Best Hellhole Poems
For Silent One's - Mamma Poetry Contest
Where is the love, Mamma?
Through broken Louvre blinds, you're ever watching
Rosary beads clicking prayers on repeat mode, uttering
Your plethora of Faith keeps me steadily striving
Though, frustrated when peace will be arriving.
Under cover of the midnight moon, hookers seducing
Shady men with illicit wares aggressively peddling
Of changing our situation, I'm forever idealizing.
Enduring every day's trauma, just surviving.
Seeking direction from above, when is enough enough?
Tell me, Mamma ~ Where is the love?
Collective immorality still existing.
A ticking clock morality meekly resisting
Corruption, greed, and deceit still abounding
This life where goodness seems to be drowning.
A depraved degradation of insanity still insisting,
Death, broken hearts, crime persisting
In the chaos, qualms never ceasing.
lawlessness above the muck and mire rising
At the kerbside, a holy man piously preaching
Should I turn my cheek, still beseeching
Amidst their plundering and their leeching?
NO !!
Enough is Enough ~ Where is the Love?
Beyond-repair abhorrence, I'm escaping.
Fervently, I'm hoping and praying.
Please God, Mamma, be safe while I'm gone
I'll be back for you before long
In the eerie darkness, emotions imploding
Sirens blaring, with the sound of guns exploding
My shallow breath quickening, turning back with throat thickening
All the while, I'm screaming
Where is the love?
Back through this hellhole, I'm rapidly racing
All through the panic, still hoping and praying
Please God, Mamma ~ Be Safe, Be Safe, Be Safe
Neon blue-red lights flickering and flashing.
Through my open front door, I'm madly dashing.
Looming through the haze, I hear them saying.
'Sorry, Miss, yet another random shooting
Your Mamma just got caught in the cross-firing.'
The last thing I hear is my own voice crying.
MAMMA ~ THERE IS NO LOVE! THERE IS NO LOVE!
On this dreary winter morning I sit on a bench in Central Park. Lost in my own
thoughts of the conversation I had with my ex-wife and her last remarks. I keep asking
myself is it my fault? What did I do wrong? The chilly wind fills my ears with it's endless
song. I shiver slightly and goose bumps crawl along the back of my neck. Her words have
left me an emotional wreck. I pull my leather jacket tighter around my shoulders. I feel it in
my bones this day will get colder.
I've seen several joggers getting in their morning run. That just shows people will
continue their lives never mind the rays of the sun. So many thoughts running through my
head. And I hold the morning newspaper I still haven't read. I contemplate over my life, it's
not always easy, and so-called-friends can be the enemy. Even your spouse living in your
house can betray you with infidelity. That is why my heart is aching like a cavity. Right now
I'm doing my best to hang on to my sanity, but I really want to shout profanity.
I notice an attractive couple hand-n-hand laughing and enjoying a morning stroll; and
for some reason I can't control, I feel a sense of peace glow within my soul. My insecurities
diminish from their dark hellhole. I begin to feel "whole," and suddenly this morning doesn't
seem so cold.
I get up from the bench shaking off the numbness that has set in. A very pretty woman
walks by with her dog and I grin. She notices and smiles back. Wow! A kinda smile that is
only meant for kodak! I watch her walk past me with her dog leading the way. Something
tells me "you better not let this one get away." As I'm listening to my inner voice, she
glances back over her shoulder, and I knew that she too was giving me a choice. Amazing
how just several minutes ago my entire world seemed so dark. I now knew everything was
going to be okay because of this bench in Central Park......
* 10th Place win in "Anything Goes" Contest
sponsored by A Rambling Poet
Me father was a collier, worked Harton off the coast
Though he rattled from the coal dust he was whiter than a ghost
But the one thing that reviled him in his God-forsaken post
Was the torment of the pit ponies who he'd love and trust the most.
Shetlands worked the low seams, Gallers the big pit
And they toiled in dust and danger in the darkness and the grit
Blinkered up between the limbers, heaving coal, tubs full of it
Were the brave young beasts of burden, all a-frothing at the bit.
And Blackie was a strong 'un, he'd been down since '34
But he earned the lads good bonus so they worked him more and more
Till the weight buckled his legs and he stumbled to the floor
And he just laid there a-panting, all a-choking in his craw.
