Best Jamming Poems
Starting earlier every year,
Christmas costs more and more with less cheer.
This year Santa fell flat.
His diet took the fat,
Elves said,” this will not be good” they fear.
Watching commercials, they got idea.
Close diners, except pizzeria.
Each ad on T.V. now,
Pictures of pizzas wow!
Santa gains, without diarrhea.
Ads worked, he got a jolly belly.
Elves solemnly sat in a deli.
Commercialized just right,
His red suit fit so tight,
They needed petroleum jelly.
I wait crossly
To get picked up straightaway
I wait optimistically
To step into the murky bowels of my car
I can’t advance…
When you’re dragging me to your feet
I can’t progress…
When you’re motivating me to be incomplete
I wait at ease
To get a ride home
I wait with heaps of crotchetiness
To jam myself into the jumbled car
I can’t drive on…
When you’re creating traffic in my dreams
I can’t carry on as fast
When you’re taking your time on the freeway,
Though your obedience beams
You’re jamming my dreams, sweet dream catcher
You’re liveliness gleams…It’s not what it seems... (2)
It’s certainly not what it seems…
Blame it on my dreams!
You’re just a dream come true…
It’s nothing that popped out of the blue…
It’s not that surprising
If you only knew…
Oh, you don’t have a clue…
This infatuation is positively true!
I can’t move on…I can’t drive on… (2)
I can’t ride on the road to victory…
I can’t burst forth by dashing proudly
Until you hit the brakes and cease from
Jamming my exotic dreams
I can’t travel on… I can’t light up the sky…
I can’t dream on and on and on
I can’t drift on and on
I can’t…I can’t move on
I can’t… I can’t!
Until you inspire me to gleam!
(the whispers grow soundless)
I can’t drive on…
I can’t drive on…
I can’t drive on…
I can't...I can't...
I just can't,
Dear friend...
*silence*
Jammin' in Jamaica
Driving my DeSoto
Being pursued by
My foe Quasimodo
Lying on the dash is
The missing person photo
When my phone rings
I hear "Hello Moto!"
(Chorus)
I don't have to work
When I'm in my pajamas
Acting like a jerk
When I'm in the Bahamas
Really go berserk
When I'm feeding my llamas
We all go to pieces
When we’re talkin' to our mommas
Jammin' in Jamaicaaaa...
Jammin' in Jamaicaaaa...
Jammin' in Jamaicaaaa...
Jammin' in Jamaicaaaa...
Rush hour traffic
So I park my DeSoto
Nowhere in sight
Is my foe Quasimodo
See a man who looks like
The missing person photo
Then his phone rings
Shouting "Hello Moto!"
(Chorus)
I don't have to work
When I'm in my pajamas
Acting like a jerk
When I'm in the Bahamas
Really go berserk
When I'm feeding my llamas
We all go to pieces
When we’re talkin' to our mommas
Jammin' in Jamaicaaa...
Jammin' in Jamaicaaa...
Jammin' in Jamaicaaa...
Jammin' in Jamaicaaa...
Jammin' in Jamaica
With the man in the photo
Who's not really missing
Just roving incognito
Suddenly appears
My foe Quasimodo
Truce as we pose
For a group selfie photo
(Chorus)
I don't have to work
(Jammin' in Jamaicaaa...)
When I'm in my pajamas
Acting like a jerk
(Jammin' in Jamaicaaa...)
When I'm in the Bahamas
Really go berserk
(Jammin' in Jamaicaaa...)
When I'm feeding my llamas
We all go to pieces
(Jammin' in Jamaicaaa...)
When we’re talkin' to our mommas
The little girl loves rubbing me,
I love giving her kisses when we have tea.
She has this bowl of four new friends,
goldfish cannot go out to play even on weekends.
She spends way too much time with this bowl of water,
these four goldfish need to play with a sea otter.
Has she forgotten about me her kissing cat,
I even let her dress me up in a crazy polka dotted hat.
Today as I stare into the fish bowl, I wondered if I could replace them with four pieces of coal.
His fingers make this quitar sing..
His lyrics grab by the arm and ring..
A tall dark God with poetic words..
Hold a crowd with just a surge..
The national Anthem never heard this way..
Set standards and to all who will later will play..
Gone to fast as most legends do..
Jamming up in Heaven with Lennon
and Joplin too..
Late one star-crossed summer's night
when I'd had more than enough
and only just in case
I was packing all my hard-won stuff
accumulated over more than several years
up to my ears there was indeed a lot of it
squashing jamming squeezing cramming
all in all a quite tight fit
as my entire worldly goods left in a taxi with me
something I now would like to know
who came up with the cliché and said,
'You can't take it with you when you go.'