Best Hiney Poems

I bought Trumps book of poems, yes it's true
And I really think you should get one too
Because you just don't know
When tissue stocks get low
So, keep a copy of it in your loo... 

Trump sent kamala his poetry book
Said she'll have plenty time to take...

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I am a sea shell
exotic and rare
delicate, luminescent
beyond compare

I once was a home
for a creature so tiny
who hid in my depths
protecting her hiney

For she was so lovely
she gleamed and she shined
that she would've been eaten
in that tasty sea brine 

But I gave her long life
in...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed your own butt 
It stinks so keep it shut
Pessimism must be your perfumer

No one would believe that you never fart
Gas...

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NBA Finals Prayer

Lord, blesseth thine Warriors
And treateth not thine Fans 
with a such a Cavalier attitude.

Thy restoreth our soles.
Thy quickeneth and brusheth off our feet of Klay. 
Thy maketh passes down for Green fast breaks.

Yea, though we've walked through
the Valley of Lebron,
we shall fear no...

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Ol' Claus was drunk from strong bourbon whiskey 
Then touched Rudolph and tried to get frisky
Rudolph said no way
Us deer's are not gay
And placed a hoof print on his fat hiney... 




Written 14th of December 2021

I Need a Good Laugh: XMAS LIMERICK CONTEST

Sponsored by Andrea...

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To Hellie's credit, she had rightly judged...
for, all told- the young man was quite shady
so from her guard-post she would not be budged
for she was most loyal to her lady

And when he cooed and whined to survey
Bronwyn's hide-out with treasures galore
(and blinded by love, the...

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There Once was an Old Miser from Queens

He was too Cheap to Pay for the Broken Zipper on his Jeans

He Jerry-Rigged it with Rope

Then Came off Looking Like a Dope

When His Craggy Hiney was Exposed 

as They Fell to His Knees!...

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GIVE ME A HOG     by keith

Gimme a hog
Make it low to the ground
Gimme a hog
So I can get around
Gimme a hog
‘cause they’s the dope
Gimme a hog
One like the pope.
Gimme a hog
Make it all nice and shiny
Gimme a hog
So I can haul...

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Mother of Cowards
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

So unlike the brazen giant of Greek fame
With conquering limbs astride from land to land,
Spread-eagled, showering gold, a strumpet stands:
A much-used trollop with a torch, whose flame
Has long since been extinguished. And her name?
"Mother of Cowards!"...

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the air is nose runnin' cold
this rare day off is so needed
the only thing missing is the soft sound of your voice
too bad you had to work today
just know that i am thinking of you
of course, you won't believe me
deep down you wanna hit me...

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Limericks V - Politics

Baked Alaskan
by Michael R. Burch

There is a strange yokel so flirty
she makes whores seem icons of purity.
With all her winkin’ and blinkin’
Palin seems to be thinkin’—
"Ah culd save th’ free world ’cause ah’m purty!"



Going Rogue in Rouge
by Michael R. Burch

It'll be hard...

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Riding the porcelain pony
the chemo hershey squirts

Not my favorite moments
but your inspiration for song 
helps me get it along
and I come out laughing now

I am doing tea and toast for breakfast
a banana chaser oh how passe
I feel just like a toddler
right down to my sore hiney

Still I am laughing...

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I have to go pee you see and my bladder is oh so tiny 
so won't you please hurry, no don't show your hiney
one leg up 
on leg down 
go ahead leak, then get out of my way, ... Oh Blimey!...

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Springtime


Springtime, springtime it’s in the air.
Gonna put on my shorts and sandals and visit the local state fair.
The flowers are all blooming and the breeze feels so nice.
Maybe I’ll take a stroll in the park and get a rainbow italian ice.
Just love seeing the baby...

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