Ah me Da would bring them sugar and share with them his bait,
Now his mind was torn with fury and his heart was filled with hate
So raging black with anger he made the butchers wait
And he vowed he'd take the pony back up with him in the crate
Then Da's no longer digging, they locked him up you see,
For misappropriating mineowners property,
But you cannot cage a conscience, he'd set the brave one free,
From the bittered, blackened hellhole that had been his slavery..
Now Blackie's in the meadow with horses by his side
When the miners bring their children down he takes them for a ride
And he passes by the pithead and the place he nearly died
And he brays a silent prayer for the others still inside
For the broken, bloodied ponies and the tears yet to be cried
There's torment in them ponies down the mine, Hear me well, lad
There's torment in them ponies down the mine, Hear me well, lad
There's torment in them ponies down the mine.
HEAR ME SING THIS IN CONCERT ON YOUTUBE: 'Louis Spence.Ballard of Blackie'
THANK YOU.
Mom
So many words to say, so many things unspoken
where were you when all I needed was your love
and devotion?
To protect me from all the evil and darkness in this world
But instead, you decided to sacrifice your own little girl…
To be your husband’s play toy, to be touched inappropriately
yet whenever I told you, you didn’t want to flee.
Instead, you joined in and then it became three…
I was a child, what was I supposed to do?
I had no one to tell, because that person was supposed to be
YOU! You were the person I was supposed to tell those things to
whenever someone made fun of me, or took advantage of my body.
Instead, you decided that your husband was more important,
that you literally tainted our relationship
And you made it become potent!
How? What? And why?
Do you know what you did to me
made me want to die....
The torture of having to live with you every single day
but having no other choice because
I had no one to pay my way
Of getting out of that hellhole…
How is it that I can still think about someone I HATE so ing much?
I can’t stand you for everything you did, and for every time
You touched….me. You’re an evil horrible
human being, and you didn’t deserve to be loved.
But yet you were adored and loved by our whole family
except for those who truly know what you and Keat did to me.
You see Mom, your job as a mother was to
care for me, nurture me, love me
not abuse me, molest me, and let your husband have his way with me.
But even after ALL the f-ed up stuff you did,
strangely enough, you still raised a pretty awesome kid.
Yes, ME…that’s right, it is me.
Because the difference between you and I mother
Is this……….
You only cared what was in a man's pants, whereas I actually
care for, cherish, nurture, and love my children
with ALL of my heart.
Because if I EVER found out that someone did
to my kids, what you and your crappy husband did to me
They’d be buried 12 feet underground with a hole in their head.
But thank God, oh thank God, you’re already dead.
So now I will never have to worry about
my children growing up with you around,
because all you ever did was bring
everyone and everything down.
The only one true thing I could ever thank you for
is for giving me life, so I can raise my kids
to be better than both you and I.
Good Riddance and Goodbye.
(No Hope)
The alone...
oppresses me.
She settles inside of
the life she has stole,
leaving the shell of me,
as cold as stone.
Oblivion so close
I can feel it's low groan.
For my sadness and sin
you now make me atone.
I can't bear the weight
of the cost of your toll.
It presses me down,
my body left prone.
I try and I try
to escape my hellhole,
but scream as I might
no one will come.
My courage betrays me
and I'm chilled to the bone.
I fear deep inside me
I can never go home,
like leaves on a breeze
my hope has now flown.
The alone...
surrounds me.
She beckons me,
emptying my soul.
Her darkness engulfs me,
everything gone.
The nothing inside of me,
but dark seeds you have sewn.
The sorrow so thick
I can't breath on my own.
I wade through the mud
of memories you control.
My heart has withdrawn,
lost in the unknown.
Deeper and deeper
drowning in this hole,
I scratch at this pit
till my fingers are numb.
My story but a book
of indifferent monotone.
No escape can I find
from this perilous tome,
as my spirit lies dying
beneath this tombstone.
12/18/15
Sending Love to My Papa
Underneath his multiple dark layers,
He was desperately seeking the light.
Wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing his betrayers,
Kinsman who disregarded his cruel plight.
Memories of guilt, loneliness, and shame,
Ruined and fragmented his tortured soul.
Years of misdeeds and their utter disdain,
He spiraled down an abysmal hellhole.
Tragic mother’s attempt at suicide.
Philandering father bedding hussies.
Abandoned precious children mortified.
Devastating hearts of blameless babies.
Ignored was the beauty of innocence,
Unearthed by kind love and strong resilience.
