Best Maintenance Man Poems

It was three o'clock in the morning and my body craved more sleep
I'd been out all night with friends and just fallen into slumber deep
when the defective smoke detector started going off - BEEP! BEEP!
I couldn't get the batteries out, and fell off the ladder...

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At the Charlie Norton School of Performing Arts
They only taught armoured acting parts.
They had a special maintenance man
Always kept busy with his little oil can
Keeping the suits free of fleas
And all the joints moving with ease,
Especially the cunningly concealed vent
For the disposal of excrement
And the...

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Thirty-five years in a fifty year old building where I repair all.
Having that many years of changes within, each one I have saw.
I answer calls each day to fix everything, either big or very small.
Reality is and this is not vainness, they expect me never...

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The putrid, malodorous and fowl nauseating smell 
   can still be conjured nearly fifty years later wracked
I never forget ineradicable tangy, sulfurous 
   acrid odor rankled olfaction tract
entire sinus cavity, yet amazingly enough isolate 
   this offal nose not...

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A woman left for work. Her child went to school.
A latchkey kid, her daughter that day got
straight home from school, aware of every rule
to not let strangers in no matter what.

A neighbor said a visitor she’d seen
go to their apartment. He wore a smile
and the...

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Resumption of daily/nightly constitutional

I accompany my dark shadow...
(many hours before edge of night,
where twilight zone evokes night gallery),
and resumed walking a circuit
around perimeter of parking lot
today, a breezy temperate
twenty fifth of April two thousand
and twenty two, and perhaps
if regularly habituate myself
to said stroll physical endeavors
may...

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Allegheny rail train has been rolling along since dawn.
I can hear the patchy sounds of the horn ushered by the wind.
Sounds at first are muffled but become distinct as the train gets closer.

Gulls hovering over the waves that clash and thunder.
I enjoy walking the tracks...

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Requisite inspection November 24th, 2020 at Apartment B44

Countdown triggers nails
bitten down to quick
geesh if only Mary Poppins
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda courtesy
film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
riding at light speed in nick
of time travelling on her

state of the art...

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Requisite inspection June 29th, 2022 at Apartment B44

Aforementioned title and following
little known verses of Matthew
finds me feeling squeamish, 
peevish, anguish, et cetera
at our (the missus and mine) digs,
cuz low income rental housing regulations
require safe and secure place to live,
hence unpleasant inspection
scheduled at least once per...

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OH! Praise the Lord and Bless this very day,
the morning of Wednesday, March 24, 2021!
Because the single dosage Johnson and 
Johnson vaccine's shot is the very one
that I humbly and faithfully prayed about!

First I filled out a sheet, about any health
conditions. And put in on...

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Woke up (September 6th, 2020)...

Got outta bed boot
did not drag comb against head
of  beetle browed foo fighter,
he did not arise
bright eyed (by George), nor bushy tailed
to bucket flush toilet.

After attending her asinine
morning toiletries, the missus
lovingly nudged me awake
quickly urging me to betake
sleepyhead husband pronto...

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The missus upstages Grosse and Quade at unit b44...
for upcoming June 2023 inspection/violation.

Countdown triggers nails
bitten down to quick
geesh if only Mary Poppins
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda courtesy
film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
riding at light speed in nick
of time travelling...

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Futile effort to plunger the clogged kitchen sink...
courtesy malfunctioning garbage disposal

which won't be removed
by onsite maintenance man
UNTIL/UNLESS 
fruit fly excreta wiped off
(impossible to access)
areas along bathroom and kitchen walls
so communicated "the warden."

Thus we (yours truly and his missus)
subjected to inhale 
putrid, offal, and noxious
smelling stagnant...

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otherwise wordily titled: pooped out
after pouring bucketfuls of water into 
place of ablutions
all the while skipping to my loo
umpteen times courtesy bathtub faucet
turned toward hot temperature
so toilet would finally,
magnificently, and royally flush.

As ofttimes occurred in the past
anonymous reader's time
I once again promise to waste
concerning asinine...

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My maintenance man's name is Scott
and boy that man can do a lot..
Always cutting the yards and raking
up leaves, a constant need with Sycamore trees..
In snow and ice out there he'll be,
clearing sidewalks and streets of this community.
Scott's always there when neighbor's call, to
paint their...

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