Best In Laws Poems
Full circle, karma comes around 360 degrees.
When this happens, they'll be brought to their knees.
They have to answer for all they have done.
Stealing everything from her and her sons.
Always preaching, with such righteous indignation.
All their false modesty and sense of elation.
At this moment, they may be on cloud nine,
But as the Lord sayeth, "Vengeance is Mine!"
Slice ham so thin, your in-laws will never come back
This pearl of wisdom came my way
So many years ago
A TV ad that to this day,
The funniest I know
It sliced and diced, did everything
A kitchen chef could seek
In fact, it claimed that it could make
ONE tomato last a week!
But best for me as I recall,
Laughed so hard, I could die-
Onions it could dice so fast,
You don’t have time to cry!
From “The Miracle Slicer”
God is the chief justice,his laws solutions
In the law making world of dreams,six people population
Father in law,mother in law,in the absence of children
Son in law,daughter in law, in the absence of parents
Brother in law,sister in law,the law making relations
One law to other law,no any blood connections
Mother in law vs daughter in law,a long pending action
No court prepared to deliver a decision!
IN-LAWS
Your parents long gone,
many in-laws fill space with joy.
Some take more than give.
By John Trusty
Making the In-Laws Welcome
By Elton Camp
“Visiting will be my sister & her mate Jim.
Penny warned, “Fred, you be nice to them.”
“Maybe they should stay at a hotel,
But still see that you treat them well.”
Fred prided himself on his guile
So he tried to hide an evil smile
For he knew just what he’d do
So their visit they would rue
In came the sister and her jerk
While Penny was still at work
“The guest room you can settle in
Afterward, our visit can begin.”
Fred led the way down the staircase
The guest room was a total disgrace
The dingy basement had no light
And the two old cots were a fright
His sister-in-law let out a yell
The two hurried to the hotel
Penny got home, looking for them
“Where’s sister and her man Jim?”
“A room they decided they’d rent.
Back soon, but it’s where they went.”
“I tried to get them to stay with us,
They said it would be too much fuss.”
as the case my be,
many in-laws or out-laws,
relatives of flaws…
~
at the least, no peace,
cause of marriage mating-pause,
epic dysfunctions…
~
erections of rules,
needed fool, not Viagra…
marriage is stagnate!
By John Moses Freeman
For and in Honor of Dr Ram
And Contest
Daughter-in - law's baggage.
That mother - in - law will change
Or accept me for who I am
Seems difficult.
Being the head of the family,
She places orders to everyone,
Me given the most orders
Even my skillful assertiveness
Doesn't convince her.
"She did this","she did that"
Echoes in my mind.
Ego based relation is empty.
How I wish she focused
On my assets rather than flaws.
I have always dreamt both of us
Spending quality time together,
Instead of arguments,why not
Discuss issues and resolve them.
My struggle for healthy ties goes on,
This is my saga,
How I get baffled and deranged
By her unecessary arguments,
Come what may ,I will leave
No stone unturned to be my authentic self,
And fill my house with,
Love,peace and satisfaction.
Contest-Gems for your baggage
Sponsor-Carolyn Devonshire.
12-2-2017
her own family
till death or eternity
home came the new bride
unsure and alone
mom-in-law takes a strong stand
history repeats
By-Tahera Mannan
For Dr. Ram's contest
In-laws
And their flaws
Sisters and brothers
Ma’s and Pa’s
Some are sweet
Some are cold
Some are young
Some are old
They’re short
They’re tall
They talk too much
But they never call
Some will drink a coke
Others will have a beer
I hear someone saying “I’m thirsty”
Here’s a class of water my dear
“I like rib eye steak; I like roasted chicken”
“I like baked salmon; the food is in the kitchen”
“Is there anything that I’m missing?”
“Naugh Bob keep looking at Miss, I think he’s smitten”
We ate
We talked
We danced
We all had a good time
Family, friends and in-laws
People are cool no matter what their titles
When it’s all summed up
The day was delightful
They come to visit
with their opinions galore
Time to go home yet?