Married for eleven years
It began simply, with daily tears
It wasn’t always bad
Yet on most days I felt terribly sad
The good times were great
No indication of our eventual fate
Together we spawn two children
Early in life they knew the bail bondsman
He began to own me, to assert his control
Eerily I descend deeper into a hellhole
We were together, I was alone
So much fear, I keep my children near
What to do, where to go
Questions I pose but answers I don’t know
I’m so afraid
I realize, my trust I’ve mislaid
I have no skills, I don’t work
If I did, perhaps only a clerk
He uses this against me, wryly offering a smirk
I know I can change him
I love him
He tells me not to worry
He tells me he’s sorry
He is a tyrant
I shed tears
He plays upon my fears
He dominates
He controls
He possesses
He has stolen my voice
Until the day he gave me no choice
We stand, we argue
Then my tormented face is finally kissed by his clenched fist
Stunned, I stagger back
Looking up, searching the sky, asking why
Visible from heaven above
I now see a new sort of love
Loving myself will set me free
As if struck by a lightening bolt
His fist launches my revolt
I know I must go
Jess and Daniel, my helpless children
My love for you I will forever show
His assault is not my fault
A way of thinking I must halt
My children and I start anew, finding a new truth
Self-reliance is our fount of youth
Hands to my face, sobbing with no trace
I will survive and I can thrive
I have beaten the tyrant
Overcome my fears
Having shed far too many tears
Dependent on no one
I have prevailed
Tyrant, tears and fears
Inmate #0459587
As an inmate I feel I'm gonna suffocate and I wanna disappear.
I'm surrounded by hate and there's much evil in the atmosphere!
Behind these steel bars, I'm all alone searching for peace in my soul.
There is no wishing on falling stars, for you can't see them in this hellhole.
Homemade knives taking lives, just to protect manhood and self respect.
Only the strong can survive, and the devil is in search of souls to collect!
You can't avoid trouble for it eventually finds you, so be aware.
Mentally, living in a secure bubble, looking at my point of view I stay prepared for warfare!
Correctional officers try and get under my skin, making my stay here a living hell.
With this pad and pen, I expose this sin and yet they still suppress me in this cell!
As an inmate I am always wrong, and a correctional officer is always right.
Their actions create hate, and as I continue to be strong, I can't avoid this parasite!
These walls remain like iron jaws, chewing me to shreds.
Demons in my head using their claws, causing a spiritual bloodshed!!
Inmate #0812118
Living in prison, a place that'll bring your glory to hell.
A place where everone has a story to tell.
A place that was built just to end your wishes.
There's no more family hugs or friendly kisses.
Just a bunch of grown men living life with pain.
Hoping and praying that one day the laws will change.
Being constantly stressed and oppressed in every way.
Working hard as a slave to be paid 40 cents a day!
I try to humble myself and continue to move in silence;
Because unnecessary talking only leads to violence!
Waiting for letters that never come and visits I never see.
Watching life pass me by, wishing that I was free.
The sun rises, then it set's, so that's another day gone.
Still a couple years left, but yet, another day closer to home!
Note: I wrote the first stanza, the second half was wrote by my brother in the same struggle.
You may write and say "hey" to him if you like:
Frank McCree #0812118
P .O.Box 2405
Marion NC 28752
You are just old man spinning wheels trying to live for a million years.
You are just an apple tree chopped down trying to re-root from the ground.
Your hatefulness means naught because your life is facing the judgment of God.
You are just an old elderly man gambling his months when he has been told to
rest his heart.
You been misguided by your ministry and damned by the demons of the innocent.
The Arabs Kings cannot save your soul from your hellhole chosen by Jehovah.
So pay for your gravesite and bid the world goodbye.
This is the advice given to a life prophesied.
The Monks gave the gift to you.
You refuse to follow the truth.
You were brought into a new world.
Blessed by the chosen one, eccentric he became.
Pakistan is your brother country.
You are of foreign blood.
Why have you thrown a stone at the righteous?
Your hatefulness means not anything.
You will be confronted by the acumen of the Lord Jehovah God.
Adieu…
________________________________________________________|
PENNED ON AUGUST 29, 2014!
