Best Mall Poems
Eddie went to the mall full of *****
He was always real proud of his junk
While taking a leak
Decided to streak
Suzie yelled, “Mommy, he has a trunk”
About thanksgiving a bunch of turkeys get together,
Have a meeting about sales for the holidays.
About fall they send out that letter.
Well those business folks got to cuss and discuss,
And figure how to gear it,
To make us customers
Feel that holiday spirit!
Here’s the minutes of the meeting,
We’ll skip the high fives greeting.
“All through the mall we’ll have ho- ho- ing Santys
From the computer games to the racks of panties.
Adult book stores will send out Yule tide flyers,
To attract all the spirit filled ***** buyers.
Don’t forget to put some plastic wreaths
Round those expensive briefs,
And the music; what about the music?!
Let’s start the secular Christmas songs,
In time for the black Friday throngs.
Make sure the songs don’t mention God or Jesus,
We don’t want to offend and have people leave us,
Remember Christmas is all about the money,
So let’s spread the ads on thick like honey!
Hide all the advertised sales on goods for this time of year..
And put the top dollar toys and items by the cashier..
So if you business people got more ideas, let’s push them through!
What’s that? Oh yeah…ah…merry Christmas to you too.
MEETING ADJOURNED !”
“(hey Bill, ..about that bikini clad Santa dancing on the new hutch,
I think maybe her pine needle bra is a bit much…..?
What you think?….)”
Inspired by Carolyn D. (too long for the contest, but had fun with it!)
Each Wall In Mall
We found that each wall,
Existing in shopping mall
Was about to fall.
Seems like my poems vary
between haiku and limericks.
Jim Horn
I sip compliance from a cardboard cup. Tight fine steel lines, hoist five lifelike life sized paper mache white swans. The birds seem to wing from sunlit atrium up and over an oak railing to the mezzanine. Dazzling beneath skylights, they depict ascent, flap, glide, brake and then descent towards wrought iron tables. They mimic our trek from mall entry up the escalator to feast at the food court. I sit alone at the railing, gliding swan overhead, and pretend to eye my phone. Today I secretly study humans. Food court stuffed with youthful staff, bargain hunters, transit transfers, mobility scooters, mothers, babies, bags, phones, the braggadocio of men meeting, gaunt faces of the needy. Bodies milling, streaming, yearning. The bubbling cocktail of pop rock, chit chat galore, languages, slanguages, giggles, and that one guy yelling. The carnal essence of commercial cookery. Unspoken competition for tables, at times nearly a blood sport. Each of us tiptoeing through our daily hopscotch. Only children wonder at the swans. Do mall swans search for lost wetlands, or do they strain to join us? Mythology has it that swans shift between human and avian form. The enchantment of Tchaikovsky’s swan, princess by night pirouettes into swan by day. In the wild, sudden bright white, raucous landing, huge bold birds calling, splashing power and grace. I wish we each burst into swan. But flight feathers do not anchor to my bones, nor contour feathers pierce my skin. I vow to visit the wild ones, and leave.
published in "Unbroken" 2025
After parking I busted my ass
Cut my elbows and knees on some glass
What was my first thought?
“Quick! Scan the whole lot
To make sure no one saw you, JACKASS”
When that jolly red man with a sack
brings your wishes to you off the rack,
no late Christmas night
for first frosty light,
warm the car up and take it all back.
Super Mall
even the mannequin kid
taller than me
=======0000=======
Walking wounded
in the mall,
so many, so joyless,
grimly marching from
store to store.
So few with a dance
in their step.
Buying and not needing,
hoping things will change
their life.
Looking and wanting,
this really is Cibola,
a golden illusion,
all you could want, yet
you still age searching
for streets paved
with rubies
and a temple given
over to greed and foolishness,
and a child to work,
and a woman to sweat,
and a father to die,
thousands of miles
from home.
Wally’s going to the mall today to buy some things he needs,
like toothpaste, soap, and bubble bath, and packs of flower seeds.
The first thing in the store he sees - the big long escalator.
He says, “I’ll not ride on that thing with teeth like alligators.”
Pushed from behind, he’s on the thing and holding on so hard.
He thinks his little weasel nails have left the railing scarred.
“Oh, wait a minute. I was wrong. I think this ride is fun!”
He thinks when he gets off this time, he’ll ride another one.
The mall was crowded to the seams
It’s just the place of Wally’s dreams
He’s never seen so many stores
With clothes and toys and books galore.
