, it sings a new song, She sticks out her tongue, damn, it's awful long! She's not a good kisser, how bad is it gonna get? Somebody bring a bib, my shirt's sloppy wet! I wake up in my bed, after sleepin' like a log, Would you believe, I was kissin' my dog?!