The red sun cuts the gray sky like a dull knife
Morning, after fighting a long fireless night
We need to get to the Hole in the Wall
The Big Horn Mountains are cold in moonlight
We robbed a bank a couple days ago
A small dusty town in Johnson County
Traveled in circles for hours on end
Trying to elude the posse, looking for bounty
Now at the edge of a long narrow canyon
That leads to the Hole where we can hide
Dust in the distance is moving towards us
Time to saddle up, begin to ride
We have one cause, to escape the law
Many a time we've been shot and bled
Rustling cattle and robbing banks our call
If we're caught, we'll be hung or shot dead
Tonight we'll find safety in the hidden cabin
We'll rest with the money we just stole
Drink some whiskey and play some cards
Living life as an outlaw in this rocky hellhole
Lord Jesus, I am on bended knee
I have come to You with my plea
My heart is filled with much sadness
Lord, I'm confused with great distress
Father of my father, I pray unto Thee
to open my eyes and heart so I may see
the lighted path to follow my destiny
I need rededication of my faith and soul
to allow my entire being to become whole
and to save me from falling into Satan's hellhole
Lord Jesus, I pray that You will hear my plea
so I may spend with You, in Heaven for an eternity
Praise be unto You, my Lord Jesus and Savior
Amen
woman, oh woman
even after your
constant, daily
treatment of abuse
I demonstrated
I could have been
your karate kid.
In your defense
did I not impulsively
stand tall between
two warring giants
me, a whippet of a kid
arms outstretched
like sabre swords
pleading don't hurt
her....
taking blows
meant for you.
You the one that
inflicted pain 24/7
twisting the
tender skin off
my arm flesh and
leaving huge welts
that stung like
scorpion hot chilies
the umpteen mountainous
goose-egg bumps
you planted on
my tiny forehead
with knuckles
constructed of iron steel.
I demonstrated
a compassionate heart
in dreadful moments,
woman, oh woman
where was your
loving heart
standing in as mother
to an abandoned child
now trapped in a
poor, blazing hellhole.
With fresh eyes anew
...my learned enlightenment
I now understand your
sole/soul's motivation was
the almighty dollar
... hard cash that never
came through for you.
Pure and simple ...
avaricious by nature
most certainly
not nurture and,
please excuse me
while I laugh
you claim
to be a
christian!
Hmm, I say
hypocritical
and evil
to the core.
Eat
Eat
Those words I hate
This isn’t a cry, I just hate the way it taste
as its greasy eyes and melted sun linger over the bun.
A whisper lingers in my ear, spilling hurtful little lies.
Clinics and shrinks tell me I am mental
It is all in your head stop being non-cynical.
My mother says to be perfect, you must project
To be perfect is to neglect,
So why can’t I get this correct.
The smell makes me queasy,
Maybe a little uneasy
I take a bite
Maybe two or three.
This mirror starts to hate me,
aggravating my soul
letting me see I have no self-control.
This body is wavering.
I push, till it comes up,
and soon I'm at ease,
For this whale has been lifted.
My hair is dull, my body thin
I feel nothing within
ED has become my friend, he is unrelenting
He lingers in this hellhole that has begun
Now, I won’t say I love you no more
-not like I could with a straight face before
I’ve already reached your rotten core
To those spaces no one cares to explore
Benefits far too lost to reap
Lie upon lie you add to your heap
Like a limbless horse, like a worthless creep
Them disasters don’t make a peep
No they show in your every strive
In every worm you deprive
You the baked potato—I’m the chive
The fallen bit—the stricken thrive
I ain’t so peach n’ cream no more,
I’ve a wile and a way to the floor
I’ve kept all your ashes in store
And your whinin’ is making me sore
Yeah in that hellhole, delving deep
I find your wayside fib too steep
Downward I’ll plummet—you’ll weep
As the Lord I pray my soul to keep
Your dirty heart, it’s like a pitfall dive
Down a fire of pity and false drive
Aching to pull those ghouls into your lie
Till they bury themselves alive
It was going smoothly back then until the storm swept in
People left my side, I was wondering why nobody checked in;
Things changed right before my eyes, it’s like a curse was let in
Praying to to sky with my head on my pillow, trying to hear why;
It was a long time before things starting making sense, I know
that’s a sign
The sadness felt so heavy in my heart, my eyes couldn’t stop from
crying
I’m only focused on going higher, moving away from the past
I used to think that the hellhole was always going to last
Some things still go over my head, there’s more I need to grasp
Dwelling so deep in my thoughts, it feels like I can get lost
In the abyss of emptiness, looking for something to fill for a cost
A lot of demons tried to trap me, at times I almost got caught