They mean well, but still
they're getting under my skin
Time to leave here now!
Got to love in-laws
especially when they go
Back home, far away...
Written by: Shani Fassbender
MOTHER IN LAWS
Mother in law’s are known to be interfering and feared,
Be loving, for they are the brunt of jokes of how they are persevered,
For they can cause chaos and absolute hell,
But can be sweet and understanding as well,
For which side of the fence, are you geared?
I have a daughter in law who’s swell,
I could not wish for more, I can honestly tell,
I’ll always love her, she is family, she’s my son’s wife,
Who he chose to stay with, for the rest of his life,
Show her love, you must, and then she’ll love you as well!
The same applies if you have a son in law,
Be respectful and caring, you don’t want the relationship to thaw,
Don’t crowd the couple, they have a life of their own,
Don’t harp and chew on the same bone,
Be there when they need you, and don’t ever mention any flaw!
sit and listen to the quiet
it's outside the christmas norm
because now, when all is silent
it's the calm before the storm
the kids are upstairs sleeping
you're resting, sitting with a drink
in a few hours ...storms a brewing
it'll push you to the brink
the kids are up and yelling
paper wrapping all around
until the house is empty
no more rest today is found
the kids are outside playing
hockey games out on the drive
you just look around and wonder
if the day you will survive
next, arrive the in-laws
re-gifting what you gave last year
and good old uncle charlie
bee-lining for the beer
bad jokes and boring stories
arguements about the past
snide comments and back handers
how long will this all last
you sneak outside for a quick drink
grab a smoke on the back porch
if it wasn't your house they were in
the whole damn thing you'd torch
phony smiles and airy kisses
and the folks are on their way
the storm is almost over
for another Christmas Day
the kids are in and up in bed
there is silence once again
the calm once more before the storm
tomorrow, your folks come at ten!!!!
Never had I embraced an officious abode as religiously before
But this striking red and white interior I started to adore
If I was out on a run and needed to use the loo
I’d stop by and relieve myself with no urgency to remove my shoe
Nested on the second floor and fairly warm during the cold
Drizzles off my head and from my eyes, it did hold
I have been offered a variety of sandwiches there
And sweet smiles and embraces by my snug caramelized bear
In the Fijian vicinity the British Big Ben would sound
Despite the degree of my insanity, my heart in tranquillity would pound
Last month when I stopped to say ‘hello’, at my mother-in-law’s house
The security guard enquired if I was the ex-owner’s spouse!
I stood speechless as in that relationship; we had no commitment
I then went to my mother’s home and painted it with an imitation ruby and snow, forfeiting a tenderly futile hunt.
There we sat, a sunny afternoon
The barbie lit, not quite enough flame
Her father fans it, wife tries to explain
Happy families. Two language game
I’ve nothing in common, forgotten their name.
I let myself go, release my sarcastic mood
We’re all inane smiles personified polite
He’s waving at the barbie dust on the food
My wife hangs on to her rage a soaring kite
Mother and son know not the time to be rude
Daughter-in-law’s parents, peasants afar
My stepson, squirming, cursing his luck
New allies for her, from now on life will suck
Mum kisses his head, he’s her pride and joy
His life’s anonymous, she cuddles her boy.
Lines Thought At My In-Laws’ Commode
--------------------------------------------------
Oh! This, their only-bathroom, is in the kitchen.
And this door, an iron door!
Allows even the smallest sounds slip—hiss fiss siss
Hahaha…!
And it has a wide, an-inch’s-gap below.
'Their new, darling son-in-law,
They count my talks and measure my steps.'
Ah! My heart is beating badly
And my mind’s nerves mayn’t burst.
And if I am left unconscious here, inside…!
Thanks to her aged father and his old radio
And the re-mix songs played so piercing…