He bought the things he needs at home. He even bought a fine-tooth comb.
But passing by the bath supplies, he got perfume sprayed in his eyes.
He’s gonna smell like this all day, and not his usual weasel way.
There’s hope that it will wear off soon, but prob’ly not this afternoon.
Off to the food court. Time to eat. He found a place, an empty seat,
and took the menu, ordered lunch, and set his bags down in a bunch.
Just then, he hears a loud, “Yoo-hoo! Hey, Wally, what are you up to?”
It’s Willy Wolff, his childhood friend, and this is how the day will end.
We’ll leave these friends to catch up on the things the other one has done.
It’s been so long since they have met, they’ll talk ‘til dawn. You wanna bet?
I came here only but once
And that was not long ago
Hunger had brought me here
And I went my way satisfied
And fully determined to return
When I walked up the stairs
From the parking lot below
I was hungry and I was thirsty
And it seemed to me a long
Long walk to the Food Cafe
Today I flew up to the third floor
And hid myself behind litter bins
For the devil, nay, for the devils
Had struck! And struck and struck
Mercilessly, recklessly, violently
And turned this man-made haven
Of happy, chatty, and even noisy
Citizens- children and old included
Into a brazen God-forsaken hell
With brazen Godforsaken devils!
For Shots rung from everywhere
And people fell, or crept or cowered
While others jumped to their swift end
Or broke limbs, screaming and shouting
As they sought to flee the assassins’ rage
Many lives have been lost, dear friend
Much blood has been shed, dear friend
Much pain has been inflicted, my friend
Much fear has been instilled, my friend
Much loss has been incurred, my friend
These lives, this blood, pain, fear and loss
Visited, as it was, on innocent peaceful people
On a day which the whole world had set aside
To celebrate the International Day of Peace
Was meant to do what to the people of Kenya?
If it was to divide us, please know
That we are more united than ever
If it was to instill fear and sow panic
We are more courageous and calm
Than you and your lot will ever be
For the God of this land and nation is a universal God
Who loves little children like those whose brains
You wantonly scattered to the four winds
Who cares for life which you took
In your murderous adventure
Which I know will come
To a close in the
Fullness
Of time!
Who loves
Justice which
You will face in
In the not so
Distant
Hour!
Unite
Heal
And conquer
Fearless
Kenya!
©2013 Gerald Kithinji
mall security
the other law enforcement
you can shop at ease
Like fruitless wanderers,
mall walkers slap their feet
in a rhythm
that goes nowhere.
Only round and round,
past mega-bucks sales;
pet store puppy mill reject dogs,
a merry-go-round for elderly exercisers.
Fitness for arthritic window shoppers.
Fashion pants do beckon,
'come forth and sally
ye nomads of the modern world.'
A parody of Wordsworth's "The World Is Too Much with Us,” which appears under the parody
The mall is too much with us, spring and fall.
Getting and spending, we lay waste each pay check.
There's little in nature we won't someday wreck.
We've given our hearts away to cholesterol.
Beach beauties bare too much to one and all.
The howling dopeheads raise all kinds of heck.
Pollution worldwide makes me say, "Oh, yecch!"
Hey, wary youth, we'll leave this all to y'all!
I'm moved to yell, "Great God, we're out of tune!"
Had I the choice, I swear I'd rather be
A lone coyote howling at the moon
Or a jabbering monkey swinging from tree to tree
And sharing branch room with a shrieking loon.
Of earth's abominations these are free.
“The World Is Too Much with Us” Italian sonnet by William Wordsworth (1770- 1850) The sonnet is one of his responses to the Industrial Revolution.
The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;—
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.
June 21, 2021
Contemporary Sonnet Contest
Sponsor: Charlote Puddifoot
IN THE MALL
On the long white strip
Carnival strains
A circus tune from a Music Box store
I sit and watch
As the passing crowd – mostly by twos – appear
to catch rhythm
A most amusing spectacle
The shapes
The sizes
Singular unique strides
Even a featured Playboy Bunny would show
some sort of glitch
But aside no one is without fault
Marching along (to my mind) android
rejects
I’d never thought much about it, but no one talks
No one smiles
In this disjointed parade
For heaven’s sake
Bring on some children, even bad-ass kids
Let’s have a dollop of excitement!
Now I must put index to lips
Eyes upward in thought
Trying to find excuse for my freak
No use
I too am one of them
And probably food for gut-shaking mirth
My God!
What nonsense am I thinking?
What a world!
Dave Austin